g r o t t o 1 1

Peeve Farm
Breeding peeves for show, not just to keep as pets
Brian Tiemann
Silicon ValleyNew York-based purveyor of a confusing mixture of Apple punditry, political bile, and sports car rentals.

btman at grotto11 dot com

Read These Too:

InstaPundit
Steven Den Beste
James Lileks
Little Green Footballs
As the Apple Turns
Entropicana
Cold Fury
Capitalist Lion
Red Letter Day
Eric S. Raymond
Tal G in Jerusalem
Aziz Poonawalla
Corsair the Rational Pirate
.clue
Ravishing Light
Rosenblog
Cartago Delenda Est



Cars without compromise.





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Sunday, October 10, 2004
20:26 - Spammers for Bush

(top)
Okay, so it's not just anti-Bush moonbats sending out exhortations via spam. I just got one from these guys too.

Granted, this one is funny... and well-laid-out, and includes the company's full name and address and everything. Quite above-board, except it is spam.

So it still wins!

Saturday, October 9, 2004
04:16 - They're Back

(top)
Everybody rise! JibJab has released the sequel to "This Land": "Good To Be In D.C.". Just as well animated, just as well voiced and scored, and just as funny. They're selling them both on DVD, and have them available for $3 downloads.

These guys are goood.

Friday, October 8, 2004
22:16 - I can honestly say that was the best episode of "Impy & Chimpy" I've ever seen
http://www.thespoonsexperience.com/archives/003041.php#003041

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Good debate. Goooood debate. I do believe that InstaPundit reader is right: Bush does better when he can talk directly to his audience, and stomp around on the stage waving his arms, instead of having to stare out into the darkness at a camera lens.

Plus he had the benefit of the Duelfer Report, armed with which nobody could be expected to lose. I was gratified to see that Bush pounded on it after all, early on in the debate, in the Iraq segment (which he carried most convincingly, even though he had to defend admitting Iraq had no WMDs). He stopped short of explaining to everybody that France and Germany and Russia refused to join us because they were on the take from Saddam, because that would have been tantamount to severing diplomatic ties; but everything else, he did cover: Saddam was gaming the United Nations toward getting the sanctions lifted, upon which he'd be free to resume his WMD programs! Kerry didn't have much to fall back on but "Well, uh, we didn't have enough troops! So I'm going to call for more troops! And then pull them out!" and so on. Oh, and "I don't waffle. What could have ever given you that idea?"

I didn't see the first debate, but from all accounts this was a completely different ballgame. Bush didn't win on all counts (he screwed up a few things, like prescription drugs from Canada and Supreme Court justice appointments), but Kerry had nothing but tired economic statistics that can be turned on their heads by explaining them more fully, and threadbare appeals to "allies" that are getting more laughable by the day. Bush didn't let up on it, but Kerry kept yammering on like he hadn't heard a word.

I wish Bush had remembered about Australia, though, especially in that outburst where he interrupted the moderator. The Aussies ought to be first out the gate in some of these lists.

This is getting fun, though. "Need some wood?" Heee. Bush had it to spare.


16:08 - Solving the ID10T problem
http://www.whatithinkiknow.com/

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Damien has offered an excellent example of how to respond to someone who's convinced himself that anyone who disagrees with him is either evil or stupid.

At some point in life, you will come to respect others' points of view. Perhaps you will be convinced through personal experience, or through argument, or through simply coming to love someone with different viewpoints, in whom you are interested enough to listen and understand.

You're not an idiot, and neither am I. Yet we disagree, and this fact alone should compel you to give a little more thought and respect to the "other side". You gain nothing as a person by cocooning yourself in comfortable and unchallenged views - it is through interaction, understanding, and substantive argument that one becomes more enlightened. And, of course, experience.

Granted, if I were a high school student receiving a message like this, it would simply make me angry—I'd dismiss it as so much sanctimonious, word-twisting hoo-haw, because I'd still know I was right. One person disagreeing with me and my righteous beliefs? Pshaw.

But the seed would have been planted; so the next time something like this happened...

UPDATE: Somehow I doubt it would work on these people, though. They've grabbed up a degraded facsimile of the truth and run so far downfield that it's not worth even going after them.


11:05 - I can dream, can't I?
http://littlegreenfootballs.com/weblog/?entry=13044_Kerry-_Our_Moral_Leadership_is_N

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Kerry on Darfur:

WASHINGTON - Democrat presidential candidate John Kerry says he would not send U.S. forces to stop the genocide in Sudan if they continued to be needed in Iraq and Afghanistan.

“I’d do everything possible,” he said in a taped interview broadcast Thursday night on Black Entertainment Television, citing logistical support and money to help the African Union intervene in the Sudanese crisis.

Asked whether he’d send troops, Kerry said the United States would “have to be in a position in Iraq and Afghanistan” to allow that to happen. He said his options as president would be limited because President Bush has overextended U.S. forces.

“Our flexibility is less than it was,” he said. “Our moral leadership is not what it ought to be.”

You know what I'd love to see?

Once—just once—for any reporter interviewing Kerry to, at this point, say:

"Yes or no, please, sir."

Wouldn't that just be devastating?

Such a simple question, such a simple answer they're looking for: Assuming we had them available, would you send troops to Sudan? Yes or no? Just trying to find out whether he thinks it's something we should do or not. But no, the answer is a pointless ramble about Iraq and Afghanistan and Bush and moral leadership.

Yes or no, please, sir. Imagine what a sound bite that would make.

I guess we know what four years of Kerry press conferences will look like.


10:05 - Spammers For Kerry

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Now that's a constituency Kerry doesn't need. Some enterprising soul has taken to emitting an anti-Bush tract via spam. I've received about nine copies of it so far:

From: GEORGE W. BUSH <pndxqzfk@yz.com>
Subject: I approve this message
Date: October 8, 2004 6:29:05 AM PDT
To: undisclosed-recipients:;

PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004


EXPERIENCE AND EDUCATION

Law Enforcement:
I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under
the influence of alcohol. I pleaded guilty, paid a fine, and had
my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving
record has been "lost" and is not available.

Military:
I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused
to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use.
By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid
combat duty in Vietnam.

College:
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was
a cheerleader.

. . .

...Blah, blah, blah.

It's all canards and innuendoes (with whatever fragments of truth mixed in as could be found), and nothing we haven't heard before. But it's being spewed scattershot across the Internet now, using the same low-budget means of delivery that spam has always benefited from.

I suppose it shouldn't surprise me, given what other tactics are being increasingly employed of late by those convinced that another four years of Bush will cause the planet to explode, or whatever. But I have to wonder: will the number of people potentially swayed by this message be greater than the number of people utterly pissed-off at being told what to think politically by a piece of spam nestled in between the "The original HGH Longevity from Germany" and "Get Ciälis Välium Ambinën 62% Off Retäil" missives?

Thursday, October 7, 2004
16:26 - They Know Stuff
http://abcnews.go.com/wire/US/ap20041007_295.html

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Behold the artistic glories of our intellectual betters:

It didn't take a nuclear physicist to realize changes were needed after a $40,000 ceramic mural was unveiled outside the city's new library and everyone could see the misspelled names of Einstein, Shakespeare, Vincent Van Gogh, Michelangelo and seven other historical figures.

"Our library director is very frustrated that she has this lovely new library and it has all these misspellings in front," said city councilwoman Lorraine Dietrich, one of three council members who voted Monday to authorize paying another $6,000, plus expenses, to fly the artist up from Miami to fix the errors.

Sweet deal, huh? Maybe it was all part of the plan. Maybe this artiste is a mad genius.

Reached at her Miami studio Wednesday by The Associated Press, Maria Alquilar said she was willing to fix the brightly colored 16-foot-wide circular work, but offered no apologizes for the 11 misspellings among the 175 names.

"The importance of this work is that it is supposed to unite people," Alquilar said. "They are denigrating my work and the purpose of this work."

...Okay, perhaps not. She's just a Moore-pattern freak.

The mistakes wouldn't even register with a true artisan, Alquilar said.

"The people that are into humanities, and are into Blake's concept of enlightenment, they are not looking at the words," she said. "In their mind the words register correctly."
True artists aren't bound by such inane concepts as spelling, y'see. This work, It is actually a commentary on our shallow society with its fixation on being "correct" or "accurate" or "true". A pox on the pedants who would question such a work of genius as this!

What utter, astonishing gall. That'd better be some frickin' mural, if they're still willing to give this Being of Ephemeral Light six extra grand to fix these mistakes.

Via Brian D. And apologies to Tim Blair for lifting his subject line; it's a meme that should be free, Tim! Fie on your corporate fat-cat "copyright" and "property"!

UPDATE: How did I know her "murals" would look like this? Sigh.

You've got to catch these people in the act or they'll never learn.

Thanks to Corsair, who has more on this moron.

UPDATE: Kimberly Swygert appears to have the definitive roundup of this matter, including the fact that this incoherent master of ugly art with an overinflated sense of ego is a former schoolteacher. I'm not sure which word surprises me less: schoolteacher, or former...


15:11 - Let me hammer him today
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6168202/#041007

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So now the Duelfer Report is out, which despite headlines by mainstream media outlets fixated on perpetuating the idea that Bush somehow "lied" about WMDs, now firmly establishes a number of very uncomfortable conclusions for those who have placed all their chips on the BUSH LIED!!! side of the table.

Not only were Saddam's WMD programs evidently quite well poised for a resumption at any time, that resumption was confidently expected—by Saddam—to occur hot on the heels of the sanctions being dropped by the UN, whose French and Russian and German delegates he had been sweetly bribing for years toward the end of keeping the Americans off his back.

Glenn Reynolds has been keeping this front and center:

SADDAM HUSSEIN believed he could avoid the Iraq war with a bribery strategy targeting Jacques Chirac, the President of France, according to devastating documents released last night.

Memos from Iraqi intelligence officials, recovered by American and British inspectors, show the dictator was told as early as May 2002 that France - having been granted oil contracts - would veto any American plans for war. . . .

Saddam was convinced that the UN sanctions - which stopped him acquiring weapons - were on the brink of collapse and he bankrolled several foreign activists who were campaigning for their abolition. He personally approved every one.

To keep America at bay, he focusing on Russia, France and China - three of the five UN Security Council members with the power to veto war. Politicians, journalists and diplomats were all given lavish gifts and oil-for-food vouchers.

Tariq Aziz, the former Iraqi deputy prime minister, told the ISG that the "primary motive for French co-operation" was to secure lucrative oil deals when UN sanctions were lifted. Total, the French oil giant, had been promised exploration rights.

And what did Saddam bribe the French and Russian diplomats with? Why, that ten billion dollars that went missing from the Oil-For-Food scheme, that was supposed to pay for Iraqis' food and medicine.

In exchange for which the French and Russians and Germans pledged Saddam that they'd do everything in their power to prevent the Americans from taking him out.

Sound to you like someone that would have jumped on board with us if only we'd spent a little more time haggling at the UN, like Kerry says he would have done?

Sound to you like someone we would want to get involved in the Iraq reconstruction, or who would agree to do so even if we did, as Kerry plans to ask them to?

Sound to you like anyone whose opinions on this matter we should be taking any more seriously than we did Saddam's?

This is far uglier than any simple "smoking gun". This is exactly what Steven Den Beste suggested, last January, sick at heart, might in our darkest dreams be at the core of the controversy:

Suppose we win, which is absolutely certain.

And suppose, once we've done so, and have occupied Iraq and have full (really full, not UN full) access to Iraq's records and can truly find what they have, that we find that everything we've been saying about their WMDs is really true; that they have chem and bio weapons and banned delivery systems, and are near to developing nukes, which I also think is extremely likely.

One more and the most important: suppose that the records also show that during the 1990's companies in France or Germany (or both) actively and deliberately broke the sanctions and sold equipment and supplies to Iraq which helped it to create these things, and that the governments of Germany and France knew and approved of this and actively helped. That's the biggest and most speculative suppose.

. . .

If they (Chirac and Schröder) know that they face the scenario I described above after we invade, that would definitely explain their behavior, because preventing Anglo-American occupation of Iraq is the only conceivable way they could prevent it. If this is the case, then since no other way exists to avoid this fate and since the consequences of it are dreadful, it would make sense to continue the lost cause of trying to prevent our attack.

So the more they persist even as it becomes ever more hopeless, the more I find myself worrying that they are trying to cover up something really, really big.

Only the French and Russians weren't even doing business with Saddam, which would have been bad enough. They were taking bribes from Saddam, bribes funded by humanitarian aid money paid for by Iraqi oil and stolen by Saddam and ignored by UN officials, and accepting promises that in the future they'd be right at the top of Saddam's buddy list, in the on-deck circle to drill a bunch of new wells and secure their own private oil stash with which to become a new European superpower independent of American influence.

If that isn't the absolute lowest of lows, I don't know what could top it. I mean, at least Hitler was honest about what he was doing. At least we knew Saddam was a dictator of a Stalinist police state. But these guys? They must have known what these actions were doing to innocent Iraqis, and where they would fit on the totem pole of morality if ever called to account; but apparently, through soothing diplo-speak and polysyllabic euphemisms, they managed to convince themselves that what they were doing was excusable, even justifiable. These guys are the Zyklon-B manufacturers, the guys who built the ovens, the contractors laying the pipe. They knew what they were doing, they could have opted out, but... all in a day's work, right? A buck's a buck.

What a perfect picture of the post-modern, post-human "world beyond morality". Nothing is right or wrong anymore; it's all just a mathematical equation, a cynical calculation which either comes out positive or negative. What a great illustration of the Earth we stand to inherit once we're all dispassionate, scientific apostles to reason. It'll kill a hundred thousand people? Well, yeah, but it'll also make us billions of euros. Can't make an omelette without breaking oeufs.

Remember when we blamed huge corporations for thinking like this?

I guess that's what happens when you run your country like a corporation, with a board of directors and several thousand employees and a few million shareholders. Complete with a corporate logo and a brand identity. And market penetration statistics.

So this really isn't any worse than what we most darkly suspected, but it's still infuriating to see it right there in black and white—and yet to see some people still stubbornly taking the side of these slughearted villains, pledging to the kid with his hand stuck in the cookie jar that we'll reward him with all the cookies he can eat. We know they'll doggedly fight to the bitter end, because nothing's worth changing one's mind for—not even new facts coming to light. But by rights, John Kerry's entire case for the Presidency, centered now around Iraq's missing WMDs and the holy blessing of France and Russia and the UN, now revealed as Saddam's boot-licking, wholly-owned accomplices, ought to wither and die overnight.

But it won't. Not unless Bush is willing to hammer on this with every breath in his body from now until Election Day.

As Dean Esmay says, in his own comments:

If Bush cannot make the point, then he deserves to lose.

Yup. If he's too squeamish to point the finger of moral righteousness squarely in the faces of those who need to be on its receiving end, then he's apparently not bothered by being mistaken for just another accomplice. He did take out Saddam, yes... he did put his money where his mouth was, and his gun is now loaded again. But he'd better not get cold feet now that he has perfect license to pull the trigger.

Wednesday, October 6, 2004
13:13 - Whittle's election essay
http://www.ejectejecteject.com/archives/000107.html

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Looks like Bill was up late writing this; seems it was worth it:

We don’t want [9/11] to happen again.

We want to deter it from happening again.

And all of this rage and fury and spitting and tearing up of signs, all of these insults and spinmeisters and forgeries and all the rest, seem to come down to the fact that about half the country thinks you deter this sort of thing by being nice, while the other half thinks you deter this by being mean.

Exactly. See the MoveOn.org post below about how they want to spin the debate: Cheney was mean, so he sucks. Edwards was warm and charming and nice, so he rules.

Maybe if we were fighting bunny-rabbits or fields of sunflowers or an invasion of Darth Vaders that feed on wrath and hatred and use it to grow ever stronger.

But not if we're fighting people who laugh at our "tolerance" and call us weak and subhuman for it. It's not by being nicer that they'll change their minds and become nice in return. These aren't Pokémon villains; they're the reincarnations of the Nazis and the imperial Japanese, and there's only one way to deal with such people.

Once upon a time we understood that.

UPDATE: Oh, and he also covers what I and Matteo had been writing about: what is Bush's game plan? Why hasn't he told us about it? Why are we the ones tasked with keeping his September 20, 2001 speech's fire burning?

UPDATE: It's rather spooky how closely today's rather excellent Bush speech echoes Bill's essay in places.

If Americans can understand how the MAD doctrine kept the world from getting nuked, they can grasp how it's more important and effective to deter people who come from a completely different universe than to please people who are already from ours.


13:03 - Mac OS Xbox
http://www.cc.gatech.edu/~ranma1/mac_install.html

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Wow. OS X on an Xbox.

Via Steven, who says, "Why? Why? Why would anyone DO this?"

Beats me, but I'll bet Edmund Hillary could tell you...

UPDATE: Bah! I knew I was putting my foot into it, there. It was George Mallory who said the bit about climbing a mountain because it was there. Thanks to Paul for setting me straight.


11:28 - That's some ironclad testimony right there

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Here's MoveOn.org's mass mailing in response to the Cheney-Edwards debate, which most people seem to be describing as a Cheney win:

Dear MoveOn member,

We're on a roll. In last night's vice presidential debate, Dick Cheney was angry, misleading and petulant; Edwards took him on with warmth, clarity and the facts. CBS News reported this morning that Edwards "continued the Democratic ticket's winning streak," beating Cheney by 13 percentage points in a post-debate poll of uncommitted voters.[1]

Again and again, Cheney tried to mislead the public about the war in Iraq and our economic problems here at home. He even claimed that he’d never met Edwards before when he had, in public, twice. But John Edwards wouldn't let him get away with it: when Cheney tried once again to link al Qaeda and 9/11, Edwards said, "Mr. Vice President, you are still not being straight with the American people," and explained that there was absolutely no connection. We've compiled a bunch more of these misleads -- and the facts -- below. And we captured that strong rebuttal on tape: you can check it out at www.moveonpac.org.

The problem is that Cheney lies with utter conviction, so for some of the folks who are just tuning in to the presidential contest, it's difficult to tell who was fabricating and who was telling the truth. But if we all just take one of Cheney's false statements listed below and write to our local paper about it, we can debunk Cheney's distortions and demonstrate Edwards' commitment to the truth.

Never mind all the rebuttals to those "explanations", like about Iraq/al Qaeda, that followed from Cheney. Those facts don't count. But, hey, it's not like MoveOn.org is interested in being rigorous with its methods here. Who do we think they are, FactCheck.org?

Man, I ache to see what these people mail out on November 3rd.

UPDATE: By the way, here's some more important information about Halliburton you should know.

Tuesday, October 5, 2004
22:58 - Voting with one's guts
http://www.deanesmay.com/posts/1097037348.shtml

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You know, I keep telling myself that I have better reasons to vote for George W. Bush than to prevent these people's tactics from paying off.

But, well, some days it's the only one that matters.

UPDATE: See, because there's a word for people who do this sort of thing: terrorists.

Vote Bush, or the terrorists win.


17:36 - Rope-A-Century
http://cartagodelenda.blogspot.com/2004/10/what-is-bushs-game.html

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Matteo at Cartago Delenda Est is another Silicon Valley blogger with a beleaguered-conservative bent (and a very attractive site to boot); a couple of days ago he posted some interesting thoughts about what Bush may be up to in this election season, and indeed throughout his term:

Think about it. Bush does not run a 24/7 media war machine or “permanent campaign” like Clinton did (and the Dems and MSM still do). A victory for him via such methods is not a victory at all, for himself, or the country. During his presidency he has held back. The result? It’s staring us all in the face right now. Look at the Blogosphere. Look at the renaissance of discussion, analysis, and just plain thinking that is taking place. This is politics at the “grass roots”. This is engagement, this is involvement, this is a revolution!

