| Friday, November 10, 2006 |
00:40 - Oh great, another disturbance in the Force
http://www.supershadow.com/starwars/episode7/plot.html
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Kevin D. at Dean's World linked to this purported set of George Lucas story treatments for Star Wars Episodes 7 through 9. The general consensus appears to be that they're just fan-fiction, second-rate and derivative at best, by some anonymous fan; at least, that's sure how it appears to me. But I've got to say that the "treatments" have this much going for them: they perfectly match the tone of the 1/2/3 movies.
In other words: they're boring. They're formulaic. They're labyrinthine alphabet-soups of alien worlds that you just know would be perfect candidates for the great new CG effects du jour, yet would somehow manage to come across as pointless wastes of time and money. And for all their convolutedness, you'll notice: they're linear. There's not a plot twist to be found in them from beginning to end. Just one "spectacular" or "thrilling" battle after another until the credits roll.
Whoever wrote these pieces of cargo-cult fan-fiction makes the same mistake Lucas did with the prequels, which is to assume that what people want from Star Wars is lots of explosions and cool space battles. As opposed to, you know, story. Characters. Plot. Philosophy. Something we can continue to enjoy once the curtain has fallen.
(Yes, I know I call a lot of things "cargo cults". But that's only because, well, a lot of things are cargo cults.)
Having the Jedi Kids get into random fights with thugs in nightclubs serves what purpose to the story, precisely? The Mandalorians do what to advance the backdrop of the Star Wars universe? Are we meant to cheer at the prospect of even bigger light-saber battles and a really huge crowd of Jedi ghosts clapping at the end of Episode 9?
And the Dark Side is defeated once and for all by ... setting off a Doomsday Machine that destroys a star system with 31 planets and billions of people? This is supposed to be an inspiring end to a nine-movie series that spent so much time talking about "balance" and the inherent harmony of nature and the value of human life?
Feh. I'd be surprised if the writer of these "treatments" had broken the 14-years-of-age barrier.
After reading The Darth Side, and realizing just how deep the rabbit-hole can go in the hands of someone who actually understands what creative value there is in the Star Wars universe as originally conceived, and how much bigger and more fascinating it is than the tawdry and bauble-studded world of midichlorians and computer-generated clone armies that we've been given, I can't forgive anyone for attempting to perpetrate on us something with such a stunning lack of vision as these, whether his name is Lucas or not.
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Brian Tiemann
