g r o t t o 1 1

Peeve Farm
Breeding peeves for show, not just to keep as pets
Brian Tiemann
Silicon Valley-based purveyor of a confusing mixture of Apple punditry and political bile.

btman at grotto11 dot com

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InstaPundit
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Little Green Footballs
As the Apple Turns
Entropicana
Cold Fury
Capitalist Lion
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Eric S. Raymond
Tal G in Jerusalem
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Saturday, July 17, 2004
14:15 - Guinan, report to Airlock B
http://www.capitalistlion.com/article.cgi?1094

(top) link
Sometimes comedy just writes itself.

CapLion has the scoop: Whoopi Goldberg has been dropped from her SlimFast endorsement because lots of SlimFast customers wrote and called in to complain about her embarrassingly crude anti-Bush comedy routine a little while ago (that John Kerry giddily attended, naturally).

Predictably enough, Whoopi concluded that this textbook case of free market expression amounts to the suppression of free speech:

"The fact that I am no longer the spokesman for SlimFast makes me sad, but not as sad as someone trying to punish me for exercising my right as an American to speak my mind."

Just for reference, Whoopi, here's the right you have as an American to speak your mind:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

I'm sure that with your empathic powers, you can not only tell when the Enterprise is a ship of peace and not a ship of war, but also that the First Amendment guarantees that a private corporation that hires you for endorsement work is not allowed to terminate your contract when you make public statements that offend that corporation's customers and cause them to switch to competitors' products.

All well and good so far, right? All neatly following the script? "The President sucks! Now give me my money!" "No! You're scaring away our customers!" "Eeeee! You're crushing my dissent!" We've all heard it before. Nothing new here, right?

Here's where it really starts inducing the giggles:

Diversity promoter Asa Khalif, who has made headlines for accusing celebrities of insensitivity, cried foul in the Goldberg firing. "I smell racism from beginning to end," said Khalif, head of Racial Unity USA in Pennsylvania. "SlimFast must realize that black women have every right to voice their views."

I get it. Now it's because she's black. Now, all of a sudden, Whoopi Goldberg, the most successful and famous African-American comedienne of all time, is the victim of racism. She's been fired by SlimFast for being black and opinionated. See, 'cause if she had been white and SlimFast had fired her for her comments, Mr. "Diversity Promoter" would have been just peachy-keen with developments, right?

And if Whoopi had been fired by, say, Ben & Jerry's for voicing pro-Bush views, I'm sure Mr. Khalif would be pounding the podium and yelling that she was fired because she's black, right?

My God. Does this stuff defy parody, or what?


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