I was just thinking about this the other day, actually. What has he held, twelve press conferences since 2000? Part of what's so befuddling about this whole political football game that's been raging since we saw the smoking towers on TV and wondered just what the anchorpeople meant when they said this changes everything is that the level of vitriol raised against the Bush administration has gone so stunningly unchecked. How many baseless accusations against him has Bush seen fit to go on TV to refute? Why has he not given any evening addresses to defend his National Guard service? Why hasn't he explained the role of Halliburton in Iraq, giving historical context and industry statistics describing why they have the contracts they do, and just how tenuously their fortunes are connected with Cheney's? Why, for Pete's sake, hasn't he thought it necessary to explain the overall long-term strategy of the War on Terror to the American people? And how much grief and approval points could he have saved himself if only he had? If this were the Clinton era, or even the Reagan era, there'd be an explicit Administration line on every controversy of the day. There'd be no chance for anyone to write up a sign calling the president Hitler, much less convene a 150,000-strong protest in San Francisco, because he'd have taken the stage on day three to dispense a carefully worded rationale for any action that anyone might find objectionable.

That hasn't happened this Presidential term. Like, at all. And this is supposed to be a fascist dictatorship, remember, where we're all told what to think on a daily basis.

So there's next to no defense coming out of the White House for any of the actions that anyone has attacked it for, from not signing Kyoto to being in bed with the Saudis to supposedly cutting veterans' benefits to the entire strategy of the Global War on Terror, including Iraq and future political and/or military steps involved therewith. The Administration has just gone about its business, going through all the proper legislative and procedural channels and all, but leaving the American populace curiously out of the loop. And who's been left to pick up the slack here? Well, who did I just link to several times? Bloggers. Random people on the Internet with a penchant for being thoughtful and long-winded. Average Joes have taken up the task of defending the President's agenda, because he doesn't seem to have any interest in doing so himself. They've been doing the research, spending the money, and putting in the tireless effort to propound rationales and defenses for Bush that the President doesn't seem to want to issue himself—and that are, for all the analysis behind them, mostly guesses. Why is that the new standard for discourse over our nation's committed direction? Is it a good thing or a bad thing? I mean, what the hell kind of President is it who says not a single word in response when a local headquarters of his re-election campaign is sprayed with bullets?

You'd think that with the tone of the anti-Bush slogans rising in a seemingly endless crescendo, unchecked, unchalleged, there would eventually come a time when the charges the Left raises would have to be answered. But Bush isn't doing so, not even in the debates. He's backing off of the tough questions, not going for the easy kill. It's like he doesn't even care about defending his actions. We don't even know why. It could be because he doesn't believe in his own agenda himself. It could be because he sees the criticism to be a completely meaningless distraction. Or it could be because of some ingenious plan to empower individual Americans by inducting them into the political process on a completely populist level, leaving himself completely open to attack because he knows that some people will see the method in what he's doing and take it upon themselves to be his banner-bearers, voluntarily and on their own recognizance, painstakingly building up their own credibility as they go.

This last possibility seems freakishly remote. But there was once a time when we believed our government was easily capable of such intricate and century-long-lasting social engineering projects, wasn't there? Remember the CIA of the 60s? The Pinkertons? NASA? The thick-rimmed-glasses-wearing spooks to whom the guy from A Beautiful Mind reported? That's not completely gone today, is it? We know how dunderheaded the FBI has become... or is that just what they want us to think?

I don't even know what the most likely explanation for this phenomenon is; all I know is that it's extremely strange, and a little bit unnerving. It certainly explains why people like Michael Moore exist and are so popular, and yet have such an amazing lack of an irony gland as to claim their dissenting opinions are being crushed by an overbearing government enforcing a party line. The reality is so unbelievably far in the opposite direction, with near-silence coming from the White House even when it's under the fiercest attack, that it's easy to imagine that something sinister must be going on. What else can explain it?

Occam's Razor would tend to tell me that this silence isn't complete disinterest nor an intricately orchestrated conspiracy; I think it's mostly just extreme discipline and focus on the job at hand, and a refusal to involve the White House in the quagmire of the scurrilous charges raised against it, because to answer them would be to legitimize them. Even that possibility seems a bit far-fetched, though. Certainly it seems as though ignoring the Moores of the world hasn't made them go away, and so the strategy may have backfired.

I hope it's not too late. It's possible for the White House to have restored too much dignity, I suppose.

By the way, Matteo has a couple of other posts—here and here—that discuss the ins and outs of running a GOP voter-registration table in Silicon Valley. Maybe showing restraint in responding to insults is a systemic feature after all...

Monday, October 4, 2004
16:02 - "He's killed people"
http://www.thnt.com/thnt/story/0,21282,1068611,00.html

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Wow. Via Corsair comes this charming little story of crushed dissent. South Brunswick, NJ? I was just there this weekend:

Pillai-Diaz, 33, a volunteer with the Bush campaign and an English teacher, has had a publicity picture of the First Couple hanging in her classroom since the start of the school year, she said.

The photo became an issue last week.

Parents e-mailed an assistant principal accusing Pillai-Diaz of suppressing free speech because the teacher refused to talk to pupils about why the color photo hung in the room.

"Students said, 'You like George Bush? He's killed people,' " Pillai-Diaz said. "As a rule I don't talk about my politics in the classroom."

Which you have to say these days if you're a teacher. If you don't want to lose your job, you'd better be prepared to explain yourself if you put a picture of the President up in your classroom. Or else cower and plead that it's not meant as a political statement.

This is about as close as it gets these days to the old stereotypical gym coach/civics teacher who would make you memorize the preamble to the Constitution or do thirty push-ups. I'm not convinced that this is an improvement.

Meanwhile, Michael Moore gets to post on his website about his gleeful plans for Fahrenheit 9/11 DVDs to be pirated and sent to American soldiers in Iraq so that they'll become demoralized and die and thus come home sooner... and nobody bats an eye. Indeed, they give him gold statues for it. For what in an earlier age might have been called something as gauche as giving aid and comfort to the enemy in time of war.

Pillai-Diaz told the assistant principal to take the picture down himself. Then she sought Principal Jim Warfel, who gave her an upbraiding.

"He said, 'You've caused more disruption, hatred and anger than anyone I've ever known,' " she said.

The teacher said the principal told her to "get out," so she left and headed to the South Brunswick Police Department.

That's hatred for ya. Putting up a picture of the President in your classroom. That's what gets a teacher fired these days.

I wonder what the school would say about posters of Mao or Che?

No, I don't either.

UPDATE: God... this makes it even worse:

The White House-issued photo of the Bushes was pinned to a bulletin board that held portraits of George Washington, Benjamin Franklin and a copy of the Constitution.

"I wouldn't touch politics in my classroom with a 10-foot pole, but [the principal] felt I was making a political statement," said Shiba Pillai-Diaz, 33, a seventh- and eighth-grade English teacher at Crossroads South Elementary School in Monmouth Junction.

"It was meant to be a picture of the current president, nothing partisan about it," said Pillai-Diaz, a Republican mother of one who volunteered at the party's convention in Madison Square Garden.

The principal et al. are trying to get her to either take down the photo, or add a photo of John Kerry. They want to shift the point of the photo from the fact that Bush is the sitting President, to the controversy of the coming election.

She's considering this President to be a part of U.S. history, just like every other President. The people asking her to take the photo down, however, seem to be trying to erase him from history. To turn his term into a memory, and to define him only in terms of being the guy running against Kerry. To transform him into something temporary and fleeting, like Prohibition.

To say nothing of that making it into a Bush/Kerry thing would force her to have the in-class debate, which she clearly doesn't want to do. I think she's simply shocked that putting up a picture of the President in a public school classroom these days is something you have to justify, or explain, or discuss... or defend.

Thanks to Kenny B. for the link.


11:33 - "The Navy didn't send Republicans to Vietnam; they sent men."
http://www.deanesmay.com/posts/1096905911.shtml

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Dean Esmay managed to get a lengthy phone interview with Van Odell, a gunner's mate from John Kerry's unit and member of the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth. He asked questions that commenters had suggested, and really drove to the heart of the matter in a lot of key areas.

DW: If President Bush were to publicly call for your group to pull its ads and to stop campaigning against Senator Kerry, would you stop?

VO: No. No. No. We're not part of the Republican party, we're not trying to elect Bush, we're Democrats and independents and Republicans across the board. The Navy didn't send Republicans to Vietnam, they sent men.

All 60 of our group who served with Kerry in Vietnam, and the others who served there and have joined us, we want the American people to hear our story. Personally, I also want this story to be known to historians....

We're not tied to any campaign. We're a group of private citizens who've formed a 527. We're going to tell our truth to the American people up until November 2nd. We don't want his lies recorded as truth in the history books.

This is about as classy as a campaign to attack an individual person can ever be expected to be.

After all, we've all seen what their counterparts on the other side look like...

Saturday, October 2, 2004
23:47 - Go Team Venture!
http://www.scrotalsafetycommission.com/

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Behold the glory that is the extent to which Venture Brothers rocks.

This link (which is probably not safe for work, though nobody felt the need to add that caveat in the show) is featured as a plot point in the episode aired tonight. And of course they got the domain and, uh, fleshed it out appropriately.

UPDATE: View the source. Scroll to the bottom.

Thanks to Keith & Fred for catching that. I looked, but I neglected to scroll...


22:49 - This time it was right, it would work, and nobody would have to get nailed to anything
http://www.triroc.com/wtc/

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Now that is more like it.

I sure hope it isn't too late for this to get pitched for real.

Friday, October 1, 2004
23:02 - It's even more so by day

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A few more random New York thoughts, after another day's worth of experiences...

Driving in the city is an adventure indeed, but it's really not that bad. Parking is even less heinously expensive than I was led to expect. See, movies and TV had shown me that all of New York's streets—the ones in Times Square in particular—were perpetually jammed with unmoving traffic, bumper to bumper and honking ceaselessly, and made up almost entirely of endless streams of taxis, private cars being all but unheard-of on the city streets. Well, now I know that the reality is quite a bit different. At any given moment, Times Square is full of a lot more people than cars. That goes for pretty much the whole part of the city that I've seen thus far: pedestrians rule the roads, which is really the major thing cars have to watch out for. Eight million people is a lot to be out and about on the sidewalks, and they've all come to know the patterns of the traffic signals down to a finely tuned science. They know exactly when a light's about to go yellow, at which time it's okay to start barreling across; and they know that as soon as one person starts the trek, you're safe to do so as well, because most cars will defer by politely hitting the brakes before they run you over, even if they have the green. (The notable exception is if a big-rig truck ends up wedged the wrong way down an alley or something and has to be backed up with the aid of several harried handlers directing foot traffic and telling the truck driver to just floor it and not worry about the idiots crossing behind him. I saw this twice, and it was fascinating enough in the first place just to imagine big-rigs in Manhattan at all. But there they were.) The sidewalks are an unrivalled exercise in high-speed collision avoidance, and one learns very quickly how to move in and out of the flow, where its eddies and currents are, and so on.

I discovered one interesting effect of having an iPod: with headphones in your ears, you give the impression of being a local—why, you're confident enough in your knowledge of the streets that you're listening to music!—which exempts you from a lot of the free tickets to comedy clubs or Falun Gong awareness flyers that people would otherwise try to press into your hands. I wondered if this, perhaps, was what accounted for the fact that I saw some three dozen iPod People walking around today alone; but on every one of these people, representing all walks of life, those telltale white earbuds led to an actual iPod held in the hand or on the belt. I swear, I have never seen so many iPods. I'd thought CapLion had to have been exaggerating when he told me how many New Yorkers had them, but he was dead-on right. Perhaps even more usefully telling is that among those people who had earbuds or headphones leading to music players of any type, the iPods outnumbered all others (chiefly disc-based players) about three to one, or perhaps more. I've never seen anything like that ratio, in any other city. Welcome to New York; here's your iPod.

Now, I might be getting a somewhat distorted picture of the city as a city, by basing my impressions of it on Times Square; but what has struck me hardest of all about it is that while the throngs of people milling through the sidewalks are quick-moving, brusque and businesslike, and while there are plenty of street artists and musicians and people selling framed art from stands on sidewalks, I didn't see a single panhandler—and, indeed, only one homeless person. I constantly felt hurried, but I never once felt nervous for my safety or that of my various possessions. This would be unheard-of in, say, San Francisco on Market Street, the closest parallel I can think of. Similarly, at midnight the sidewalks become lined with piles of garbage bags as the curbside restaurants finish cleaning up from the night of business, open up the trap-door in the sidewalk, and toss out the day's trash; but during the daylight hours, the area around Times Square has got to be one of the cleanest big-city areas I've seen. Especially considering the sheer vast number of people that pass through it on any given afternoon. The fact that the sidewalks and gutters aren't filled to overflowing with eddying soda cups and hot dog napkins turns my every preconception on its head. I'm really very impressed, and whoever can be credited with turning Times Square into this well-balanced a high-revving machine deserves accolades.

The kid who worked the ticket line for The Lion King confided tongue-in-cheekily in me and a Canadian couple behind me that the theater had put him in that job because he's so naturally anti-social; as a native New Yorker, when he says Thank you, and have a nice day to a departing customer, he's really saying I hope I never see you again; have a shitty day! We all chuckled, and I pointed out that we'd have to bear that in mind for all future occasions when service-industry people said that to us. But I never got such a vibe from anyone I encountered; from parking attendants to Jamba Juice employees to waiters, everybody seemed far more laid-back and easygoing than I was expecting. I even got into a little impromptu verbal sparring with a toll-booth operator at the Lincoln Tunnel who ended up laughing uproariously as he counted my change back to me. And I never once heard 'Ey! I'm walkin' heeah! in all my travels.

(And yes, the actual original Broadway production of The Lion King is notably better in just about all regards than either of the two other versions of it I've seen, in Toronto and in San Francisco. The actors put way more elaboration into their performances, and the sets are a good deal more involved—mostly just because since these guys have been doing it the longest, they've got every last move down to its quintessence and know just how to time things. Even when the cast isn't having their most "on" night, it's still as good a show as it gets. ...Next time I do this, I'll make sure to have plenty of advance, so I can get into a showing of Avenue Q.)

We saw Thoth in Central Park, playing his violin under a bridge. I'd seen him a couple of times before, once at a convention in LA and again at a Pride Parade in San Francisco. This was his natural habitat, and he looked at home in it.

Back to the subject of driving: the road system, particularly in the environs leading into the city, is so tangled from so many years of evolution that it's a wonder any of it has any consistency at all. There's a kind of disorienting nature to the circulating exit ramps that wind around the tool plazas, and to all the expressways with their "jug-handle" turn lanes (which turn out to work pretty sensibly, as a matter of fact) and their left-hand exits that make it impossible to simply sit in a lane and turn your brain off the way I'm used to in California. I now realize how spoiled we are out West: signage is austere, consistent, predictable; exit lanes are leisurely, always on the right, always giving you plenty of warning. Here, you've always got to be on your toes, lest the fast-lane on the left suddenly turn into an exit that leaps off a skyway bridge into Weehawken or Rahway or some other such quaintly named town, with nary a "San" or "Santa" or "Los" to be seen. I took Highway 1 back from the city tonight instead of the Turnpike, to avoid the tolls as well as to get a better view of what New Jersey looked like at street level. It's far from the industrial wasteland I'd been led to believe it was; it's quaint and charming, and you'll never fall asleep while careening down those narrow lanes trying to keep your place in line and avoid being peeled off into some exit to a town with a Chaucer-esque name that you had no intention of visiting.

Tomorrow I hit the Upper East Side for lunch at a recommended restaurant, then over to JFK to see what all the fuss over JetBlue is about. And then it's back to the wide open spaces and modestly two-story-at-most business districts of San Jose, which is going to look one hell of a lot different to me now.

The various regions of the country may be growing more similar with time; but there's still plenty of distance to go yet, and the remaining differences are so well-established and cherished by the respective locals that they'll probably be with us a long time yet. Thank goodness.

Thursday, September 30, 2004
00:19 - Back in one piece

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Guess what the in-flight movie was on the way up to Newark? The Day After Tomorrow.

After that set of images, laughable even if I weren't seeing them on an eight-inch screen ten feet away, was hardly sufficient to prepare me for what the real, intact, non-snow-drowned Manhattan would look like.

Driving down the West Side Highway along the water's edge from the George Washington Bridge, the overwhelming feeling I had was: frickin' unbelievable. Some cities, and I've been in a lot of big ones, make pretense of being in the same class as New York; but there's just no comparison. We're talking about an island that's wall-to-wall skyscrapers, from river to river. Every block of Manhattan is as tall and as dense as the downtown of any other city. I drove in to the parking garage a couple of blocks from Times Square, and though pictures really don't do it justice, here's one anyway:



Whatever it may have been in the past, Times Square is a theme park today, an unabashed showcase of the advertiser's art—an anti-capitalist's nightmare, the kind of thing to make scruffy bearded college sophomores clutch their faces and melt, shrieking, like the guy in Raiders of the Lost Ark. And as CapLion says, who met me there, the city's just, well, like that: it's constantly changing, always being reinvented and reimagined by each successive wave of visitors and residents. You can leave for a weekend, come back, and find that something has changed. A building has a new façade, or a bar has moved down the street, or the Times Square billboards have all been rearranged, or the Chevy's is now a Virgin Superstore...



...Or.

It's hard to know what to feel, seeing this for the first time, first-hand. It's in a state now where the impact, especially for someone who hasn't even been here recently enough to really remember what it once looked like, is dulled to the point of guilt by the neatness of the trappings, the shiny fencing devoid of memorials except for a few scattered flowers pinned to the bars, the crisp new PATH train station with an acre of spotless underground halogen-lit concrete parkland, and the inspirational messages of rebuilding and remembering and celebrating diversity and so on plastering the walls. There's a kiosk at the entrance to the station with info on the Freedom Tower, whose foundations are currently being begun in the pit that now looks like nothing so much as a benign construction site. And, well, I've got to agree with Mr. Lion who says that the ideal solution, for him, would have been to build the towers back exactly as they had been... except ten feet higher.

It's not just a psychological thing, either. This isn't San Diego, where they go out of their way to make the skyline out of buildings with significant non-90-degree elements, where buildings like the Freedom Tower and the attendant Libeskind quartz fragments wouldn't look out of place. This is New York. It's a city that, more than any other I've seen, is built of grids: firm, solid, rectilinear patterns that supported each other as they built themselves up over each other's shoulders, culminating in those two huge impenetrable blocks at the south end. Now that I've walked the streets, I know why the WTC looked the way it did: it's because Manhattan itself, the street plan, is built like a skyscraper. Tall, narrow, rectangular; the avenues the sturdy columns, the streets the lissom cross-pieces, Broadway the diagonal brace holding it all steady, and all of it anchored in a tangled root-ball of concrete in the financial district, the Village, SoHo, and everything south of Little Italy where we ate at Lombardi's, the First Pizza Place Ever (seriously, the very first pizzeria to open in the United States, the one against which all others have been subconsciously modeled, the one with the thick-cut slabs of fresh mozzarella instead of shredded cheese—mmm. But anyway...)

