g r o t t o 1 1

Peeve Farm
Breeding peeves for show, not just to keep as pets
Brian Tiemann
Silicon ValleyNew York-based purveyor of a confusing mixture of Apple punditry, political bile, and sports car rentals.

btman at grotto11 dot com

Read These Too:

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James Lileks
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As the Apple Turns
Entropicana
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Capitalist Lion
Red Letter Day
Eric S. Raymond
Tal G in Jerusalem
Aziz Poonawalla
Corsair the Rational Pirate
.clue
Ravishing Light
Rosenblog
Cartago Delenda Est



Cars without compromise.





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  4/8/2002 -  4/14/2002
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 3/25/2002 -  3/31/2002
 3/18/2002 -  3/24/2002
 3/11/2002 -  3/17/2002
  3/4/2002 -  3/10/2002
 2/25/2002 -   3/3/2002
 2/18/2002 -  2/24/2002
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  2/4/2002 -  2/10/2002
 1/28/2002 -   2/3/2002
 1/21/2002 -  1/27/2002
 1/14/2002 -  1/20/2002
  1/7/2002 -  1/13/2002
12/31/2001 -   1/6/2002
12/24/2001 - 12/30/2001
12/17/2001 - 12/23/2001
Sunday, February 1, 2009
20:24 - Wet Blanket Central

(top)
Okay, seriously: what's up with all the freaking downers on Comedy Central these days?

I haven't had my TV on the cable networks for some months now. Tonight, for whatever reason, I flipped on Comedy Central and tuned in to a South Park marathon. Good, classic episodes all; laughter was had in abundance. And yet... in one commercial break after another, there was downer PSA after downer PSA. Sarah McLachlan with a weepy two-minute depressathon for the ASPCA. Some guy I've never heard of with another two-minute wail about how global warming is killing all the polar bears (which, by the way, is laughable on so many levels I won't even bother addressing it).

My question is: who greenlit these things for these time slots? Prime time on Comedy Central on a weekend? Who thought it was worth bumming out all the post-Super-Bowl viewers who'd tuned in for some cheap laughs? Who figured it was worth risking those viewers' eyeballs in the name of airing some politically-correct feel-good-by-feeling-bad flagellations?

It's like how some movie theaters never seem to mind putting their dumb comedic branding bumps right before the Feature Presentation card, even when it's a completely serious and/or epic movie whose mood has been properly set up by appropriately themed trailers preceding it. The little dancing filmstrip character comes pratfalling through the cartoon orchestra, ruins the mood, and prances out again, making us shift uncomfortably in our seats and try to gather up the pieces again in time for the credits to roll.

Until now I might have used "like a Sarah McLachlan ASPCA commercial in the middle of a South Park episode" as an illustrative hypothetical to describe the most inappropriate and unwelcome pairing possible. Only now I have to come up with something worse. Thanks a lot, Comedy Central.


Saturday, January 31, 2009
22:07 - Logomobile
http://www.neatorama.com/2008/02/18/evolution-of-car-logos/

(top)
Excellent illustrated article detailing the evolution of car company logos over the past century. Not all the notable ones are included, but the ones that have undergone significant change are pretty well covered. I love this stuff.

Via JMH.



21:29 - Gives "channel stuffing" a whole new meaning

(top)
Boy, some of these retailers just have such huge backlogs of inventory that they have to give it away.

(This joke will only make sense for a day or so; after that, note that at the time the albums were $1.99 and $0.99 respectively.)

Via Chris and his Super-Secret Secret Amazon Deal Newsletter Line.



05:28 - Now you're just getting lazy

(top)
Or desperate. Looks like these economic times have even driven spammers/phishers to new lows of guile:

Dear Email Owner,

This message is from messaging center to all Email owners. We are
currently upgrading our data base and e-mail center. We are deleting all
unused email to create more space for new one.

CONFIRM YOUR EMAIL BELOW:

Email Username: ...............
EMAIL Password: ................

Warning!!! Email owner that refuses to update his or her Email, within
Seven days of receiving this warning will lose his or her Email
permanently. You are to send your email username and password to the
webmaster via this email: org-updates2009@hotmail.com

Regards

Mrs. Anderson Mary
Webmaster (ORG)

Ssssssure. I'll get right on that.


Thursday, January 29, 2009
17:28 - New Yorkers are funny

(top)
"The name José, in Spanish... is that the one that's written like Jesus?"

(But Italian and Polish and Yiddish, everybody knows.)


Tuesday, January 27, 2009
10:08 - I guess I'm just too "feint of heart"
http://www.siliconvalleyautogroup.com/detail-2008-lamborghini-murcielago-reventon__3

(top)
Okay, how does this happen? A Lamborghini Reventón shows up at Silicon Valley Auto Group (mere blocks from my house there, grr)—one of ten produced in the world, and priced such that only the ten richest kings of Europe can afford one—and this is how they promote it?

Silicon Valley Auto Group is proud to present the most powerful and exclusive Lamborghini produced to date! The Reventon (named after the bull which famously killed matador Felix Guzman in 1943) has made its way to US soil! Only ten of these highly desireable supercars have been imported into the states and even fewer remain. Along with the power increase (now 660HP,) Reventon features what is quite possibly the most distinct styling ques of any automobile available today. Inspired by the F-22 Raptor, Reventon boasts a rather menacing Full Carbon Fiber exterior, where contrasting Alcantara, Leather and Carbon Fiber drape every inch of the interior. Also quite impressive are the super-bright full LED and Xenon headlights, (a first in the automotive industry) and Organic Display G-Froce Meter (showing dynamic drive forces and longitudinal acceleration patterns) normally found only in fighter jets. With a top speed of 211 miles per hour and its ability to achieve 0-60 times in an astonishing 3.3 seconds, the Lamborghini Reventon is certainly not for the feint of heart...

For information on how to purchase this highly desireable supercar, please contact one of our Lamborghini specialists at (408)354-4000.

While the "styling ques" are certainly imposing and the "G-Froce Meter" is sure to be the envy of any E-Meter installed in a Scientologist's lowly Gallardo, I have to wonder whether there isn't supposed to be some kind of market force in play that applies the veneer of sales language with a careful white-gloved hand when you're talking about cars like this. I mean, props to whoever wrote the blurb for digging deep into the superlatives bucket and giving us historical perspective and the like—but shouldn't a high-profile exotic car dealer do some proofreading?

Then again, I suppose even the manufacturers, who can't afford not to spend millions on polished marketing campaigns, can't ferret out every single potential "Chevy Nova" situation. According to Professor Wikipedia:

Reventón means "explosion" or "burst" in Spanish, when used as a noun.[13][14] In the vernacular, it is also used to define a very large party or a night on the town. It's commonly said "vámonos de reventón", which means "let's go party tonight." In automotive terms, it means "blowout, flat tire" when used as a noun.

Oh snap! Bet that'll scare off a lot of potential customers. I bet they'll have to sit this car out on the sidewalk on Blossom Hill Road and put those big yellow price-tag decals on the windshield as it gets repeatedly marked down in search of a buyer in this market. LO MILES! LIKE NEW! L[googly eyes]K!

Via Mark.


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