| Friday, July 24, 2009 |
11:13 - I Wan Yu ... to read The Onion
http://www.theonion.com/content/index
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Is nothing sacred? Apparently The Onion has been acquired by a Chinese conglomerate by the name of Yu Wan Mei.
”FISH TIME IS SUCCESS TIME“ — ZUO XIABING
ZUO XIABING, 53, THE FOREMOST INNOVATOR OF THE SALVAGE FISHERY BUSINESS PARADIGM, FOUNDED YU WAN MEI WITH PURE, COMMUNITY-MINDED MOTIVES. SUCCESS WAS IMMEDIATE AND UNWAVERING, BECOMING ONLY MORE SO FOLLOWING ZUO’S IMPLEMENTATION OF A REVOLUTIONARY SPINE-AND-SWIM-BLADDER EXTRACTION SYSTEM IN 2000, AND PROGRESSIVE ON-ASSEMBLY-LINE LABOR AND DELIVERY PROTOCOL IN 2002.
DO NOT BE MISTAKEN. ZUO REMAINS A BELOVED AND GREATLY REVERED FATHER TO EACH OF HIS 32,000 LABORERS. HE THINKS OF NOTHING BUT TRIUMPH AND IS NEVER OCCUPIED WITH THE POSSIBILITY OF FAILURE.
HIS BLOODLINE IS PURE.
Check out some of these products and subsidiaries. Especially the first item in the second column. I knew it!
My God, but this took a lot of work. I think it's hilarious that the whole theme for this stunt is that newspapers are failing, but the print version of The Onion itself is at the same time so skyrocketingly popular. What this—and their ridiculously high-budget video arm, as well as The Daily Show and "Auto-Tune the News" and so on—say about our national priorities, I'm not sure; but it seems safe to say our appetite for satire over sincerity is not yet waning.
Via Chris.
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Brian Tiemann