The Freedom Tower, in short, doesn't match anything else in Manhattan. There's nothing else around it that's diagonal, triangular, tapered, or (least of all) peters out halfway up to give way to a steel spiderweb that shams its way up to a prescribed height like the false head on an overevolved moth. It just doesn't make sense here. True, it may have been the least bad of the choices the Port Authority had to pick from; but none of the freakish postmodern proposals had the one crucial element a rebuilt WTC so desperately needed: to be more ambitious and audacious and businesslike and quintessentially New York than the original. No matter how many symbolic feet it attains at the height of its pinnacle, the Freedom Tower is going to always represent a sidelong cough and a muttered "Sorry—best we could do."

Ah well. I guess we'll get used to it. But I'm an out-of-towner, so my opinion isn't quite what I'd call "meaningful"—not in the way that one's would be who spent his whole life staring at those towers, knowing friends working high up in them, and then one day to have them erased from existence with only a gaping pit and a surgically-sterile PATH station to remember them by. I have no context by which to imagine that kind of loss, or the attendant need for justice to be done, or the inevitable frustration that the ones who carried it out are forever beyond the reach of our gavels or our fists. Mine's a loss in principle, a loss of an actor in the pop culture miasma that defines my consciousness, a loss that manifests itself in a need to reaffirm certain sureties about what this country stands for and how to fight for it. But it's all pretty empty compared to what someone would have gone through who now has to imagine those brick-paved streets buried under a foot of lung-shredding dust, every time he walks through them on the way from one mundane daily chore to the next.

But, well, I'm glad I at least got to see it for myself... I don't imagine I'll see it again while it still looks the way it does today. If New York is a microcosm of America at all—and it really is, I've got to say, as the first thing I thought when I exited the George Washington Bridge and got on the West Side Highway and saw the billboards and the names on the streets was no matter what Spalding Gray says, Manhattan is not just some island off the COAST of America; it IS America, all its commerce and energy and history all rolled into one sharp-edged gridwork that could serve as the seed for a whole new America if transplanted to another planet—then Lower Manhattan will be changed before we know it to another painting of glass and steel against the sky, and we'll have to consciously make time to reflect and remember, just as the signs exhort—because we have no time to pause or look back. There's work to do.

I've got more to see, tomorrow and part of Saturday. I haven't wrecked or lost the car yet, so I guess I'm ready for another go...


14:38 - But it's unfair to call him a flip-flopper
http://johnkerryads.websiteanimal.com/

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Hey, maybe tonight he'll suddenly, miraculously solidify his positions on everything from Iraq to Iraq and back again. But wouldn't that just be a shame for all the people with whom John Kerry currently agrees?

Via Dean Esmay.


13:02 - The Contrabulous Fabtraption of Professor Horatio Hufnagel (pictured, left)

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Mark sent me this picture:



...Which is really a hoot. But then he sent me a self-correction in the form of this page, which contains the photos from which the above picture was hoaxed.

You know, I've just got to say... if the Rather memos had been created by someone with even a fraction of the technical skill and sense of wit as the creator of this picture shows, we'd probably still not suspect any hijinks.

Doesn't that just go to show something or other about the spectacular ineptness of the actual forgers? It's mind-boggling, when you think about it.

Good think Fark.com isn't a 527 group. A potential risk to the nature of truth and fraud in the digital age, anyone? How lucky are we that the big examples of it thus far have been so foolish?

UPDATE: What on earth is wrong with these people? Guys, look, you don't have to keep trying to prove what bumbling muttonheads you are. We already know.

Wednesday, September 29, 2004
21:03 - Joyzie

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I'm posting from my hotel in New Jersey, where I'm staying as part of a work-sponsored visit to a customer site. I'm supposedly the "expert" on the software we hope they'll buy a lot of. I'm sure I can fake it. (Or at least I know where my lifelines are, if I need to call someone.)

This is my first trip to New York in over ten years; the last time, I wasn't old enough to really take it in properly. I've got a fellow-blogger friend to drop in on, though, so this promises to be as much an unexpected vacation as it is a business trip. I'll be sure to take in as much as I can. Broadway, the Met, Ground Zero... whatever's within walking and subway distance. (I've been lectured as to the folly of driving in the city.) I may also need to get a new CompactFlash card for my camera. They start at a gigabyte now? Ye gods.

But thanks to the magic of Wayport, I'll at least be tapped into the online IV. So if the world goes to hell, I'll not only be in the place where it's likeliest to happen, I'll be able to find out about it from the usual far-flung vantage points...

Tuesday, September 28, 2004
19:49 - Nearly as trusted as The Daily Show

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You know, after Rathergate, I'm never going to be able to watch this scene without breaking up in giggles:

Well, this reporter was...possibly a little hasty earlier and would like
to...reaffirm his allegiance to this country and its human president.
May not be perfect, but it's still the best government we have. For
now.
[notices "HAIL ANTS" sign taped up, tears it down]
Oh, yes, by the way, the spacecraft still in extreme danger, may not
make it back, attempting risky reentry, bla bla bla bla bla bla. We'll
see you after the movie.
-- Kent Brockman, backpedaling furiously,
"Deep Space Homer"

And yet those underground sugar mines still need slaves, Dan...

Monday, September 27, 2004
15:30 - What would you do for the Flying Car?
http://www.nytimes.com/2004/09/26/magazine/26FLYING.html?pagewanted=all&position=

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Egad. Sounds like some people are really getting aggressive about this.

''You can say our goal is to make the second car in every driveway a personal air vehicle,'' says Andrew Hahn, an analyst at NASA's Langley Research Center in Hampton, Va. Hahn's engineers are already committed to a 15-year time line for three successive generations of flying cars. The first will resemble a compact Cessna with folding wings that converts to road use; it should be available as a graduation gift when this year's freshman class leaves high school. The second, with a rollout planned for 2015, is a two-person pod with small wings and a rear-mounted propeller. The third will rise straight up like a mini-Harrier jet and should be on the market by the time your newborn has a learner's permit. The first of the three vehicles shouldn't cost more than a Mercedes.

An affordable flying car within five years is a dizzyingly fast evolution -- for everyone except Yoeli and other do-it-yourself auto pilots. They've been preparing for this future for decades, and unlike NASA, they can't afford to wait much longer.

There are some interesting packaging and marketing problems associated with bridging between cars and planes, as the article goes on to explain. Pilots who have inculcated themselves with the mentality that couches itself in fail-safes and redundancy and ever lower-tech and higher-reliability backup systems will recoil in horror at the idea of flying "smart cars" with GPS-guided automated landing scripts and collision detection systems, but a $1000 accreditation is hard to turn away from.

Does this mean we'll see flying cars within our lifetimes after all? To a Jetsons kid, they're way overdue; but to the cynical and desensitized post-space-race generation, this stuff seems as remote and fanciful as shrink rays and eye lasers and movies that aren't mere parodies of older, more sincere works of art.


11:31 - Don't speak up, or you'll crush his dissent

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This morning on KFOX, Greg Kihn talked about his recent curmudgeonly streak, growling about how much everything (by which I have to assume he must at least in part refer to John Kerry) sucks, which is turning off listeners. I guess this all must happen in the hours before I wake up, because after 9:00, he's always sunny to a fault, and introspective and apologetic and constantly talking about how he's trying to be positive about things, in response to reproachful e-mails and calls from listeners.

So then this guy calls in—"Brad", evidently someone Greg knows and has a history of irreverent, heckling calls—who says with great cheer and jocularity, "Well, there's already so much bad stuff going on in the world... this whole election season is so full of lies! I mean, you're sounding like a guy who served in Vietnam, and now is having his patriotism questioned! HAW HAW HAW HAW!"

Greg didn't respond at all to the bait; he just kept talking about how great it was to have a radio show, to be out of the hospital—he mentioned that he and Brad were now diverticulitis pals, both having had it. And in what has got to be the winner of the non-sequitur-of-the-year award, Brad goes, "Hey, careful—George Bush might have you arrested for saying things like that! HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW!"

Still no response from Greg; he rapidly changed the subject. And I just had to wonder: where is this curmudgeon he keeps talking about? No response to these dull-witted barbs, just easygoing self-effacement and rueful chuckles. I mean, if I were behind the microphone, I'd be asking exactly what lies were being told about Kerry and his Vietnam service—though the mainstream media seems convinced that the Swift Vets' claims have all been "debunked", the blogosphere is now issuing challenges to try to get them to explain just what the Swifties are "lying" about. Not that it's likely to get any traction; for most, including this Brad guy, it's enough to hear someone on the evening news dismiss them as just the "right-wing" equivalent of the Dan Rather memos. Hey, I mean, that makes it balanced, right? They're both lying! Let's not entertain the notion that one side is lying and the other one isn't, m'kay? That would be so curmudgeonly.

I guess that's why I don't have a radio show. Well, that and the fact that listening to me talk is about as much fun as watching Manos: Hands of Fate without Mike and the 'bots.

Sunday, September 26, 2004
23:05 - Sky Captain

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In a couple of words: thoroughly cool. In fact, I can hardly think of any complaints.

True, the movie is rife with little technological implausibilities (for example, sorry, you can't just converse at a normal level inside the cockpit of a fighter plane—and much of the technology, such as the floating airships, would require a power source not of this earth in scale); but the whole movie is one big technological implausibility, so I'm not going to fault them for that. It's one of those movies that takes place in a universe that's juuuust a bit parallel to our own—where happenstances like giant robots and apocalyptic plots by mad scientists are just sort of taken in stride, where city traffic still hurries people to and from work even as airplanes swoop through the streets at breakneck speed blasting away at each other from ten feet above your head. It's much, much larger than life, and as such it's pulp... and, hell, it's good pulp.

The movie is very deliberately vague as to the year it actually takes place; careful examinations of newspapers (yes, they come spinning out toward the camera over a backdrop of a churning printing press) reveal that it's a very kooky 1939. Everything from the New York skyscrapers to the Radio City Music Hall seem larger than they should, somehow. Even the cars are in shapes that never quite existed. It's not obvious what's different in this universe from the 1939 of our own. The year is never made any clearer in the dialogue, nor is there much else to indicate the geopolitics of this strange version of history; Hitler isn't mentioned, for example. It's a setting that's detailed enough in technical and historical matters to be fascinating, but vague enough that they don't have to worry about tedious explications of just how all this stuff works. It's the only way a pulp piece like this could work, and it's pulled off very well.

Even so, the movie plays quite loosely with anachronisms. I'll forgive things like holographic radar screens and levitating guard robots as part of the fun of the thing; but other stuff, such as the repeated references to "World War I" and "The first World War" are harder to excuse, as is the fact that Sky Captain flies a P-40 Warhawk, which first entered service in 1940. I can't help but think that these must be oversights. It's not like the movie is without errors; in one scene toward the beginning, when Sky Captain is striding into the humungous hangar on his base as the hundred-foot-high doors slide open, you see that up above the doors have those huge banks of dusty-opaque windows in grids like you saw in old factories, some of them punched out and shattered so as to give a very realistic, lived-in look. But, startlingly, I noticed that every one of these banks of windows had exactly the same pattern of broken and missing windows; it was repeated over and over, block after block of identically broken-out windows. They even appeared in that same formation elsewhere in the hangar. It's like they only bothered to make one bitmap of "factory windows" for every possible use; considering that the only things that weren't computer-generated were the actors (every single scene was shot in front of a blue screen), and considering how lavish and realistic every shot was, this erratum is particularly shocking, in a "gee that's silly" sort of way. An error that could only have come from careless computerized world-building, in a shot that's otherwise 100% convincingly real, tweaks the brain a bit, like the black cat/deja-vu effect in The Matrix. I'm sure there are other, similar flubs that I missed this time around, too.

But those are small things, and they don't detract at all from the story, which is told in excellently punchy fashion (I was sort of at a loss to think what role in the evil plan the kidnapped scientists played, but that's about the only thing I had trouble with). It isn't a funny movie, but there are four of five moments of such genuine humor—and administered with such zest and timing—that they deliver far more than their fair value in punctuating the narrative. (Polly's eye-roll at "Are you still glad you came?" was priceless. And the movie's very last line of dialogue can hardly be beat.) It seems to me that as an experiment in moviemaking technique, Sky Captain does much more successfully what Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within tried to do; where that movie fell down (the characters, being CG, still just didn't ring true enough to be believable), this one shines, because the actors are real and everything else is rendered (using Pixar's RenderMan, it should be noted). I fully expect to see more movies using this technique in the near future; it might just open up a region of storytelling that was inaccessible in the past. The current miserable state of Hollywood is to do remakes of old movies, even good ones, because there just aren't any new ideas that fit into the traditional medium. CG makes the execs look at 2D properties like Garfield and Scooby-Doo with the voracious eyes of those who see a new unmined field of ready-made ideas that haven't been done before because it was too expensive to animate them in 2D. But this is the first time I've seen CG actually successfully break open a whole genre of filmmaking. It's everything that was so wonderful about the Fleischer Superman cartoons, sharing with them a lot of DNA, as well as tapping into that steam-punk League of Nations vibe that seems so tantalizing even today. Perhaps it's just serendipity that the movie that does it is itself a remake of a particular film genre; but it's a really good one, regardless, and superbly worth one's time.

(Oh yes... wouldn't the radiation in that cave have ruined all of Polly's film anyway? Not that it really matters from a plot standpoint, I guess, but I kept expecting them to make a big deal of that little detail...)

(Oh, and that Michaelangelo-esque statue in Totenkopf's office, of the guy pulling out the other guy's brain, was a work of inspired genius.)


16:28 - Run with the dogs tonight

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To the lady standing with her young son on the corner of the road leading up to New Almaden, holding an armload of large flags and a big sign saying HONK TO SUPPORT OUR TROOPS, all I could do was yell, "I'd honk if I had a horn!"

A smile and a chuckle exchanged with a stranger. You get that walking a dog, too. And it makes it hard to listen to Pet Shop Boys songs sniveling about "suburban hell" on one's iPod headphones, when suburban life is so very fulfilling on days like this.

(Of course, it should go without saying that five miles down the road, at the Almaden Art and Wine Festival in the park, the people on the streetcorner were waving signs of an entirely different nature.)

I think I'll go take in Sky Captain tonight. I haven't been to a movie in a long time, and this seems like as good an excuse as any.

Thursday, September 23, 2004
15:16 - Fill in the blank
http://www.megat.co.uk/wrong/

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This is bound to come in handy someday. Sure seems like it would save a lot of time and effort in a lot of discussions.

UPDATE: Brian sends this noteworthy addition.

Oh, and for no particular reason, here's this one again. Quite possibly my favorite single page on the entire Internet.


15:05 - And capital wealth is thereby created, somehow
http://www.krohm.net/bernd.htm

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Okay, now this is novel, I gotta admit. Give me money or I'll eat this cute bunny-rabbit!

It doesn't look good for poor Bernd...


12:12 - Either that, or the SETI@home of journalism
http://www.microcontentnews.com/articles/borgjournalism.htm

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JMH sends this rather well-done piece on blogging from a journalist's perspective, using a metaphor that a lot of us will probably appreciate.

Weblogs aren't nearly so malevolent, and most bloggers get the warm fuzzies when they think about online content. But allow me to share the flip side of the story: if you're a journalist trying to break news, Blogs are the new Borg.

Blogs relentlessly track down every scrap of news, assimilating it into the Blog Collective hive-mind with stunning efficiency. It doesn't stop there: individual blogs each add a small insight to the story, drawing on their personal experience and contributing to the conversation. Then the conversation takes over, exploring every possible implication and insight with a ferocity that astounds.

When all is said and done, what is the role of journalists in breaking news? Are journalists relics of a golden era, now useful only as a conduit to pass along the whispers of the hive-mind to the unplugged masses? Or have we been reduced to Stamps of Approval, as we validate blog-based trends with the imprimatur of the New York Times or the Washington Post?

. . .

To use a crude metaphor, if you think about covering a story as putting together puzzle pieces, then the Blog Collective tends to shine when it's finding new puzzle pieces, and putting together simpler puzzles.

Journalists, on the other hand, tend to do their best work with really tough puzzles, or in finding puzzle pieces that demand primary research: phone calls, interviews, and the like.

Sounds a lot like distributed multiprocessing to me, a computational method for which some problems are better suited than others. And I guess that can be the source of another thought experiment: does the Borg itself function as the logical conclusion of the distributed multiprocessing concept, with all the strengths and weaknesses associated with it?

With that in mind, the synergistic relationship that Hiler describes here sounds like a very likely projection of what the journalistic landscape will look like in the not-so-distant future.

Wednesday, September 22, 2004
15:07 - A discriminating customer
http://dotclue.org/archives/002124.html

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J Greely has a post in defense of discrimination. Seriously.

There's "progress" afoot, and it ain't always good.


13:30 - It's not vandalism if the good guys do it
http://www.stopbushpostcards.com/

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Hey, New York? Howsabout showing some of that old-fashioned spirit and busting some heads?

Unless, of course, this is the kind of publicity you want to have.

Via Paul Denton.


09:34 - You'll be letting out your own right names if you're not careful

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I got an e-mail from someone claiming that the following quote from Dick Cheney was equivalent to Microsoft-esque FUD:

"The danger here is without a very firm commitment on the part of the president of the United States to put in place a vision to make a decision and live with that decision ... what you get out there on the other end is confusion, weakness, uncertainty and indecision," the vice president told about 200 people at a town hall meeting.

Because, you know, calling a position that flip-flops 180 degrees every two weeks "confusion, weakness, uncertainty and indecision" is such a slanderous misrepresentation.

If Microsoft were this honest and straightforward about Linux, there'd be sports stadiums named after Red Hat by now.

UPDATE: Meanwhile, there's real Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt being peddled about Iraq.

Tuesday, September 21, 2004
16:12 - What do they make telephone wires out of in Texas?
http://cms.firehouse.com/content/article/article.jsp?sectionId=45&id=32289

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File this one under "Far too implausible to be fiction":

Upon arrival, the engine company found a vehicle still running, hanging on the telephone wires by its right front tire.

Witnesses reported that the car had been traveling westbound on Alief-Clodine when the driver lost control of the vehicle, crossed the median, and made contact with the guide wire from the ground to the telephone pole, propelling the vehicle upward onto the wires.

Witnesses also reported that the driver jumped down from the vehicle and ran to catch a bus prior to the arrival of Engine 2 and the Harris County Sheriff's Department.

The vehicle ran for over an hour until the oil had completely drained from the motor and it seized.

That'll be something to tell the grandkids about...


13:35 - Okay, now I feel silly

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I keep hearing about "pilates". Exercise videos, classes, memberships—they all talk about "pilates" now. And all this time, I'd had no idea what the word referred to. I'd assumed it was a new muscle group that the health-fad manufacturers had identified, somewhere in your lower back region (or so I imagined), that if you exercised them they would make your whole body better, or that it was imperative to give a thorough workout every day.

I was picturing people doing these sets of weird sideways crunches all evening in the aerobics rooms of gyms, working those pilates; after a few weeks, they'd have developed these huge pilates, sticking out of the sides of their lower backs, and they'd have to buy whole new sets of clothes to fit over the huge slabs of pilate muscles they'd built up.

It was only today that I discovered that that's not what Pilates is at all.

Hey, c'mon—it wasn't that stupid a misunderstanding! ...Was it?


11:23 - Once in a lifetime

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Politics is by its nature a very subjective game. A lot of the time, it seems, you can use the same set of facts to "prove" completely opposing points of view. Touchy-feely, human interest anecdotes—whether the sob story of some oppressed worker, or a soul-stirring tale of capitalism and entrepreneurship making a dream come true—carry a lot of weight with people and do more, perhaps, to sway a person to one side of the aisle or the other than a table of statistics ever could. It's a rare occasion indeed when one side turns out to be 100%, unequivocally right about something.

