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Peeve Farm
Breeding peeves for show, not just to keep as pets
  Blog \Blôg\, n. [Jrg, fr. Jrg. "Web-log".
     See {Blogger, BlogSpot, LiveJournal}.]
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Monday, January 27, 2003
15:19 - Bang

(top) link
This is cute; just had it forwarded to me.
DEBATING THE WAR ON TERROR

Question You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner and is running at you while screaming obscenities. In your hand is a Sig .40 and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Liberal Answer
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that is inspiring him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me or would he just be content to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days to try to come to a conclusion.



Conservative Answer
BANG!


Texan's Answer
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click... (sounds of clip being ejected and fresh clip installed)

Wife "Sweetheart, he looks like he's still moving, what do you kids think?"

Son "Mom's right Dad, I saw it too..."

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

Daughter "Nice grouping Daddy!

UPDATE: Via CapLion; here's what happens when you apply this theory Oklahoma style. ('Course, just watch-- the hero will get flung in the hoosegow.)

"Westbound on Brady," though. I like that.


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© Brian Tiemann