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Brian Tiemann
Silicon Valley-based purveyor of a confusing mixture of Apple punditry and political bile.

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Friday, December 19, 2003
12:13 - Apostrophe Fantasies
http://www.capitalistlion.com/article.cgi?789

(top) link
I know I'll regret this.

CapLion has posted in defense of Robert Jordan in the face of rampant Tolkienophilia, and he's entitled to do so. I can't say much in direct response, not having ever read any Jordan (well, I tried once to get into one of the books, but I was floundering under florid inward thoughts from some princess in a tower about a dozen different bizarrely-named houses within ten pages or so, and the map inside the front cover has more in common with the one in Bored of the Rings than with Tolkien's); but I can say that Tolkien seems to have turned me into something of a chauvinist when it comes to the fantasy genre.

Commenter Jay Random says:

Tolkien was a peerless prose stylist, capable of writing fluently & powerfully in a tremendous range of styles, ranging from King James Bible to Frank Richards Edwardian. His prose is also tremendously compact; it is difficult to spot places where he could have written a scene shorter without vitiating its whole effect. Jordan writes pedestrian prose, no offence in itself, but he pads & pads & pads. Inidual scenes stretch on for whole chapters.

As befits a professional linguist who invented languages as a hobby, Tolkien has a superb gift for names. Jordan tends to appropriate names from bizarre & ill-matched sources, & betrays a tin ear by many of his choices. There is just no excuse for Ghraem'lan.

Which is indicative of the genre being dominated by what I call "apostrophe fantasies", for obvious reasons. It makes it hard to distinguish a serious novel from a piece of fan-fiction.

Someone once gave me a copy of The Sword of Shannara by Terry Brooks, and I don't know if I have ever been so viscerally disgusted by a book-- to the level of wanting to burn it and disavow any friend who had a copy of it on his shelf, which seemed alarmingly many-- as I was with that one. (I remember-- it was back in high school-- writing a diatribe in which I said that whereas Brooks was perfectly happy naming a character "Panamon Creel", pulling random syllables out of "bizarre and ill-matched sources" (like, say, his ass), Tolkien would have given a full literal translation and etymology of the name, and devoted a subheading to the appendix explaining how this was an improper transliteration of a diphthong that the Eldar would have pronounced with the palatal criol, and so on.)

One of my earliest blog entries, shortly following the release of the first Jackson movie, was about Brooks using the occasion to hop into the spotlight and talk about how big an influence Tolkien was on his life. Yeah, no flippin' kidding, I said. Considering that The Sword of Shannara has a plot and cast of characters identical to LotR's, except that they're on a quest to find something rather than to get rid of something (gee, that makes it more original), except with names like "Flick" and "Rappahalladran River"-- how generous of him to use the occasion of Tolkien's revival to oh-so-modestly shill his "Skull Bearers" and "Allanon". Oh, and it's in a post-nuclear-apocalypse setting and stuff. Wheee.

The question this brings up is, though, do I want other authors to outdo Tolkien? Or do I just take sick pleasure in seeing them fail? I guess there's a little of both. Just as supporting democracy in the Middle East, free global trade, and so on are founded on the bittersweet notion that we don't at all mind seeing some other country become better and achieve more than the US does, as long as it's dedicated to the principle of individual freedom and democracy, even at the expense of American jobs and power-- I suppose if someone actually did develop a world that was as richly rendered as Tolkien's, and gained as much of a devoted following, to the point where journalistic testimonials on the dust jackets of new entrants into the field started invoking that name instead of saying The best blahblah since Tolkien... well, bully for him, then.

However, I haven't seen it happen yet. A look at the quotes on Jordan's dust jackets tells me everything I need to know.


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