Which is why the CBS/Memogate scandal is such a "big deal". No matter what one might think of the bloggers who ran it to ground and relentlessly pushed it until CBS could no longer breathe, they turned out to be right, and nobody can take that away from them by calling them "partisan hacks" or muttering darkly about imagined political ties. They were right, and they proved themselves to be both more technically competent and more scrupulous than one of our largest and most trusted journalistic banner-bearers, and cast doubt by extension upon the honor of the entire mainstream media. By whatever objective scoring system you use, these guys—Powerline, LGF, INDC Journal, and others—ought to revel in the well-earned spotlight that's now turned on them (though, hey, by the look of that one dude's desk, it might be more of a desk lamp...).

And this is why it's so pathetic to see some people still trying to complain that the bloggers who unmasked CBS for what it is—little more than a bought-and-paid-for partisan propaganda machine—are somehow lessened by being politically motivated. As though there's something political about the truth! This is, again, one of those rarest of things: an event in political history where there's an incontrovertible truth, and a set of people who recognize it as such and another set who were lying. There's no "interpretation" here, no question of "credibility" or "uncertainty". Those damn memos were forged, and you either saw them as such or you tried to contribute to the lie. There's really no middle ground. And it doesn't matter in the slightest what the political motivations were of the people who staked out their claim on that piece of coveted land called Truthsville; they could have been neo-Nazis, or they could have been Communists, or they could have been invading space mutants—it doesn't matter, they were right, and those who opposed them were wrong. You can't throw out a proof because you don't like the look of the guy proving it. And if the bloggers who did the leg-work here all happen to share a political goal (it should be noted that not all of them even identify as Republicans), well, so what? Rather than stamping your foot and wailing like a kid who doesn't understand why his mother won't buy him candy, maybe it would be worthwhile to think about what else these guys might possibly be right about.

I've been waiting for a volta in this turbulent discourse for some time now: the turning point, the event at which the media realizes that its own bias might make a bigger, more saleable story than stumping for John Kerry. So far nothing's been sufficient. But Memogate might just be it. The Washington Post has turned on CBS and produced nice flashy glossy timelines comparing the fake memos to real ones from the same time period. Time has the above-linked blog-pumping cover story, and Newsweek might follow suit. The pressure to cover this story of internal pathology within the mainstream media has been growing, though to do so would be to turn away from the Kerry cheerleading that's at the center of the debate, and so it's not happened yet; but now this story is so big, so hard to keep out of public discourse, that to ignore it is to abdicate any pretense of "keeping the public informed". This might, in other words, be that volta we've been waiting for.

It seems that Kerry is trying desperately to shift the discussion to Iraq, and much good may it do him—but with Memogate now as deep into the public consciousness as it is, and with it having reached the critical mass necessary to sustain a journalistic chain reaction that keeps it alive in the headlines for more than a couple of days, Kerry's entire campaign is now poisoned. Who can say they trust him now? Who can say they trust his campaign? How can Kerry advertise in such a way that paints him as a trustworthy good guy and makes it stick? I think it's really too late for him in this election; he's as good as gone, by all the electoral polls, and his party really ought to concentrate now on figuring out how to rebuild itself into a body with some credibility and some reasoning power, rather than ad-hominem attacks, petulant whining, and hypocritical screeching about an imagined "evil" that the rest of the country now sees only in that party's own tactics.

UPDATE: Yes, I know "truth" and "fact" are not the same thing... or so some smart bearded people in universities say. That's sort of my point.

Anyway, Matt H. e-mails the following thoughts:

The lefties and the Dems seem to treat opinions as facts and facts as
opinions. I've noticed that the MSM, if it wants to "report" on inconvenient
truths, simply encapsulates them in quotes from Republicans. "Republicans
say the memos are forgeries." "Republicans say the sky is blue."
"Republicans say the sun will rise in the east tomorrow." The idiots
comprising the 15% that Jonathan Alter talked about will read this as "The
documents are not forgeries." "The sky is not blue." "The sun will rise in
the West tomorrow."

And the opinions that are facts : "Bush did not fulfill his National Guard
duty." "Halliburton has done something nefarious and Cheney has benefited."
"Iraq is a quagmire." "Less than 1000 combat deaths is a military
catastrophe."

Due to the way the MSM's and the Dems are acting, truth is
_starting_ to become political. It's becoming necessary to vote against
these guys, because of their lack of respect for truth! It's getting so
absurd that who else _except_ Republicans would be worried about the truth?

What's that word again? Oh yeah: indeed.

UPDATE: Geez, there are examples of this all over.

Monday, September 20, 2004
18:38 - Let's not go there
http://www.chinpokomon.com/archives/001309.html#001309

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Kevin has quite the pithy comment about European domestic politics. Sounds about right to me, from what little I hear.

I guess it stands to reason that this is what "the world after history" would look like. Funny—to me, it doesn't sound much worth living in.


13:29 - Throwing Strikes
http://coldfury.com/index.php?p=4867

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You've got to see this video that Mike found. See it, and wonder how deeply buried the sentiments expressed in it really are anymore.

And then see what he's dug up as a rejoinder to it.

Oh, man.

Sunday, September 19, 2004
13:49 - Denial of the conspiracy is the surest sign that it exists

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Huh boy... I really don't know whether I should laugh or cry. As long as I can be sure that this really is the form the Left's death throes will take this election season, and that they won't be rewarded for this kind of insanity with a victory at the polls.

See, what's apparently happening is that now that all the big media outlets (except for CBS) have acknowledged that the Killian memos are fakes, they're shifting to a hysterical wave of finger-pointing, to try to figure out where they came from—and of course it couldn't have been one of their own, pure as the driven snow that they are. The prime suspects, of course, are Bush and Karl Rove, in an ingenious insidious ploy that has used the blogosphere and the mainstream media both as musical instruments in the hands of some Satanic virtuoso.

How does one come to believe that this is how "the other side" works? How does one come to believe in the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy? How does a magazine like Time descend so far into madness to headline an upcoming exposé, "Bush Campaign Keeping Close Eye on Blogs, Using Them To Mainline Information to the G.O.P. Faithful" (via LGF)? I mean, I know I have never been contacted by dark-suited operatives offering to feed me information manufactured or illegally purloined so as to thwart the Kerry campaign. I can't imagine Powerline or LGF or InstaPundit being similarly "mainlined", mostly because these guys write the way they think: carefully. Maybe I'm just isolated in some odd islet of unconventional thought with the rest of these guys, but I've always been under the impression that the widely-read right-wing bloggers are such because of their own reasoning, not because of what they're being told to believe by GOP operatives.

After all, LGF points out that the likes of Matthew Yglesias see nothing wrong with explicitly mentioning the names of people in the Daschle office and Kerry campaign who are "mainlining" the Left side of the blogosphere with powdered dirt. So apparently it's just assumed that there's a similar force directing the right-wing blogs like marionettes, but it's just too shadowy and sinister for us to give it its name. We couldn't, of course, have been clever enough on our own to, say, recognize the Killian memos as fakes without a "highly technical" dossier on them being fed into the Freepersphere by a top-hatted undercover agent by the name of "Buckhead". Without that analysis we'd never have seen those stupid Word printouts for what they were.

I could choose to be insulted that the other side would think us so gullible and dependent upon outside help; or I could choose to be disappointed that they think the things we believe are so untenable that we have to have superiors feeding us intravenously with distilled "talking points" to regurgitate; or I could choose to be saddened that they apparently do have to have such top-down direction, without which their narrative rapidly shakes itself to pieces, between calling a scandal "no big deal" and then jumping up and down about the conspiracy that must be in charge of such a devastating blow to their credibility.

What is there to do but sit and slowly shake one's head back and forth?

Saturday, September 18, 2004
23:59 - Arrrr
http://grant.henninger.name/iPatch/

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The day be upon us, says I.




22:57 - A little down-home cookin'
http://www.captainsquartersblog.com/mt/archives/002554.php

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Captain Ed has a real masterpiece of a post up. It seriously must be read to be believed.

I wouldn't sully its perfection by presuming to excerpt it.


21:03 - The trap is sprung
http://news.myway.com/top/article/id/427395|top|09-18-2004::15:09|reuters.html

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So:

"There are a lot of questions about the documents and they need to be answered," Bush told the Union Leader newspaper of Manchester, New Hampshire, after a week in which some experts questioned whether the documents had been fabricated by those seeking to damage Bush in his re-election race.

"I think what needs to happen is people need to take a look at the documents, how they were created, and let the truth come out," Bush added.

You don't suppose George W. Bush is more familiar with the output of Microsoft Word than Dan Rather is, do you?


17:40 - Celsius 41.11
http://www.citizensunited-interactive.org/C41.11/

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I doubt this will hit screens like F9/11 did; but check it out online, at the very least. Celsius 41.11, a refutationof Moore's movie—one of many in the works, it seems—has a trailer that's pretty dang powerful. Go and see.

Check out the protester woman explaining why she likes Saddam Hussein:

When you talk about a "dictator", well, there's pros and there's cons.
If a dictator provides free health care, then I like that dictator!
If a dictator provides university and education for everyone, then I like that dictator!

Ah, the old free-health-care-and-literacy argument in favor of socialist dictators everywhere. People love 'em because the socialist part is so attractive that it makes them forget all about the dictator part. The promise of free admittance into hospitals and universities excuses all else.

Isn't it amazing how cheaply some people are willing to sell their humanity?

UPDATE: Paul Denton has comments.


10:24 - That eye no longer seems like a reassuring symbol

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Friday, September 17, 2004
09:32 - Okay, that's just weird

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Going through my spam this morning, I saw one message that talked about "married women looking for discrete encounters". I chuckled inwardly—all right! Multiple times!

And not three seconds later, Greg Kihn, in one of his sponsorship ads, said, "If you're a discernible customer, you're gonna want to go to Stevens Creek Toyota..."

Boy, not many continuum fans this morning, huh?

Thursday, September 16, 2004
20:29 - Saves us all a lot of effort
http://www.iraruskin.org/ruskin40yrs?PHPSESSID=379f573801c79fe05b075918ba180086

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This just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy somehow: a local political ad, currently airing on many different cable channels, for State Assembly candidate Ira Ruskin.



What makes it so cool is that it's just so forthright. It doesn't pull any punches; it doesn't make any empty promises. It ends with the tagline: We know where he stands. And indeed we do.

Which means the ad has the interesting property that for people who oppose the things Ruskin says he stands for, the ad is as powerful a case for voting against him as it is for people who agree with him to vote for him. If Ruskin's opponent wanted to run an ad telling his base why not to vote for Ruskin, he may as well just pay to have Ruskin's own ad aired more frequently.

It really is a marvel of honesty, and for that—if for nothing else—I must tip my hat to Mr. Ruskin.


11:31 - Now that took guts
http://timblair.spleenville.com/archives/007506.php

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Looks like Kevin Drum, one of the Left's most widely-read bloggers, has come out in favor of retreating from the Memo War:

I think it's time for everyone to give up on this. The memos are almost certainly fakes, they're sucking up media bandwidth that could be better used elsewhere, and Dan Rather is toast. Besides, there was really nothing in them that told us anything new.

Time to move on.

Go to Tim Blair's site to see a collection of the reactions from his readers that he must have known he'd receive. It's really quite breathtaking. As EvilPundit says in Blair's comments, "The poor bastard is trying to plug the holes in a sinking ship, and the other crew members are beating him with baseball bats."

It really took some balls to go ahead and say it, in light of these comments... and it really illustrates what peril one must be in, as a big-time Lefty writer, to know what kind of readers you have and what they expect from you.

Drum ought to be applauded for his clear vision, and more so for his courage. I wouldn't want to be in his shoes right about now.

UPDATE: Joshua Marshall of Talking Points Memo was similarly applauded for his intellectual honesty by a long-time fan. Phew, boy. These guys are really tolerant of dissenting points of view, aren't they? Right up until you express one. (Via John N.)

UPDATE: USA Today has a roundup of reactions from both sides of the blogosphere. Looks like a consensus to me, if there's a divergence in how happy it makes people. (Via Jonathan H.)

Wednesday, September 15, 2004
11:09 - Well, at least they're being honest now

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One interesting side effect of the CBS/memo-forgery thing is that now that everyone is spinning madly over it, with every news organization but CBS holding interviews with bloggers demonstrating the memos' falsity, and CBS itself continuing to insist upon their authenticity and calling their opponents "partisan hacks" and such, is that it's seemingly made a lot of people lower their guard. There's no longer any pretense being made about media bias, or the purported lack thereof: it's all a given now, now that what we're discussing is so much more focused on a single event and person.

This past weekend, for example, we had the release of the Democrats' "Fortunate Son" video, which is founded upon the forged documents and features Dan Rather (as though anyone could possibly imagine that a coincidence). Under normal circumstances, wouldn't a news organ trying to dispel accusations of bias refuse to put its most prominent anchorperson in such proximity with a political party and its advertising? Wouldn't it shy away from anything that even looks like an endorsement? But that seems not to even matter anymore—everybody knows Dan Rather is staunchly opinionated toward one side now, and the only question in the air is whether he has any actual journalistic integrity left at all. It's really quite a stunning development, I think.

In other words, the edifice of the "impartial media" really has fallen, very suddenly. The mask has dropped. And of course there'll be no putting it back on.

So now that these bodies of authority over the information we consume are no longer hiding the fact that they're hiding things from us, we get stuff like this stunning admission—nay, taunt—by members of the Borders Bookstore employees' union, instructing employees to do everything in their power to prevent customers from buying the anti-Kerry book Unfit for Command.

You guys don’t actually HAVE to sell the thing!

Just “carelessly” hide the boxes, “accidentally” drop them off pallets, “forget” to stock the ones you have, and then suggest a nice Al Franken or Micheal Moore book as a substitute. Borders wants those recommends, remember?

I don’t care if these Neandertals in fancy suits get mad at me, they aren’t regular customers anyway. Other than “Left Behind” books, they don’t read. Anything you can do to make them feel unwelcome is only fair. They are the people pushing retailers to cut costs, don’t forget. And they would censor your speech, your books, your music in a heartbeat, so give them a taste of it!

Don’t get mad, get even!

We've been increasingly suspecting that the bookstores might be doing something like this, but it seemed far too far-fetched to be more than a conspiracy theory; after all, the first commenter at Kevin's site said (several weeks ago), "I'm a little surprised by this, that a huge conglomo-mega-corp would do this. I'm sure it had more to do with whoever stocked that table than corporate guidelines if I had to guess."

Well, I guess sometimes one can't overestimate how weird reality can be.

Don't you just love it, though? "And they would censor your speech, your books, your music in a heartbeat, so give them a taste of it!" Where have we heard this kind of language before? They'll kill you as soon as look at you! Don't feel bad, they're not even human! They don't feel pain!

Just remember, this isn't censorship, because it's by the good guys. For a good cause. With good intentions.

I swear, the more hysterical these people get about how evil their opponents are, the more people they're going to end up driving away from their side of the aisle for good. Not everyone is so willfully blind as to forever ignore the discrepancies between what they see and what they're told.

UPDATE: Kevin found an official statement from the Borders Union website that's just a scream to read. Unintentionally so, I think... but it's so hard to tell.

Tuesday, September 14, 2004
15:50 - Dueling Truths
http://littlegreenfootballs.com/weblog/?entry=12613_Killians_Secretary-_These_Are_No

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Go check out this LGF thread, where members give play-by-play commentary not only on Dan Rather's continued nutcase stonewalling on the document-forgery case, but of Brit Hume on Fox interviewing Scott Johnson (of Powerline fame), mentioning Charles Johnson and LGF numerous times, and showing the recreation-overlays.

One TV audience is being fed a line of what another TV audience is now learning first-hand is bullcrap.

I don't ever want to hear anyone tell me that Fox is "too biased to be useful" again. Ever.


14:49 - Hurricane warriors defend humanity

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Here's the latest creative outpouring from the Ar-Rahman list:

I could write you a poem
With my aching tears.
Aching tears don't repair scars.
I must place my blood on my palm
Regardless of my old age.

Young Iraqi boys fight like lions,
Iraq’s neighbors watch soccer.
Iraq’s puppets
Fire American weapons;
They kill Iraqis
In vengeance for dead U.S. soldiers.

Iraq! I've built cuts and bruises
Around my heart to feel your pain
Until you're free.
I wish I could be there with you.
My back can still take a bomb or two.
I'd rather bleed to death
And not see you bleed.

My last hope is I die for you…
Burry me in Baghdad,
In Fallujah,
In Najaf,
In Sammarra,
In Ramadi;
Burry me
Inside every grain of your soil.

Iraq, you fell to your feet before.
Each time you pursed out from your wounds
Before your enemies dug their heels.
They all fled like wild creeps.

George deceived you:
He entered your home
From the back door.
He paraded your prisoners
Like sick dogs;
He raped your daughters and mothers;
He disintegrated your pride;
He dismantled your joints;
He severed your heart from your soul;
He bombed your mosques and libraries;
He robbed your galleries and museums;
He stained your earth;
He polluted your air;
He poisoned your water;
He spoiled your food;

Every drop of blood George spilled
Will clot his brain
And sicken his heart.
His nights shall become dreams
Of Hell Fire.
His subhuman followers
Shall be reduced to talking pigs.

George commits war crimes,
Victims return on flights of hurricanes and storms;
In seconds they sweep
What B52 carpet-bomb in days.

Hurricanes, Charlie and Frances invaded Florida.
Iraq is holding on its last breath.
Najaf, Fallujah, Sammara and Baghdad
Cannot dig enough graves
Under hails of U.S. bombs.
Is God giving us a sign?
Could this be just a mild warning
For the worse is yet to come?
Hurricanes, Charlie and Frances
Ruined millions of homes;
Nearly 6-million homeless
Join their Iraqi peers.
George W. Bush claimed God is on his side.
Believe George or God,
The choice is yours.

Islam weeps when humanity bleeds.
Hurricanes and U.S. Zionists
Are enemies at war:
Hurricane warriors defend humanity;
Zionist killers kill Arabs and Muslims.

America and Israel reduced Palestine
To concentration camps.
Hitler giggles in his grave,
His grandchildren carry his name.
Today they murder Afghanis and Iraqis;
Tomorrow they will bomb Iran and Syria.
Israelis, Palestinians, Afghanis and Iraqis
Prepare more cemeteries;
United States ships coffins free of charge

Saddam? Who?

Monday, September 13, 2004
02:01 - Life on the urban frontier

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I just witnessed the freakiest thing I think I've ever seen in the hallowed halls of suburbia.

About fifteen minutes ago, sitting in my comfy upstairs chair watching Lupin the Third, I heard outside my window a sudden flurry of caterwauling and rustling leaves. It sounded like a typical cat fight, coming from the hedges and brush at the far side of the house on our right at the end of the cul-de-sac; and I was about to dismiss it as such... except that the yowling and the tumbling in the dry leaves lasted for nearly half a minute, sounding particularly strained and earnest. When it died out, it did so quickly, as though a bag had suddenly been thrown over the participants. And, as I realized a few moments later, there had only been one cat's voice in the fracas.

An unsettling thought therefore ran through my mind on spindly legs, but I hustled it out and went back to the TV-watching. Cat fights can be weird, I thought.

Then, a moment later, Capri came into my room, making those little whimpery noises he makes when he wants a walk—or, more generically, when he'd like to go outside please. So I pulled on some shoes and went downstairs with him, put on his collar, and we headed out the front door.



