g r o t t o 1 1

Peeve Farm
Breeding peeves for show, not just to keep as pets
Brian Tiemann
Silicon Valley-based purveyor of a confusing mixture of Apple punditry and political bile.

btman at grotto11 dot com

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Thursday, November 13, 2003
11:24 - How To Do It
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/news/archive/2003/11/12/national0350

(top) link
Wesley Clark's going to show us all up by catching Osama bin Laden.

Alan: Hello children!

Jackie: Hello!

Wesley: Hello!

GC: Hello!

Alan: Well, last week we showed you how to be a gynaecologist, and this week on "How to do it", we're gonna learn how to play the flute, how to split the atom, how to construct box-girder bridges...

Jackie: Super!

Alan: ...and how to catch the notorious terrorist leader Osama bin Laden, but first here's Jackie to tell you how to rid the world of all known diseases.

Jackie: Hello Alan!

Alan: Hello Jackie!

Jackie: Well first of all, become a doctor and discover a marvellous cure for something and then, when the medical world really starts to take notice of you, you can jolly well tell them what to do and make sure they get everything right, so that there'll never be diseases anymore.

Alan: Thanks Jackie, that was great!

GC: Fantastic!

Alan: Now, how to play the flute. Well, you blow in one end and move your fingers up and down the outside.

GC: Great Alan! Now, we have Wesley, who will tell us how to catch Osama bin Laden!

Wesley: Right-- you talk to the Saudis, and you pressure them to jolly well help us out, and then we take their crack Saudi commandos to where Osama is hiding out on the Pakistani border and we run up and catch him!

GC: That's just wonderful, Wesley! Well, next week we'll be showing you how black and white people can live together in peace and harmony and Alan will be over in Moscow showing you how to reconcile the Russians and the Chinese. Till then, cheerio!

Alan: Bye!

Jackie: Bye bye!

Wesley: Bye!

GC: Bye!


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