Capri tugged forward immediately, and I could immediately see why: right in front of me, about forty feet away, a taut, loping, canine shape, about knee-high with tall pointy ears, trotted out from behind the car parked at the sidewalk on the right, looked at me, and then glided briskly leftward across my field of vision and then away from me down the road. And it was followed immediately by three others, each emerging from some nook between cars... and one carrying something heavy and limp and, well... cat-shaped.

Coyotes. Four of them. Hunting in a pack... in my cul-de-sac, right outside my window.

And they just made off with one of our next-door neighbors' cats!

I've heard coyotes yelping and howling in the ravine behind the power station down where I walk Capri, late at night; I've known they come within vocal range of my bedroom window, but I'd never known they'd become so brazen as to take the hunt right down the middle of a suburban cul-de-sac. Apparently the local coyotes have begun to evolve into the ecological niche vacated by wolves, and now hunt in packs very similar to their larger cousins; their quarry is necessarily smaller, but a cat is quite a prize, especially for something as small as a coyote.

I tried running after the hunting party as they paused at the end of the cul-de-sac, where it opens onto the major avenue; they stood there, seemingly unconcerned, surveying the situation, and knowing I couldn't follow them because Capri was far more interested in sniffing the ground where they'd left their various calling cards than in giving chase. (Probably just as well.) But I likewise couldn't drag him back inside so I could grab a Mag-lite and go running after them; so I had to just let him finish satisfying his olfactory curiosity, myself watching passively as the coyotes turned and vanished into the night, and then took Capri back inside the house where he lay down seemingly exhausted from the night's sleuthing.

I grabbed the flashlight and ran out in the direction where I was pretty sure the coyotes had gone—left turn at the avenue, down to the vacant lot that abuts the wooded ravine with Guadalupe Creek at the bottom—but the trail was long cold. Again, it's probably just as well.

Our neighbors are going to have an unpleasant surprise tomorrow morning; I guess it's up to Lance to tell the story.

But it's something to have witnessed it first-hand, lemme tell you.


22:42 - Today is a great day for democracy!

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Oh, and I would appreciate it if anyone who thinks that Bush is guilty of waging war on our democracy and exploiting 9/11 for his own political purposes would please take a look at this.

We're not doing any setting of the bar here, folks.


11:36 - This is reality

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Nary a week goes by without someone in England or Canada or somewhere e-mailing me to tell me, quite earnestly, that "Bush has created a climate of fear in your country". Fear that straying from the President's party line risks giving up the perks of this just society: the corner office, the club memberships, the respect of your peers, police protection from roving gangs swinging sacks of doorknobs—that sort of thing. And I know that to hear the Hollywood bloc talk about it to Rolling Stone or Vanity Fair or on The Daily Show, it's pretty easy to come to the conclusion that we're living in Nazi Germany over here... though perhaps the fact that these stars are giving the interviews from the comfort of their palatial Santa Monica homes ought to ring a few credibility buzzers. Not that it ever does, of course. Weekly mass protests in our cities in which hundreds of thousands of angry youths wave signs showing Bush with a Hitler moustache do nothing to shake the impression that America is tightly bound up in a lockstep march behind a purity of ideology that we all know better than to grumble about.

But, well, this (via InstaPundit) is really more like what life around here is:

Many Republicans are afraid to put Bush-Cheney bumper stickers on their cars or signs on their lawns because they are afraid of physical retaliation from angry liberals.

It is not just that one sees few Bush-Cheney bumper stickers and lawn signs - even in areas in which one knows his support is high. I do not have such a bumper sticker or lawn sign. In fact, most Bush supporters I have asked, even those who are fairly passionate on the topic, just don't think the risk of a key-scratch or broken home or car window, or much worse, is worth whatever benefit one receives from a partisan bumper sticker or lawn sign. There are just too many personal stories of cars and homes defaced and damaged.

Why do you suppose it is that I never put a flag on my car's antenna, or a "W" sticker in the back window? It's because I don't want to draw attention to myself. I've seen what can happen. And I know what the polls say about who's going to vote for whom, and I know how disproportionate to those numbers the outward displays of support are on the roads. Around here, you don't say you're a Bush supporter in polite company, much less in public. Very few people have Bush stickers on their cars, far fewer than the polls ought to indicate. (Flags are more common, because they're more open to interpretation.) On my 14-mile bike route to work, on the various winding residential streets, I pass a total of two vehicles reliably parked in certain locations with Bush stickers in their windows. Every time I pass them, I examine them with interest, to see whether they've been keyed yet. True, they haven't; but I've heard the stories—the real stories, the ones involving actual people and locations, the ones that tell me what I've got to watch out for.

The number of Kerry stickers I see along the same route? I lose count.

Remember, this is the America we live in today: where the "climate of fear" is felt primarily by those who try to figure out how to put up a memorial flag without making it a target for hoodlums and vandals.

That's what level of compromise and hemming and hawing is required these days in America. All my life I've been gravely informed that it's the conservatives and Republicans who have the black-and-white worldview, the absolutism, the uncompromising demand for purity of thought and purpose. But try balancing a love of nature with the need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil, or a respect for the principle of self-help and individual responsibility with compassion for the downtrodden, or a revulsion with foreign wars with the knowledge that the only way to respond to audacious terrorist attacks is with force far out of proportion to the attacks themselves. Try being a gay man trying doggedly to get people to think about the subtle but imperatively crucial differences between rights and privileges and freedoms. It strikes me that this effort involves a lot more nuance than, say, voting against funding our troops in Iraq because you're in a snit over Bush's tax cuts. As commenter goldsmith at Tim Blair's site says:

It's amazing to me that the "left" (how outmoded and meaningless these distinctions are) have evolved into the most uptight, anti-rational, superstitious and piously moralistic bunch since the Puritans walked the wild forests of America (though I hesitate to make the comparison, since the Puritans accomplished great things). The "left" may joke and titter and wheeze about "fundy Christian wingnuts" but find someone lecturing you about your immorality, your materialism, your sinful pride, your lack of spiritual value and, most likely, they will be driving an old Volvo with the radio tuned to "Pacifica" and a GEORGE BUSH IS A LIAR bumper-sticker on the fender. Your average lefty is quicker to take offense than a blue-haired old presbyterian; they are constantly monitoring everyone for signs of racism, sexism, colonialism, anti-animal hate speech. They will criticize your car, your house, your synthetic fiber sweater, your swear words, your cigarettes, your sandwich, your choice of grocery bag, your skin color (if it is in the dusky pink range). Life to them is a laundry list of strictures, taboos and lamentations. They hate science, they fear Christianity, they think heterosexual porn is rape, they believe in magic, aromatherapy, tribalism; they scream about Bush killing children but fail to bat an eyelash at the consequences of "pro-choice". They cringe in disgust and embarrassment at the "black and white" moral distinctions of Bush (and Reagan in his time) when he speaks of the "axis of evil", yet no one uses the word evil more than leftists when describing the Bush Administration, capitalism, America, Israel. They mock and scoff at the president's religiosity, yet speak in reverential tones of Gaia, Buddha, Wicca, Yoga. And on and on.

In other words, they are as wrought out, blinkered and dangerously conflicted and superstitious as your average Puritan (or probably closer to your average medieval peasant), yet they call themselves progressives and call everyone else fundamentalists, warmongers, fascists. Freedom is slavery.

As I look around the world today, I see so many examples of beams-in-people's-eyes that it becomes numbing. Dan Rather accusing the blogosphere of being bad at fact-checking? The mainstream media is becoming a not-very-funny parody of itself; but it's only reflecting this wider tendency of society: those who scream fascist! most loudly are the ones exhibiting tactics that would make Stalin proud; those who shriek about religious fundamentalism make common cause with zealots who push stone walls down on gay people and execute women in stadiums and exhibit a form of racial profiling that ought to chasten anyone who's ever curled a lip at the LAPD (but, for some reason, won't); those who whimper about their "dissent" being "crushed" are given the means to shout their message of oppression from the highest pinnacles of the land 24 hours a day to an audience that laps it up and begs for more, then turns around and puts up posters all over Manhattan calling for the expulsion of the Republican party.

This is the very definition of "cognitive dissonance". Reality just doesn't match what everyone with a loud voice is attempting to hammer into our heads on a daily basis. And the gap is widening.

So I appreciate your concern, you guys e-mailing me; I know it must sound awful here, to hear Michael Moore and Johnny Depp tell it. But that's really not what it's like... it's just not. I know my voice doesn't carry the way Barbra Streisand's does (perish the thought), but I'm calling it the way I see it, from the perspective of someone who's not a movie star. Shouldn't that perspective be considered a little more authentic?

UPDATE: Observing the people who are still, bewilderingly, trying to "prove" that those stupid Word docs that CBS has are authentic memos from 1972, I keep coming back to the feeling that people who express these loony-left ideas at the drop of the hat in response to any mention of 9/11 or Iraq or Bush are doing so simply because it seems like "the less obvious reaction"... and therefore, as far as they're concerned, the "right" one. Because, after all, the "obvious" reaction, the visceral one, the one involving righteous military force and emotional investment and moral certitude, is the one that the great unwashed masses are going to have... so in order to prove how intellectual and ironic and affected and postmodern they are, they have to make snide jokes about "the real terrorists" and figure out surprising people to blame for our various problems. The more surprising, and the more offensive to the aforementioned "masses", the better. Because that means they're on the right track, by definition. Everybody thinks those memos are fake? Hell, that's proof enough for me that they're real!

It's not a higher plane of consciousness. It's just contrarianism. We've fetishized it, and now look at the crop we reap.

Saturday, September 11, 2004
19:54 - "We were supposed to get the TNG future, not the B5 one"
http://ravishinglight.blogspot.com/2004/09/memory.html

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I'm not going to post anything today, or at least about today... partly because I'm just too swamped in projects, and partly because I don't think I have anything original to say this time around.

But Paul Denton does; and though it is his own unique tale, he may as well have been speaking for me, because his perspective is one that's quite close to my own heart. He makes observations that I wish I'd thought of making. And he describes a mental process, shaped by pop-cultural forces I find all too familiar, that I underwent in parallel.

So just go read it already.

Friday, September 10, 2004
16:48 - Now that's some irony
http://www.powerlineblog.com/archives/007782.php

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Powerline, which has been one of the big movers in the memo-forgery scandal still being unwrapped, has discovered that the handwriting-analysis expert that CBS got to verify the authenticity of the memos is this guy.

It's so surreal, I keep expecting to wake up any moment now. I mean, read the article... and then consider the context.

I swear. I am just sitting here with my face in my palms, slowly weaving side to side as the credibility of the news organization I spent every evening of my pre-college life with crashes to earth.

Every minute brings some new revelation. I don't have anything to add—just posting something because I have the feeling this will be one of those moments I'll want to look back on from the comfortable distance of several years in the future, so I can see what I was doing when...


13:15 - Good start
http://worldtribune.com/worldtribune/breaking_12.html

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If this holds any water, it's exactly what I and so many of us have been wanting to see for three years now.

This September 11 marks the third unforgettable anniversary of the worst mass murder in American history.

After September 11, many in the Muslim world chose denial and hallucination rather than face up to the sad fact that Muslims perpetrated the 9-11 terrorist acts and that we have an enormous problem with extremism and support for terrorism. Many Muslims, including religious leaders, and “intellectuals” blamed 9-11 on a Jewish conspiracy and went as far as fabricating a tale that 4000 Jews did not show up for work in the World Trade Center on 9-11. Yet others blamed 9-11 on an American right wing conspiracy or the U.S. Government which allegedly wanted an excuse to invade Iraq and “steal” Iraqi oil.

After numerous admissions of guilt by Bin Laden and numerous corroborating admissions by captured top level Al-Qaida operatives, we wonder, does the Muslim leadership have the dignity and courage to apologize for 9-11?

. . .

Only moderate Muslims can challenge and defeat extremist Muslims. We can no longer afford to be silent. If we remain silent to the extremism within our community then we should not expect anyone to listen to us when we complain of stereotyping and discrimination by non-Muslims; we should not be surprised when the world treats all of us as terrorists; we should not be surprised when we are profiled at airports.

Simply put, not only do Muslims need to join the war against terror, we need to take the lead in this war.

As to apologizing, we will no longer wait for our religious leaders and “intellectuals” to do the right thing. Instead, we will start by apologizing for 9-11.

We are so sorry that 3000 people were murdered in our name. We will never forget the sight of people jumping from two of the highest buildings in the world hoping against hope that if they moved their arms fast enough that they may fly and survive a certain death from burning.

. . .

We are so sorry.

For more information visit our website at: www.freemuslims.org

This had better be for real. I'd hate to have gotten my hopes up for nothing. Right now, though, the server linked above isn't responding to pings, so who knows. This might or might not be earnest, or it might or might not represent a statistically significant number of Muslims. I'll have to wait to find out, though; after all, as we know, stuff can be forged.

But this is the solution we've all wanted: Muslims taking the lead in weeding out their own ranks, perceiving it as being in their own interest to confront their rogue element and present a benign face to the world. Any corporation or government body would aggressively subject itself to rigorous vetting to maintain moral consistency and honor; CEOs step down, Senators resign, maverick employees are fired. It's a system that's served the Western world very well: in a free market of ideas, it's in your own interest as an organized body to hold your members to strict standards, to expect every member to be a good representative of your group, and to own up in good faith to failures on that count. It's a system, however, that has until now eluded the Muslim community, whose leaders prefer instead to chant mantras of Islam being a "religion of peace" and the perpetrators of terrorist attacks being "not really Muslims" and the victims of such attacks being "legitimate targets" (often all in the same breath). In a culture where admission of culpability is the worst possible failing, these kinds of reactions can possibly be seen as rational, which is not to excuse them. ("The soft bigotry of low expectations", anyone?)

But this is the modern world, and it's ruled by modern notions such as the free market of ideas to a degree far greater than we really realize, without the benefit of first-hand historical context. In the age of mass media and light-speed communications, the world's most repressed societies are far more aware of how different life can be in other parts of the world than even the enlightened societies of the Middle Ages were. It's in this environment that it has to sink in that applying Western-style standards of conduct to one's own religious group, no matter how huge or decentralized, is the only way to resolve this clash of civilizations without the world erupting into a conflagration. (I'm not sure how this can be accomplished without a mechanism such as excommunication by which members, if they value their faith, can be kept in line—but at least nobody's ruling out the adoption of a more flexible, possibly more centralized form of Islam that's still considered "legitimate", which seems necessary in any case.)

The War on Terror has been a bleak prospect, though a necessary one, these past three years: regardless of successes in Afghanistan and Iraq, and in decreasing terrorists' power worldwide and defending our own borders against any major attacks since 9/11, there's always been a vague feeling that we weren't going to get out of this without at least a couple of cities, somewhere, going up in a mushroom cloud. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not next year, but within our lifetimes.

I really hope this "Free Muslims" group is for real. Because they've got the right idea, and their position catching on is what our world's future depends upon. They need all the encouragement they can get. And so from them at least, if not from the entire Muslim world yet (for clearly they don't speak for all of it), I say—with full awareness of the gravity implied—"apology accepted".


10:01 - I'm dyin' here...
http://acepilots.com/mt/archives/001216.html

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Just unearthed! Secret memo proving John Kerry was in Cambodia for Christmas!

Thursday, September 9, 2004
14:24 - Sir, we have achieved total meme penetration
http://www.ucomics.com/boondocks/2004/09/09/

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Aaron McGruder once more deftly demonstrates the depth of his logical and critical thinking skills, and his estimation of those of his readers:



Boy, I sure can't wait till the animated version of this stomps its way onto Adult Swim.


10:56 - "Senator, I direct your attention to this damning Flash animation dated March 3, 1971..."
http://littlegreenfootballs.com/weblog/?entry=12526_Bush_Guard_Documents-_Forged

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Boston Globe, CBS, you goddamn putzes.

You call yourselves "journalists".
Wednesday, September 8, 2004
00:46 - Cola Wars '04

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Now, I'm not prepared to make a taste judgment on Coke vs. Pepsi. I've got my own preference, but growing up in the 80s taught me that while Democrats vs. Republicans and Macs vs. PCs might be perfectly reasonable and enjoyable topics for discussion, Coke vs. Pepsi is well beyond the pale for polite conversation.

But I'd just like to note something about the current "half-diet" cola race. Pepsi has Pepsi Edge, and Coke has C2—essentially the same thing, regular cola with half regular sugar and half Splenda. Cool, fine; you get to market it as having half the bad stuff and all the taste of the real thing, and it's totally legit. Perfectly above board.

But look at the two ad campaigns. Coke is marketing C2 as being "half the carbs, half the cals, all the taste" of Coke Classic; the ads show people dancing around and being athletic and having fun. They compare the new product to the original Coke (a tacit disparagement of Diet Coke if I've ever seen one, but that's an aside), and don't even mention Pepsi.

Whereas the Pepsi ad shows a guy with a house full of Coke paraphernalia and collectibles—an irrational zealot—"cheating" on his chosen cola by drinking a Pepsi Edge. And the voice-over says that Pepsi Edge has half the sugar and carbs of Coke.

Not of Pepsi. Of Coke.

Once again, I'm making no value judgments about the relative tastes of these drinks. But one of these ads, it seems to me, is taking a teensy bit of a dishonest tack here.


16:40 - It had to be said

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I didn't even watch the second episode of Father of the Pride; I figured I'd learn everything I needed to know about it from friends within five minutes of it being over anyway, and I was right. As for reaction, I'm hearing quite positive and quite negative, plus everything in between. In other words, the jury's still quite far out.

Now, I know it's silly for me to keep posting about something I don't have that much interest in, but I just have to say something to Siegfried and Roy:

Lose that ridiculous name Sarmoti. Just... drop it. Yes, yes, I get it—it's your little acronym for your show; very cute. But I've seen your show, live... and endlessly braying this nonce word, and using it as a character name in property after property after property, does not magically serve to turn it into a hip cultural meme that kids shout to each other across the schoolyard and get embroidered into their backpacks. It's just not gonna happen. Give it a frickin' rest, all right?

Gyeesh.


15:47 - That's what I'm talkin' 'bout
http://www.opinioneditorials.com/freedomwriters/bstock_20040902.html

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Via B.C.:

On July 29, 2004, it happened. John Forbes Kerry came to the podium at the Democratic Convention and uttered three words that made many Viet Nam vets skin crawl: “Reporting for Duty!” At last the time had come for these long-suffering veterans.

The past was staring back at these wrongly disgraced vets from their television sets. The face it bore was that of John Kerry, the man who had shredded their honor without a thought and climbed over the bodies of their fallen friends to launch a political career. Kerry had stripped them of their dignity the day he sat before Congress in his fatigues and portrayed them as “baby killers” and “murderers.” Kerry did the unspeakable. He had publicly turned on his fellow vets while they were still in harm’s way and American prisoners were still in the hands of the enemy. Kerry accused them all of being out-of-control animals, killing, raping, and pillaging Viet Nam at will. The anti-war movement--the protesters--had their hero and he was a Viet Nam War veteran, an officer, a medal winner, a wounded warrior: John Forbes Kerry.

. . .

All across America, soiled uniforms and memories of being shamed and humiliated have resurfaced and Vietnam vets demand their rightful place in history. John Kerry seems bewildered by the reaction of his “fellow vets.” He has become defensive and angry because now his service and honor are being questioned. Kerry seems oblivious to the pain he caused three decades ago when he stole all honor and dignity from those same “fellow vets” for personal gain. Now he wants to use them again, for the same reason.

All across America, Viet Nam vets are smiling. At last, perhaps they can bury their demons. These angry vets are demanding that this man who sentenced them to being shunned as criminals, tell the world that he was wrong and that he is sorry for what he did to them. Kerry must admit that he lied about them.

For many, it would still not be enough. Satisfaction and hopefully peace will come when Viet Nam vets see and hear John F. Kerry give his concession speech the night of November 2, 2004 with the knowledge that it was their votes that helped defeat him. There are approximately 2.5 million Viet Nam veterans in America and they have not forgotten.

Kerry might serve an invaluable purpose to history after all.


11:15 - Now do it without looking
http://www.voanews.com/article.cfm?objectID=0BBD9B6E-029F-4215-BED81FACC63EF81F&titl

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While the Kerry campaign runs around in circles devouring its own and contradicting itself and throwing bigoted tantrums and covering its tracks, it seems all Bush has to do to gain points in the polls is sit back and ignore the campaign entirely, because if he gets too close all he'll end up doing is getting his hands muddy. But, y'know, sometimes you just can't help yourself... if the ball is at thigh level and just floating in firm and straight, how can you not take a swing?

"When the heat got on in the Democratic primary, he declared himself the anti-war candidate. More recently, he switched again, saying he would have voted for the war even knowing everything we know today. And he woke up yesterday morning with yet another new position. And this one is not even his own. It is that of his one-time rival, Howard Dean. He even used the same words Howard Dean did back when he supposedly disagreed with him."

Talk about bringing a gun to a slap-fight.

Now if only he can do stuff like this in the debates, where the remarks aren't prepared in advance...

Tuesday, September 7, 2004
16:38 - Don't tell me they're losing SA
http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=2362

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SomethingAwful's Lowtax is mad... and he's fun to read when he's mad.

It's very refreshing, too. I love the smell of backlash in the morning.


13:24 - Prank Politician

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First (well, not first, but less recently) there was this, the page where the Kerry campaign helpfully listed all of Bush's accomplishments, with a tacit and unspoken disclaimer that they forgot to include that presumably would have said that they were all lies (including such gems as "John Kerry is Weak on the War" and "Bush Good for Immigrants"), except that instead of bothering to write such a disclaimer, they eventually deleted the page. Sort of. Or not. Who the hell knows.

And then there's this:

"Everybody told me, 'God, if you're coming to Canonsburg, you've got to find time to go to Toy's, and he'll take care of you,'" Mr. Kerry said, dropping the name of a restaurant his motorcade had passed on the way in. "I understand it's my kind of place, because you don't have to - you know, when they give you the menu, I'm always struggling: Ah, what do you want?

"He just gives you what he's got, right?" Mr. Kerry added, continuing steadily off a gangplank of his own making: "And you don't have to worry, it's whatever he's cooked up that day. And I think that's the way it ought to work, for confused people like me who can't make up our minds."

Reynolds says, "Is there anyone running this campaign?" I've been suspecting, for some time now, that this isn't a campaign at all. It's an Ivy League frat party. It's a self-congratulatory bunch of mutual back-slappers who are so convinced they deserve to win the Presidency that none of them has even given any thought to the notion that anyone might need to be convinced of it. It's like a guy with a physics degree applying for a job at Barnes & Noble: "What do you mean, I don't have the qualifications? Haven't you seen my credentials?"

I'd always been under the impression that Presidential campaigns, more so than just about any marketing or PR genre on the planet, were so carefully and spotlessly run, and the candidate so well-rehearsed and groomed and prepped with can't-miss material, that you expected that whichever candidate won, you'd be getting a package as shiny and smoothy shrink-wrapped as to put a Mac box to shame. By comparison, Kerry's looking like a six-year-old Pentium II machine cobbled together from nameless generic junk you found in your garage. Not pretty, but without any substance to redeem its appearance either. If I had to put a name on it, I'd say that Kerry seems to have built himself up with self-aggrandizing fantasy and cadres of sycophants to the point where if things don't go his way, he's too utterly floored by the very possibility that he freezes up and babbles. We already know that he assumed the media wouldn't allow the Swift Vets to score any points against him, so he was staggered when they did; now that his defenses are thrown wide, he's running out of people to blame for these failures, which seem to be coming closer and closer together.

This is just historically inept. Hell, Perot embarrassed himself less often. If I were a Kerry supporter, I'd be so mortified right now I'd be taking down all my bumper stickers and yard signs and planning a nice, long vacation on some island somewhere so I wouldn't have to face my neighbors' stares until all this had blown over.

UPDATE: The man is really beginning to make me nauseous.

The betrayed ghosts of Vietnam are restless and hungry, and this whole election and all its bile might prove to be worth it if by Kerry's sacrifice they can be laid peacefully to rest at last.

UPDATE: Oh, and let's not forget this gem. If Kerry thinks making fun of Southern accents is the way to campaign, John Edwards might not even vote for him.

You know how a twelve-year-old who knows he's in the wrong will "defend" against his opponent by mimicking his speech in a nasal, high-pitched, Cartman-like voice? "You said I could have it this weekend!" "Yyw syyyw yyy haayy yyy wwwkwnd!" Isn't that all that Kerry's defense has turned out to amount to? I mean, how stupefyingly juvenile can you get?


11:04 - How I Spent My Labor Day

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This was a momentous crisscrossing of ley lines on the calendar, because finally—at long last—I've made some headway in getting my custom master suite under control.



These bookshelves are second-hand, bought from a couple of friends who have a mansion in Scotts Valley—seriously, I think their house is too damn big for these shelves or something. But they're very serviceable; quite heavy-duty, attractive, and modular. I can expand them with gear from the Organized Living store at the Valley Fair mall, and I think I'll be doing just that later today, to get a couple more of those short shelves for the stack on the left. I may also see if they have this set in waist-high varieties, so I can add another unit along the arch wall.

When all this is done, I'll have organized all my shelvable goods such that the attractive stuff—large hardcovers, boxed sets, encyclopedias, etc—will be out here on these shelves, with lots of space around them set off by nice bookends that I need to go track down; and the less picturesque stuff, like the software boxes, will go into seclusion in the better hidden bookshelves in my bedroom.

And this is really only the first step of the dressing for this wall. I fancy one of these for the TV to sit on, instead of this too-tall table with all its useless space underneath; that'll bring it down by eight inches and let me make still better use of the shelf space above. And this matching armoire will sit off to the right, solving my clothes-storage problems quite attractively. But that's a $450 outlay all told, and I can wait till next month before plunging. Right now I'm still reveling in the uncommon joy of not having piles of books and boxes and CDs and other assorted crap covering every square inch of carpet in the north side of the room. I can walk around the couch on all sides now! I can sit on the floor! Capri can sprawl in front of the TV, instead of wedging himself between the coffee table and the chair I'm sitting in! Woo-hoo!

I think it's serendipitous how well the stereo unit fits on that shelf, too, don't you? I am so very very happy.

Monday, September 6, 2004
01:24 - I've worked myself into a nice little rut here
http://chrenkoff.blogspot.com/2004/09/all-in-same-eu-boat-part-6.html

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Several acquaintances have mentioned that they might move to Europe if the November elections should go a way they don't approve of; it's so much more "progressive" there, don'tcha know. It's all about the progress. Now crank up that Progressive Rock and pour me a Progress Cola.

They'll find themselves in a paradise where their toilets verbally admonish them to observe proper hygiene practices and castigate them for peeing standing up; and where words like "thin" and "hard-working" are banned from dictionaries because they discriminate against lazy people and mock the underweight.

Some days, to overanalyze the old joke, I'll take Congress over progress in a heartbeat.

UPDATE: And it's from the land of nuance that we get things like this. This must be some of that "humor" stuff that I've heard so much about.

But, hey, I console myself with the knowledge that I know more about the etymological history of the word aluminum than he does.

Sunday, September 5, 2004
16:16 - Just a note on multiculturalism
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/newspaper/0,,176-1247801,00.html

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Via LGF, this one's worth reading.

But it's just an excuse for me to note: when I was in Toronto, the guy driving me to the airport on the last day (in a conversation where I talked about my 1991 trip to Russia, where the only language that we and our host family shared was Spanish, between me and their oldest daughter, making me the interpreter) issued a curious statement:

"My workplace," he said, "is so diverse that I can walk from one end of the office to the other and hear English, French, Hindi, Gujarat, Arabic .... and I'm like, all I speak is English! It's the only way we can communicate... I suck!"

And what I didn't say was: No, you don't suck. If you were, say, to move to another country where you didn't speak the prevailing language, and you didn't bother to LEARN the prevailing language, THEN you would suck.

Maybe I was in a weird mood after being heckled on the sidewalk by Arabic-speaking youths on the way back to my host's apartment, leading to dreams that night wherein old acquaintances of mine had turned out to have converted to Islam and joined al Qaeda, and were now waylaying travelers in mountain passes and mimicking their speech and mocking their clothes from horseback.

Or maybe I shouldn't let strange dreams affect my waking thoughts.

UPDATE: And for God's sake, the word is spelled HAMSTER, not HAMPSTER! Aarrgh! Not even Disney can grasp this. What is so hard about this?!

Damn kids! Get offa my lawn!


15:46 - The sky is green, and all the leaves are blue

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It's easy to see how people get so they don't want to watch TV anymore. Sometimes it gets so that you can't even turn it on without feeling like you're peering into a freakshow, a Stargate to another dimension where everybody behaves according to the most cultured illogic imaginable, like Kirk in that one old Star Trek episode where he and Spock and McCoy foiled the evil robot of the Ron Jeremy villain by dancing around acting as incomprehensibly as possible until its head exploded.

I bring up Star Trek because two nights ago, in the wee hours, an episode came on that I can't imagine anyone even pitching today: The Omega Glory. If you're not familiar with it, just read the synopsis and think about how hard they'd laugh at you if you tried to submit this script in Hollywood today. Imagine what kind of world it must have been in 1968: one where intoning the preamble of the Constitution in a sci-fi show wasn't part of an irony-filled parody of McCarthyism or an indictment of American propaganda as being worse than anything the Stalinist state ever dreamed up. Imagine it being sincere.

For that matter, imagine an age where a utopian idealist like Roddenberry, committed to the idea of the abolishment of money and personal property and national identity, nonetheless produced this episode, which ends with Kirk smiling and exiting as the camera fades out over the faded and tattered Stars and Stripes. It's so cheesy and overdone it's distinctly embarrassing to watch, even for me; how did audiences react to it? I can't even begin to guess, as the concept of a world where a show like this can even be broadcast is utterly alien to my modern eyes. Nothing would surprise me.

Because flipping around the channels, I keep landing on things like Jay Mohr finishing up "Last Comic Standing" with a monologue about how "We'll be back after the Republican convention... yeah, those wacky Republicans..." to raucous catcalls from the audience; and other comics taking the stage to issue tired routines about how Bush stole the election by rigging the polls in Florida with the help of his brother, which elicits deafening cheers from the audience. Now, I know all too well that it's possible to laugh at a funny joke even if you disagree wholeheartedly with the logic underlying its premise. But have I completely lost my ability to find things like that funny? Or is it just that I'm too bowled over by the idea of whole roomfuls of people who see nothing wrong with the comedian's reasoning, and too frightened by that prospect, to toss it off with a giggle?

I wasn't quick enough to the remote on Friday, and the first few seconds of The Daily Show blared behind me before I had a chance to turn it off. Jon Stewart and his comic troupe of reporters were covering the convention, and the first thing they sneered about was how tight the security was—"which shows you just how dangerous they thought WE WERE." Which is such an insultingly disingenuous piece of misleading language as to make me want to claw my eyes out: which convention was it that put all its protesters into a razor-wire-topped "Free Speech Zone" cage? And which one let the protesters run amok in the city? And which convention's protesters mobbed the downtown of the city all week long, causing vandalism and violent attacks and kidnapping flags (and planning much worse, like barrages of urine bombs and throwing marbles under the hooves of mounted cops' horses) until they had to be arrested by the scores, not to mention infiltrating the actual convention to be repeatedly within weapons range of the speakers? "There was a distinct feeling of fear in the air at this convention..." said the reporter, flashing a shot of a big projection screen saying FOR A SAFER AMERICA AND A FREER WORLD or something. And I wonder, just what kind of cataclysm would it take before our lionized and implicitly trusted comedy organs should start to suggest that maybe, just maybe, it's possible to be funny without cramming reality through a garlic press first? That it's possible to entertain without lying? When our first national impulse is to see the word FREE and read it as FEAR, hasn't the spirit of this country become completely obscured and banished from polite discourse? And shouldn't something be done about that?

I mean, just flipping on the radio is fraught with peril these days. I stepped into Lance's car to go get lunch because my own car was boxed in; he has KCBS running, and the only times I hear it are occasions like this. But I can't listen to five minutes of KCBS without hearing something that makes me furious. Last time it was the uncritical, ten-minute long promotion of Fahrenheit 9/11 put on by the on-scene reporters interviewing exiting moviegoers. And this time it was some guy from the "Progressive Democrats of America" (anyone wanna bet his favorite band is Rush?), responding to Henry Kissinger's remarks about the War on Terror by saying that "The way to make America safer is to make friends, not to make new enemies." I wanted to slam on the brakes and scream at the radio: So what you're saying is, we should have made FRIENDS with Saddam? We should be making FRIENDS with Bin Laden? Since when the %^&$ was Iraq a NEW enemy?! ... Not that it would do any good, of course. Just as it would do no good to shout at the author of this cartoon and ask him exactly how it's possible to be neither "with us or with the terrorists". But that's futility in its most distilled form, since we're talking about someone who can make Bush look like some kind of mutant rodent and Kerry resemble a square-jawed superhero, replete with halo and beatific grin.

Maybe I'm doing something to attract things to my senses that infuriate me. Maybe I've got some sort of magnetic field that starts right outside arm's reach that pulls freaky things into view, shows them to me just long enough to make me mad, and then clears them off and makes room for the next one. I really don't know. But if the alternative is sealing myself off in a little box, only to emerge for November 2nd and then re-ensconce myself like a groundhog, I'm not convinced that it's a worse choice. At least as far as my mental health is concerned.

Friday, September 3, 2004
13:56 - I did not use Capri as the model
http://www.imao.us/archives/001877.html

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Frank J. has unveiled the new Chomps t-shirt, with design by yours truly.

Also be sure to look here, here, and here, as Frank chronicles the journey of a dozen sketches that led to the final Chomps. His recollection of the politeness level of the exchange is very much in the "fevered" category, though now in retrospect I wish I'd sent him one joke sketch of, like, a French poodle yapping or something, right about at #10 or so. Ah well.

Best of luck to Frank as the marauding hurricane seeks for his hidden underground base.


11:46 - Now that that's over...

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I didn't see Bush's speech live, but here's the transcript, and CapLion and Stephen Green (among others) liveblogged it. Sounds like it was a pretty good one, with some really choice moments (Bush winking at a protester being dragged out of the hall? Jokes about his own walking and speaking abilities?); I'll have to catch the video tonight.

Then apparently Kerry came on stage somewhere at midnight to issue this oh-so-measured response:

"We all saw the anger and distortion of the Republican Convention. For the past week, they attacked my patriotism and my fitness to serve as commander in chief. Well, here's my answer. I'm not going to have my commitment to defend this country questioned by those who refused to serve when they could have and by those who have misled the nation into Iraq.

The vice president even called me unfit for office last night. I guess I'll leave it up to the voters whether five deferments makes someone more qualified to defend this nation than two tours of duty.

Let me tell you what I think makes someone unfit for duty. Misleading our nation into war in Iraq makes you unfit to lead this nation. Doing nothing while this nation loses millions of jobs makes you unfit to lead this nation. Letting 45 million Americans go without health care makes you unfit to lead this nation. Letting the Saudi royal family control our energy costs makes you unfit to lead this nation. Handing out billions of government contracts to Halliburton while you're still on their payroll makes you unfit. That's the record of George Bush and Dick Cheney. And it's not going to change. I believe it's time to move America in a new direction; I believe it's time to set a new course for America."

So let's see here: Kerry's already said that he himself would have gone into Iraq if the decision had been his; I guess he's saying he's just as unfit to lead as Bush, huh? Brilliant move. Does Kerry have ADD or something? How can he contradict everything he says so breezily, so regularly? Does he maybe just honestly not remember what he himself said?

Cheney's four student deferments make him unfit to defend the nation. Or maybe it was the one he got because he'd just become a father. Got it. And Bush was only in the National Guard; he didn't actually blow himself up throwing a grenade into a rice stash or get a thumbtack in his ass or anything medalworthy like that. From now on, only people who fought in Vietnam are capable of making military decisions for this country. Right, Clinton?

And from there one just has to wonder whether Kerry actually researched any of the barbs he flung at midnight, or if he knows full well that he's being disingenuous, but trusts the American people to be too stupid and the news media to be too biased for him ever to get called on it. For instance, Kerry must understand that Cheney is not on Halliburton's payroll; he has deferred compensation, on terms that were laid out at the plan's inception such that the amount he gets paid cannot change regardless of Halliburton's corporate fortunes; and on top of that, he gives all his deferred compensation income to charity. Does Kerry not know this? Or does he just hope people will blindly believe him without looking up the facts?

Facts, Mr. Kerry, appear to be your enemy. Holy damn, though—you need to listen to your handlers once in a while.

Everybody has weighed in on Kerry's little diatribe, focusing on one point and another: Ann Althouse finds it disturbing that Kerry's response to questions about his leadership abilities is to say that he will not have any such questions. Boy, that sounds like a guy I want to have accountable for running the country. And "pouncer" in Stephen Green's comments points out the idiocy of conflating "health care" with "health insurance", as well as of suggesting that anyone who doesn't stand up to the Saudis on oil matters is unfit to be President—which includes everybody who's been in office since OPEC was formed. But Kerry doesn't have to come out and say, somehow, that his presidency would "put the Saudis in their place", or whatever we're to assume the alternative is. It's sufficient, apparently for the New York Times and the rest of the media machine, for him to say things like "People die of cancer" and "Not everybody on the planet is happy", and everybody just implicitly understands that the only thing standing in the way of unspoken, ineffable solutions to those things is that John Kerry is not President yet.

Is there anything he said last night that wasn't a stupid, easily deflated conspiracy-theory-ridden canard? If that's what Kerry's running on now, I've got another word for it: fumes.

Oh, but MoveOn.org has already proclaimed, shockingly enough, that Bush's speech was a failure and Kerry's was a hard-hitting masterpiece:

Republicans hoped that their convention would strike a ringing tone that would echo through the media for the next week. But between the speakers' nastiness and belligerence, John Kerry's swift and tough response, and our hard work, the momentum they're banking on is nowhere to be seen.

At a midnight rally last night, John Kerry stood up to Bush's attacks. "For the past week, they attacked my patriotism and even my fitness to serve as commander in chief," he said. "Here is my answer to them: I will not have my commitment to defend this country questioned by those who refused to serve when they could have and who misled America into Iraq."[1]

Now that the convention bubble has burst, we have an opportunity today to focus the media on the soap scum that remains. Commentators have been surprised at how ruthlessly negative and bitter the convention was - from the Purple Heart band-aids that Karl Rove's mentor handed out on the stadium floor [2] to Zell Miller's rabid attack on John Kerry [3]. Whether or not that perception solidifies into conventional wisdom depends on the conversation in the nation's editorial pages, where our letters to the editor can make a big difference. We've loaded up our letter to the editor tool with all the information and talking points you need to write a letter -- all it takes is a few minutes of your time.

"Letter to the editor tool". Could it be any more perfect? I'm gonna go call someone that right now.

UPDATE: Oh, and eat this, MoveOn.org.

Wednesday, September 1, 2004
11:31 - That's what I get for not watching the news
http://opinion.telegraph.co.uk/opinion/main.jhtml?xml=/opinion/2004/09/01/do0102.xml

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JMH sends this Telegraph editorial by former Vietnam protester Janet Daley, titled "In the 1960s, we marched for a reason":

But the biggest difference between then and now, of course, is that we marched against our government when it supported dictators, not when it removed them. The logic of the anti-Vietnam War movement was that America, in its ferocious determination to hold back the spread of communism, was prepared to back the tyrannical Diem regime in South Vietnam even to the extent of thwarting democratic elections when they threatened to put communists into power.

Our complaint was that America's foreign policy was deeply hypocritical and self-serving: committed unswervingly to democracy and liberty at home, while supporting any murderous despot abroad who was prepared to be "our son of a bitch" rather than the other side's. The ultimate paradox is that the country that still behaves in this way - prepared to do business with pretty much any murderous regime or criminal dictator who will cater to its interests - is France: the nation that today's anti-war protesters regard as the epitome of wisdom and restraint.

But the "warmonger" Bush, supported by the "liar" Blair, is doing precisely the opposite in Iraq, where a peculiarly vicious tyrant has been overthrown and subsequently arrested with due legal process, in the hope - idealistic and even naïve, perhaps, but unquestionably sincere - of introducing democracy and freedom to his country.

She also describes the televised back-and-forth between John McCain and Michael Moore thus:

I watched Michael Moore's buffoon-ish reaction when he was attacked by John McCain at the Republican convention, over and over again yesterday.

Fox News showed it repeatedly, probably figuring that the sight of Moore behaving like a snotty 10-year-old defying the headmaster was the best gift the anti-war movement had presented to George W Bush since Howard Dean's "I Have a Scream" speech. (The BBC, which also ran it time after time, was presumably just overcome with admiration.)

And as I watched this puerile performance from a man who is regarded as the spiritual leader of American, and now British, conscientious protest, I thought "Has it come to this?" Is this how it ends, the great modern tradition of American dissidence launched by my generation of students in the 1960s?

I'd love to know what gestures Moore offered the camera (though I suppose I can guess). Time for me to do some Googling...

Tuesday, August 31, 2004
23:47 - Happy thoughts

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After one thing and another, and the post from Monday night, and reading the work of the true master (start there and read the whole week—it's prime cuts), I've come to the conclusion that I'm rapidly sliding down a slippery slope of negativity, where to read these posts here, one would easily be forgiven for thinking that I hated everything except for Macs and Capri. So I'm gonna have to do something about that.

I don't know what, though. I imagine it'll have something to do with trying harder to find things to be happy about, like when I used to write about clouds and architecture and stuff. I guess that won't be too hard, right? My memory's not that truncated.

Or so we'll see. And for the record, I'd like to say that the Monday post notwithstanding, my vacation totally rocked. Seriously. And it's worth mentioning, though I had avoided it for fear of committing some grievous national-security faux pas, that I shared a cabin with a guy serving in the Army unit in charge of Camp Delta at Guantánamo Bay. He had some stories to tell, mostly to do with how ridiculously lacking in fact or reality the media's stories about life at Gitmo have all been. I think he may have disseminated a bit of sanity and wisdom through osmosis, too. And I hope we conveyed plenty of appreciation to him, as much as I hope he had a good and restful vacation before he ships back to his post there as soon as he gets home.

So, yeah. Sorry about the last few weeks, everybody. I'm gonna do better.

Monday, August 30, 2004
23:24 - How do these computor things work again?

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Well, I'm back from my annual bout of masochistic globetrotting, and boy am I glad to be home. And not just because I spent the plane trip weeding through my downloaded e-mail offline, to synchronize later, so I didn't have to do it as the first thing after falling in through the front door (well, second, the first being to attend to a dog whose initial reaction is Brian's home? WAAAALK!).

I mean, it's a fun event and all, and there are lots of great friends to catch up with, and Toronto's becoming as familiar to me as any other city I've spent any significant amount of time in; I'd say I know it at least as well as LA by now. But you know, there's really only so many jokes that I can listen to at an improv show that start out with the portentious word Florida as one of the seeds, and end with the inevitable surreal Bush imitations and dark guffaws about American culture. It's gotten to the point where it all feels like a sitcom where I know the writer from high school, and wasn't very impressed with what he wrote in my yearbook.

Highlights of the clench-teeth-and-smile variety include:

  • Guy hosting a small friendly burger barbecue (three or four friends) in a rural suburb of Toronto, randomly interrupting a nice rational discussion of Predator and Die Hard movies with a rant about pop culture (and once again I swear I hear the word "culture" more times during ten minutes in Canada than I do all month down here, and it always refers to some ominous apparition going booga-booga-booga from down South) that ended with him sticking a finger in my face and saying, "And that's why your country is going down the tubes." Um, thanks for the valuable insight, but if this is included in the price of a burger up here, I'll stick with the hot dogs, thanks.

  • An animated conversation about anime and five-man/sentai shows (e.g. Power Rangers and its myriad Japanese antecedents) in which one of my intrepid friends dared to suggest that such shows had their roots in Thunderbirds; the person on the other end of the conversation, an American visitor of the well-represented school of "Anything created by my country is evil and everything Japanese is God", reacted with shock, horror, and abject disbelief. "I'm gonna want to see some proof of that! I don't believe it... I don't want to believe it!" When it was pointed out that Thunderbirds was a British show and not an American one, she sat back on the couch and exhaled in profound relief. "Oh! That's okay then. I feel much better."

  • Endless sniffings from an old friend of mine from college who's ended up in this social circle, who is thoroughly taken with communist chic such as coffee shops done up in Che Guevara motifs and who uses terms like bourgeoisie and the masses and capitalist consumerist whores in casual conversation; they wear on me, somehow. And I know he's smart, too. First-hand. It's like watching a star athlete waste away on smack.

  • Watching Oscar-winning French-Canadian animated movies in which "Belleville" ("The Beautiful City", I get it, ho ho) is a sneering burlesque of New York, populated by dimwitted blimp-sized pedestrians, greedy gambling-besotted industrialists, and gargantuan cheeseburgers purveyed by bulbous and heartless dive waitresses under the beatific gaze of a morbidly obese Statue of Liberty bearing aloft a bowl of ice cream. And agéd Depression-era stage singers in their dotage eat frogs that they have killed with bombs. Hey, keep working on your experimental film, Strong Sad.

  • Spending the car trip there and back again with a couple of guys from Boston who, upon passing a Wal-Mart near Algonquin Park, flew into transports of righteous rage at what, in their words, is "everything that's wrong with corporate America, all wrapped up in one company". Maybe, maybe not. But my telekinetic abilities to prevent people from issuing growled complaints about the US to what they think is a receptive audience by simply sitting and concentrating with a constipated look on my face seems to be on the fritz.

  • Newspapers in the Toronto airport terminal on the way home tonight with gigantic-font headlines over pictures of cops wielding batons over mob scenes: Anti-Bush Forces Take New York! I'm not even slightly kidding.

    Oh, but I can only sigh and ruefully laugh. I mean, what harm can there be? What reason should I have to worry? Why not just go with the flow, suck it up, take it like a man? It builds character, right? I mean, I know as well as anyone that "Please do not knock the land that I love" is only cute when Apu says it. I know my place.

    I guess I just dunno. But I can't help but think that for a bunch of gay guys, very few of them would appreciate the irony that it wasn't until I was an American in Canada that I felt anywhere near as much like Tom Hanks in Philadelphia, obliged to sit and force a smile and endure faggot jokes from executive peers in the sauna.

    Anyway: Jiggety-jig, and all that. I've got some sleeping to catch up on.

    UPDATE: Oh yes... pursuant to the earlier-mentioned observations on airlines cancelling their in-flight meals as a cost-cutting measure and letting the airport concessions take up the slack (a trend the market seems well-poised to support), I have to note that America West's "pay on board" food service, where you order from a menu of pre-made meals and pay $5-7, is friggin awesome for airline food. Hot roast beef sandwich with fontina cheese, a bag of potato chips, and a gargantuan cookie, just as an example of something I liked so much I skipped eating in the airport so as to order it on two separate legs of the trip. It's a far cry from the turkey-slice-and-Dijonnaise-on-a-dinner-roll-and-a-minute-scrawny-apple-and-water-in-a-little-plastic-tub that passes for a "meal" on some airlines these days...

    UPDATE: I rather regret posting this; much of it really isn't fair, especially considering how good a time I had this past week, on the whole. I'm not in the habit of deleting things, so... I guess it would be best for everybody who's, um, already read this post to just sort of erase it from your neurons, or something.

  • Saturday, August 21, 2004
    07:13 - Back into the all-concealing shadows I go

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    Reminder: I'm on vacation until 8/30. For real this time.

    Friday, August 20, 2004
    14:38 - Is Kerry still here?

    (top)
    It's been interesting getting caught up on the Kerry campaign goings-on in the three days I was gone. I got an e-mail from MoveOn.org lambasting Bush for "not condemning the Swift Vets ad while he himself had been absent from service during a period of his National Guard years" or some such. To the best of my recollection, Bush never even said anything definitive about the "AWOL" accusations; he just released some pay stubs and let the issue play out. But now all the accusations against him are taunts trying to get him to talk about issues that he has no reason to talk about, and which if he were to talk about them would likely deflate all the premises upon which the accusations are founded. MoveOn.org and its like have convinced themselves that Bush's National Guard service is just as important as Kerry's Vietnam tour, even though Bush has never even mentioned it as a campaign point and Kerry's done nothing but talk about Vietnam; now they're calling Bush a hypocrite for "attacking" Kerry (by saying nothing), which he isn't, on grounds that he himself "claims an advantage on" (military service), which he doesn't.

    My guess is, Bush is just watching Kerry's tour schedule so he can be sure he's outside the minimum safe distance when Kerry finally goes nova.

    When I get back home again ten days from now, I'm sure I'll have a lot to digest.


    14:10 - Modern art
    http://www.reason.com/0408/bagge.shtml

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    Wow.

    Don't nobody miss Peter Bagge's homage to Modern Art.

    I have a feeling I'll be forwarding this URL to a lot of people...


    11:46 - Odds and ends

    (top)
    I just gotta say: the Minneapolis/St. Paul Airport has got to be right at the top of the list of Most Excellent Airports that I've seen.

    It's just opened what can only be described as a mall inside an airport; it's called "Northstar Crossing", and the usual concourse direction signs all but vanish amongst the brightly-lit stimuli of a familiar mall interior, featuring all the usual name stores from T.G.I. Fridays to Starbucks to full-featured bookstores. The main food court has a long, long plate glass window that faces onto the sunset, and we happened to be there just as the sun was setting; it streamed in over hundreds of happy diners and glinted off a stone waterfall on the back wall, under icons of the four seasons. I got a pre-wrapped deli sandwich that may as well have been marketed as a Caprese salad on focaccia; grilled chicken with fresh sliced mozzarella and ripe tomato and some leafy greens. All it needed was kalamata olives and some sundried tomatoes, and there you are...

    The main concourse, too, was full of hip restaurants and lined with moving walkways as well as a tram that shuttled the length of the wing of the airport; just outside our gate there was a kids' play area, an interactive online demonstration of ethanol fuel, and an automat-like Bose Wave Radio demo kiosk, which not only let you test-drive the omnipresent device—but you could put in your credit card, which would unlock one of the doors in the display so you could take home your own unit.

    That's right: you can now buy consumer electronics from vending machines. How's that for progress, huh?


    Anyway: there's a great deal to be said, as I've increasingly come to suspect, for the small-town Midwestern life. People are born, live, work, marry, raise kids, grow old, and die in towns like Litchfield, Illinois not because they're stupid or provincial, but because they know they've got something good going on right there; traveling the world doesn't shake that conviction, it only reinforces a wisdom that those of us who leap impetuously into the urban unknown often lack. Sure, we might end up writing web browsers or becoming movie stars; but is that really any different an impact on the world, or more positive, than starting a ramifying family that spreads out from coast to coast, yet comes back home to Litchfield once all has been said and done?

    Some of us bohemian intellectuals will consider it unfortunate that the much-celebrated sense of community present in these small towns is religious in nature. Whole towns, they'll sniff, full of people caught up in a mass delusion that lasts them their whole lives. Well, call it that if it makes it seem less threatening or more palatable, I suppose, or if you really enjoy finding reasons to look down on people. But seeing roomfuls of octogenarians all of whom know my name and whole life history, and "Ladies' Auxiliaries" producing tablefuls of food and desserts so that the family at the center of everything hardly has to take care of a thing, leaves one wondering exactly what some people's problem is. At least every one of these folks knows how to read sheet music, thanks to the hymnals. At least the kids learn how to be quiet and pay attention, without the aid of Ritalin. And at least it takes place in a nice air-conditioned building. What other function could draw so many people together for so many years, making everybody's kids into the kids of the entire town? If it takes a village to raise a child, it sure as heck doesn't take a suburb.


    And I suppose I should mention that halfway between Litchfield and St. Louis, there's a very tall FREEDOM IS NOT FREE — VOTE BUSH 2004 billboard, and the landscape is dotted with barns painted with huge flags and slogans. Whatever motives or justifications one might ascribe to those who put these things up, I think—I think—that I do in fact prefer it to this:



    That's the flag that appeared shortly after 9/11 on the hillside in the Sunol Grade summit on I-680, northeast of Fremont in the East Bay. It's quite inaccessible; someone would have had to drive down from Berkeley or wherever, get off at Vargas or Sheridan Road, trek up onto the hillside, climb a couple of fences, and do this. It takes a certain amount of dedication and self-assurance that what they're doing is right.

    And it's been like this, in view of millions of motorists, without being cleaned up, for... how long?

    This wouldn't happen in some parts of the country.

    Tuesday, August 17, 2004
    07:48 - Family Matters

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    And because it does, I'm going to be away from net access for the next three days, until Thursday night.

    And after that begins my actual vacation, which lasts until 8/30. So I wouldn't expect too many entries until that day, if I were you.

    I could use the sleep anyway...

    Monday, August 16, 2004
    13:22 - Credit where it's due

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    I've got friends (or, more accurately, friends of friends) who refuse to read any items from National Review Online, when directed there in an argument. After all, everybody knows how biased that site is—it's a freaky right-wing warmongers' magazine, right?

    Funny, then, that Byron York of NRO has taken it upon himself to debunk the latest attack on John Kerry's credibility, the one about David Alston not serving with Kerry on his boat. Seems he did after all, if briefly. And York's article, while bringing up still more details that could stand clarification, is a model of what journalism is supposed to be: facts that answer questions, with editorializing kept to a bare minimum. Pretty good for an editorial.

    Those wily wingnuts. What nefarious scheme will they come up with next?

    Meanwhile, MoveOn.org is sending out frantic e-mails urging members to call on President Bush to denounce the Swift Vets' ad. It describes the ad as a vicious piece of slander, quotes a few of the vets' lines, and then demands that it be removed from the public eye.

    Not a word, of course, to counter whether the vets' claims might be true. None are needed.

    Friday, August 13, 2004
    15:00 - Sick juxtapositions
    http://www.myrtlebeachonline.com/mld/myrtlebeachonline/news/nation/9389287.htm

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    In this story linked by Glenn, I just couldn't help but notice this:



    Oh, yeah, put me down for a gross.

    Do you take payment in oil?


    14:17 - That's what happens when you get your memory from Sears — Sears
    http://www.captainsquartersblog.com/mt/archives/002242.php

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    Boy. if this one turns out to be true ....

    Hmm.

    Sooner or later, the people who have decided to vote against Bush because they believe he has an honesty problem are going to have to come to grips with a demonstrably worse alternative.


    13:37 - Shows work, needs thought
    http://www.americanthinker.com/articles.php?article_id=3746

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    Actually this article does bring up a pretty good discussion, and does so in a well-argued way. It's all about enfranchisement, really, and whether now that we've done away with barriers to voting such as sex and race (and, if some people get their way, age, citizenship status, criminal history, and species), we should think about instituting a few subjective criteria to narrow down who should be allowed to make political decisions in this democracy.

    Namely, that people who are too apathetic to vote shouldn't be allowed to.

    A pretty incendiary thought, but at least the author's got some reasoning behind it. He says that the "Rock the Vote"-style ad campaigns currently running on MTV and Comedy Central (which I mentioned last night) are playing a dangerous game with a delicate balance: they're appealing to the uninformed to convince them to vote like they're informed.

    You know, this all begs an interesting question: what does it tell you about a group’s agenda and ideas if it thinks that it has a vested interest in getting out the idiot vote?  That’s just a little food for thought for those whose drive to vote originates from within.  But remember, if someone doesn’t want to vote, it’s probably for a very good reason. And, most of all, remember that when the wrong people choose, we all lose.

    I disagree with this for a number of reasons, foremost among which is that, hey, I watch Comedy Central, thankyouverymuch, and so—I imagine—do a lot of people who would likely qualify as "informed". The audience selection criteria for ads on cable channels are not limited to "gullible idiots". Furthermore, acting as though they are betrays—or rather confirms—an elitism that the author is quite explicit in admitting. If being able to do a quadratic equation or explain the electoral college is to be a prerequisite for voter registration, we'll be selecting for the segment of voters who are either snooty academics in a moral miasma, or total political cranks—and disenfranchising anyone who votes on their heart's impulse, which is not altogether a bad thing.

    However, that said—check out Stephen Green's response, and the addenda by his commenters. I don't agree with all of them either, but... they sure are worth a cathartic chuckle or two.


    11:24 - That's the best you can do?
    https://www.moveonpac.org/donate/switchad_winners.html

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    You have got to be kidding me. This is the winner of MoveOn.org's contest to solicit anti-Bush ads?

    Ads, I might add, that are apparently intended to parody Apple's "Switch" campaign (which has now been consigned to the dustbin of marketing history)?



    You know, this throws a lot of suspicion on the authenticity of the "Real People" in Apple's ads... because they were all quite poised in front of the camera, with dynamic voices, good enunciation, and well-organized thoughts.

    What the hell's this guy's problem?

    There can be no doubt that he's a "real person", because he's nervous as all hell, he speaks in a monotone, and what he obviously thinks is a devastating tale of political malfeasance reads like the mutterings of Milton from Office Space.

    It's so bad at making its point that the ad almost serves as a satire of war opponents. "W-w-we were told there there were all these weaponsofmassdestruction! But w-where are they? We looked all over! They weren't there! It's-it-it was all a lie!"

    Guy sounds so unsure of himself that five minutes in a coffeeshop with a laptop ought to be sufficient for a concerned friend to help him debunk whatever canards like this one that he twitchily believes. Yet, somehow, this story appealed enough to MoveOn.org to make it their pick of the litter.

    At this late stage in the debate, can MoveOn.org honestly still not comprehend what the war was all about, or appreciate the irony of millions of Iraqis too busy enjoying their newfound freedom to give a rat's left asscheek about whether we found weaponsofmassdestruction or not? Or in light of John Kerry's admission that were he President, he would have gone into Iraq too, even if he'd known that no weaponsofmassdestruction would be found, realize that believing that Saddam posed a threat to the world's peace and security was not a lie, but at worst an overreliance on faulty intelligence data by all the world's leaders dating back through Clinton?

    They can't be that dense. They have to understand the logical fallacies in what they're peddling. No human could be this relentlessly stupid. Even as part of a large online group.

    They have to instead be cynically trying to manipulate what they see as the intellectual weakness of the gullible American public; if they just harp on the word "lie" often enough, eventually no amount of proof positive will dissipate it. It's a rule that Lenin and Stalin and Goebbels knew all too well, because after all, it does work.

    Dean says:

    As I watched it I thought, "I can't believe they're that stupid." My friend John of Weekend Pundit chuckled and said, "but they are. It's because they firmly believe most of America feels as they do." I laughed nervously, but I had to wonder if he wasn't right.


    Can my faith that the American people won't be so easily duped be enough to justify my not undergoing a severe nervous meltdown between now and November? I sure hope so.

    Thursday, August 12, 2004
    21:51 - Did they just say what I think they said?

    (top)
    So Comedy Central is running various "register to vote" ads whose purpose is painfully transparent (they didn't, after all, do this in 2000). But one of them is just a tiny bit unsettling...

    It's got South Park clips in the background. The narrator says: It may take a village to raise a child... but it takes a small mountain town to raise a President! —And Cartman, dressed as Hitler, yells "Forward march!" and leads the townspeople in an angry mob down the street toward the camera.

    Go to ComedyCentral.com and choose your dictator—er, president.

    Um... yeah, whatever you say...


    10:03 - What he really wants to do is direct
    http://instapundit.com/archives/017139.php

    (top)
    Does this count as "Kerry Derangement Syndrome"? Is making this big a deal out of what's becoming clear is a baldfaced, premeditated lie with great repercussions the equivalent of going into hysterics over Bush's National Guard record or accusing him of "lying" about Iraq's WMDs?

    I've seen people lately acting horrified that there are intelligent and thoughtful bloggers "taking the Swift Vets seriously". As though their very nature as an "attack" group renders their cause laughworthy.

    Well, so far it looks like they're batting better than .500, and Kerry can't seem to come up with a rational or coherent defense.

    Looks like that American Spectator blurb from a couple of days ago was accurate: beyond Fox News, the press is in full cover-up mode for Kerry on this one.

    Yo, Media: Your candidate has apparently lied, repeatedly, over the last 30 years. He did so to embellish his credentials, and in the pursuit of various political ends. His campaign is putting out false spin that doesn't pass the laugh test. Does this say anything at all about his fitness for higher office?

    (Will Collier)

    The Jon Stewarts of the world will now say, "Well, okay, sure, he lied—but hey, you've got a lot of nerve, saying his lies make him unfit to lead, while you make excuses for or ignore Bush's much worse lies!" Pause for laughter and applause.

    Well, let's leave aside for a moment the relative veracity of the "lie" claims for both men, and the relative seriousness of each. This argument is shining a spotlight on whether we want to claim the moral high ground by not "stooping to the same level" as the Bush-haters. It's about deciding what character flaws are acceptable and ignorable, and what deeds cannot go overlooked.

    I don't give a crap about reported marital problems or daughters with see-through gowns. Those won't impact his ability to be an effective President. (Unless, of course, they end up consuming his entire attention the way Monica did Bill.) But I do care, quite deeply in fact, about Kerry's seeming inability to admit to any fault or wrongdoing, his history of inconsistency on key issues and absenteeism from Senate votes, and his rapidly unraveling contention that Vietnam made him any kind of a better person than he was before.

    These are key character traits highlighted by events. They deserve scrutiny if we're to understand what makes this man tick.

    In short: if the lessons he learned in the Mekong Delta were "Hey, these medals are a ticket to a great political career—gimme more" and "Could you guys just got about your business while I film you? It's for a documentary I'm making... for later" and "I can make up horrible stories that damage the President and the country's will to continue to fight"... well, I don't think a damned thing he learned is likely to help us win the War on Terror.

    He seems to think that his Vietnam service will help him be taken seriously as a wartime President. I see no evidence that he thinks his Vietnam service will help him be a wartime President. I don't think the latter interests him.

    This Presidency, to him, looks more and more like the culmination of a thirty-year piece of elaborate political theater Kerry's been putting on—Act Three of the self-absorbed narrative of his life, where the moral of the story is that our military is stupid and gullible and quick to turn to barbarity, that a President who orders our troops into battle is usually harboring sinister motives that betray the trust of honest military heroes like him, that American armed response to global problems is always misguided, that America has a lot to learn from its European betters, and that the American people are little more than a passive, popcorn-eating audience who want to see a happy ending, with the Stars and Stripes flying on the same pole as the French Republic's banner under a sky-blue pennant whipping in the wind at the top, set against the Arc de Triomphe on a sunny day as the credits roll.

    It's no coincidence, it seems, that Kerry delivered many of his statements about his war experience by comparing it to Apocalypse Now.

    True students of history know that history isn't a narrative... it's just a series of events and responses, events and responses. People deal with these things as they go. They can't foresee what will happen ten pages further into the book. However, what makes them adaptable enough to respond to those new events when they come is that they don't realize they're in a book—they aren't tempted to think they see the end of a chapter coming, or a set of reading comprehension questions, or a forced echo of some piece of narrative foreshadowing that occurred three chapters ago. If the people in the book start thinking they're in a book, they do things like film themselves at war and make up salacious stories of wrongdoing to try to discredit our motives and sap our national resolve during times of trial.

    Understanding these things about John Kerry relies upon giving the full due weight to issues that come up like the accusations of the Swift Vets. One may not like they method with which they've come forward (though we have to remember, these guys aren't just out to re-elect Bush—they've been active for months, trying to get some other Democrat nominated rather than Kerry; their beef is with Kerry himself, not with "anybody but Bush"); but if we ignore their testimony, even if it's true, just because it arrives in an ugly fashion, we risk not understanding what drives the man who would transform this nation from what it's become under Bush, playing out the climactic act of his Great American Novel, with himself as the redeemed, vanquishing tragic hero.

    Somehow I don't think the story would turn out the way he wishes it would.

    UPDATE: Keep on tranglin, Boston Strangler.

    Wednesday, August 11, 2004
    01:07 - Back out of the woodwork
    http://www.moveonplease.org/

    (top)
    Wow. So National Lampoon still exists, huh?

    And it looks like they've suddenly become quite busy indeed... and with something whose time appears at last to have come: a full-scale parody of MoveOn.org, complete with a full trailer for a spoof of Fahrenheit 9/11.

    And here I was starting to despair of anybody but the Left being able to use satire and sarcasm to their advantage this year. Thanks, National Lampoon—my faith in humanity is beginning to ebb back...

    Thanks also to Combustible Boy for pointing this out and soothing my soul.


    00:58 - So this is the "Arab Street", is it?
    http://www.techcentralstation.com/081104C.html

    (top)
    Boy, stories of cultural contact don't get a lot more disarming than this one, do they?

    Every place in Tunis was friendly.

    A waiter at the Café de Paris on Avenue Habib Bourguiba: "I cannot take any money from you."

    Another waiter, at a different café: "You must come back. I need to see you before you go."

    A random man on the street who only stopped to say hi: "America and Tunisia." He made two fists and placed them next to each other. "Friends."

    Let's not go nuking any Meccas, hmm?


    14:11 - I mock your pain
    http://www.ucomics.com/boondocks/2004/08/11/

    (top)


    Misuse the word "fact" and I laugh giddily when things don't go your way.

    Hee hee hee hee heeeee!


    13:52 - Roll call
    http://vodkapundit.com/archives/006417.php

    (top)
    Looks like it's time to stand up and be counted, eh? Look what Will Collier found in ABC News' "The Note" section:

    Forget the fact that that we still can't find a single American who voted for Al Gore in 2000 who is planning to vote for George Bush in 2004. (If you are that elusive figure, e-mail us and tell us who you are and why: politicalunit@abcnews.com.)

    I sent mine.

    UPDATE: And I got a response, from a Lisa Todorovich at ABC, who says that earlier editions of "The Note" have resulted in torrents of e-mails from people accusing them of shilling for the White House. So I'm supposed to check their archives and judge it on balance. Um, okay... this is the same "The Note" that said that "Like every other institution, the Washington and political press corps ... [believe] that liberal political positions on social issues like gun control, homosexuality, abortion, and religion are the default, while more conservative positions are "conservative positions", right? Though from that piece's tone, it appears that they're actually bemoaning the situation, so this aspersion may well be unfair to them.

    In fact, if anyone writes in, don't make the error I did and accuse The Note of contributing to the problem of media bias—the more I look at it, the more it appears they're quite well balanced after all.

    Tuesday, August 10, 2004
    18:38 - At last, a real plastic turkey
    http://www.talkingpresidents.com/products-af-bush-td.shtml

    (top)
    Now that just damn well rocks.

    TalkingPresidents.com is anything but a politically unslanted company, as even an embarrassingly brief perusal of their site will reveal; but at least their renditions of Bush are smiling, unlike the dour and grim KB Toys version of the "Top Gun" figurine. In this case, it's particularly appropriate.

    Regardless of how the trip was viewed politically, it will become a piece of our nation's history. It spurred a wave of patriotism here at home among many on Thanksgiving Day 2003. His appearance before the troops boosted the morale of many of our soldiers. Bush's sense of humor was clearly visible as he said, "I was just looking for a warm meal somewhere." Then he showed his appreciation for our soldiers saying, "Thanks for inviting me to dinner...I can't think of a finer group of folks to have Thanksgiving dinner with than you all."

    It was a damned gutsy stunt, one that put him in very real danger, every bit as much as the tailhook carrier landing did—and while people found they could deride the "Mission Accomplished" stunt by smirking over how many soldiers had died since the banner was unfurled on the Lincoln, the best anyone could do to discredit the Thanksgiving event was to scoff that the turkey was "plastic".

    Well, it wasn't. But now it is, and it takes a severely hardened heart not to stir at the thought of an action figure commemorating a piece of real-life action heroism.

    I'm not about to claim that Bush's presidency has been faultless or sparkling. Far, far from it. But it's had its moments, and this was one of them.


    11:42 - I knew I'd see the magic picture if I stared long enough

    (top)
    So I was idly perusing earlier posts from this week (yeah, I'm obsessive that way), and since I well know that taking a break of a day or so from a piece of visual art can completely change your take on it, I gave this post another look. The one about the German Subway tray-liner advertising, which LGFers had been arguing over whether it constituted a satiric depiction of 9/11.



    Many LGF readers didn't follow the original link and didn't see the picture. But many eventually did; and of those who did, most agreed that it isn't a 9/11 parody—but others still maintained that it was. I wasn't sure what to make of that; it doesn't much look like it to me. It looks more like the burger is being depicted as Godzilla. It's a stupid way to parody 9/11, if that's what the artist's intention was. The latter interpretation mystified me.

    But just now I realized: it all depends on which direction you see the burger as traveling.

    I was seeing it moving from right to left, emerging from the buildings, and sort of "rearing up".

    The people who see 9/11 in it are probably seeing the burger as moving from left to right, which would indicate that it's crashing down at an angle, leaving burning destruction in its wake.

    This interpretation only just now occurred to me; for a minute or two I told myself that it didn't affect the overall message, that it didn't matter how I saw the burger's movement occurring—the artist sure gave us plenty of ambiguity. But on further reflection... no, if you see the burger coming in from the left, this picture immediately becomes a whole lot more alarming.

    It may not have been intentional; I still maintain that whatever the artist was paid for this contract job, Subway got ripped off. But I can certainly see the source of confusion now, and at the very least Subway should have been a little more circumspect in considering how at least one or two people in the ad division must have interpreted the picture.

    This still just makes them careless, rather than deliberately offensive.

    I think.


    10:58 - Oncologist to the world
    http://vodkapundit.com/archives/006406.php

    (top)
    Stephen Green has posted a good stiff dose of perspective and foresight.

    Oh, how I wish it were possible for our government to explain it to us in these terms.


    09:41 - Morning brings no relief
    http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0895260174/qid=1092155457/sr=8-1/ref=p

    (top)
    Its sales rank at Amazon is #1... but check this out:



    Editorial review? Editorial review?! What the hell?

    McCain's quote is a public slam on the people who appeared in the Swift Vets' ad. Not a review of the book.

    What in the crap has happened to this planet? Bush Derangement Syndrome has so gripped the country that all the major online booksellers try to sabotage an anti-Kerry book? This is utterly insane.

    (Thanks to Jaed for noticing this.)

    And meanwhile, the Swift Vets have made it onto The Daily Show, where Jon Stewart has dubbed them "Operation Vet Offensive". Ho ho. And he shows the McCain quote, then follows it with the Bush administration's quote about halting "all unregulated 527s". Which Stewart quips was aimed primarily at "a group called Texas National Air Guard Veterans For Truth, made up of people who recall serving with the President."

    Appreciative laughter throughout the room.

    Because, you know, everybody knows Bush was AWOL. Because, like, there were all those accusations a while ago, right? And they were never conclusively answered. Or at least the mainstream media didn't cover any such responses. Which means they didn't exist. Right?

    That's where the burden of proof is going to lie this election season. Bush is presumed guilty of all things, regardless of proof otherwise; and Kerry is presumed universally virtuous, regardless of proof otherwise. Those who control what we see and hear and read will see to that.

    There's a terrible precedent being set this year.

    Monday, August 9, 2004
    18:35 - God dammit
    http://medienkritik.typepad.com/blog/2004/08/will_smith_in_f.html

    (top)
    Okay, will you actor idiots just please line up and get all this crap off your chests right now? I am getting so sick of every single week bringing yet another name of an actor I admire telling a credulous foreign journalist how awful America is. Can't we just get this over with so I don't have to wonder as I poke through the DVD racks, and can at least know? I mean, you're all determined to sound off, right? Why drag it out? It can't be that you're reluctant to take an "unpopular" stand, right?

    In an interview posted today on the website of a major Frankfurt newspaper under the title "George W. Bush Lied to Me," star actor Will Smith had some interesting things to say about the USA, President George W. Bush, Michael Moore and the September 11 terror attacks among other things.

    When asked if 9/11 had changed anything for him personally, Smith answered:

    “No. Absolutely not. When you grow up black in America you have a completely different view of the world than white Americans. We blacks live with a constant feeling of unease. And whether you are wounded in an attack by a racist cop or in a terrorist attack, I’m sorry, it makes no difference.”

    It is interesting to note that, on a certain level, Smith is comparing American police officers, those charged with protecting society, with Islamic terrorists intent on destroying America and everything it stands for. Smith implies that racism is so rampant among America’s police that it is a threat equal in magnitude to black America as that of international terrorism.

    Of course the German press would love to hear that America is the new Nazi state. Wouldn't that just beat all?

    Thanks, Will. It's not only September 10th, it's also 1954.

    Crimi-ny.


    15:16 - Pass me the airbrush
    http://humaneventsonline.com.edgesuite.net/unfit_cover.html

    (top)
    Lots of people claim to have seen this independently, otherwise I'd never have believed it. It's just not even plausible; but apparently it's true.

    The cover of the new anti-Kerry book, Unfit for Command, set to hit shelves soon, has been given an alternative, pro-Kerry cover at the Barnes & Noble online store. The title of the book has been changed to Fit for Command, and the cover image has been changed from a close-up of a finger-pointing Kerry to a picture of Kerry in uniform with other Vietnam veterans. (The book currently sits at #7 on the Barnes & Noble Top 100 and at #2 on Amazon.)


    LGF commenter Buckaroo says:

    I used to laugh about the Soviets & ChinComs who would airbrush Politburo members out of existence.

    I'm not laughing anymore ...

    Hey, they didn't make mistakes either. Just ask 'em...

    UPDATE: All too real.

    UPDATE: InstaPundit's coverage of the unraveling Kerry's-Christmas-in-Cambodia thing, featuring reader e-mail:

    Several readers note that the "near Cambodia" completely destroys the point of Kerry's original statement. This is representative:

    If the campaign is really saying Kerry was just "near Cambodia", isn't that phenomenally lame?

    When Kerry brought up Cambodia, he was always doing it in the context of presidential lying--i.e. "I was in Cambodia, listening to the president say we had no troops in Cambodia".

    With this re-write, it becomes "I was *near* Cambodia, listening to the president say we had no troops *in* Cambodia, which, okay, was true as far as I could tell, but if I'd been just, like, sixty miles further west, it would've been a LIE!"

    I hope he can do better.

    Me too.

    Um, I don't.

    This is getting nauseating.

    The sooner we can stop this charade that noxiously pretends that this haughty, condescending, thin-skinned, inconsistent, weak-willed, childish pathological liar is in any way qualified to be President of the United States, the better off we'll all be.

    UPDATE: Wouldn't it be something, you know, if the self-flagellating impression we as a nation gave ourselves of our military in the post-Vietnam denouement was largely based on what Kerry told the Senate about how shamefully it had behaved—and if it turns out that what he said was all fabrications, or statements of what he himself had done, contrary to his superiors' orders?

    What if Kerry owes his entire political career to his bombshell testimony back in the day—two Senatorial decades purchased at the price of our military's honor and credibility, the loss of which dogs us today in Iraq?

    Why, it would turn this election into a choice between voting the very embodiment of our military's undeserved shame into the world's highest office, or exorcising a ghost that has haunted and crippled us for thirty long years...

    ...But no, I'm just being fanciful.


    13:44 - The Blame Train
    http://www.chinpokomon.com/archives/001227.html#001227

    (top)
    Kevin at Chinpokomon.com has a hilarious roundup of stories being stirred up in the wake of what John Kerry may as well be calling his "Pissing Off America" railroad tour. His campaign train keeps blasting through whistle-stop destinations, leaving sign-waving supporters and cancer-suffering children long-faced and disappointed on the platform.

    Predictably, "Campaign officials blamed the conductor for failing to slow down."

    Is it just me, or is this becoming a theme of the Kerry campaign? We are never wrong? We don't make mistakes? Is that the message they think they're sending?

    Hint, guys: it's not working.

    You blame your Secret Service detail for knocking you down on the ski slopes. You blame a journalist asking an honest question for "smearing" Teresa over her "un-American" comment. You blame a Republican attack machine for creating the Swift Vets out of thin air to impugn what had previously been seen as an unimpeachably honorable military record. And now you're blaming the conductor for not slowing down the train?

    How hard is it to simply admit to a mistake? How damaging do you think it would be to say that, for instance, "There was a mixup in our planning" or "We had problems communicating our whistle-stop directions to the conductor"?

    I've written before about this: a "pathological need to be right", characteristic of the likes of Michael Moore, John Kerry, and, indeed, a great many people I've known throughout my life who seem to have gotten it into their heads that the most important thing in the entire world is to be seen as infallible—that the slightest admission of being wrong about anything is tantamount to admitting utter defeat about everything.

    Not only do we have an innate desire to be right all the time-- we also seem to have an odd presumption that it's better to be right all the time, because that will make us better liked and better respected.

    It's been one of the hardest life lessons for me to learn, that this is not the case.

    Admitting you're wrong about something not only doesn't generally detract from how well respected a person is; it often makes him better liked. I mean, come on. We all know that one butthole in our social circle who can simply never admit defeat in an argument. What happens over time? Do people get to respect him more, defer more to his opinion, whether he's right or wrong? Or does the guy gradually stop getting invited to parties?

    If someone can never say those three simple words, I was wrong—then he's immature. That's what I must conclude. If someone in my social circle is relentlessly insistent upon everything that goes wrong being someone else's fault, then it means he's not mature enough to face up to failures—which, naturally, precludes learning from such failures.

    And I don't want a President who's as immature as that guy who stops being invited to one's parties.

    Kris tells me of a Nova show in which a famous astronomer had discovered a new planet; he'd written up a long and groundbreaking report, which he was prepared to give to a packed house at a major science convention. Then, the night before the keynote speech, the scientist discovered a mistake in his calculations: he hadn't discovered a new planet after all. In horror, he checked and rechecked his numbers, and it was true: all he had to present to the breathlessly waiting audience was an error.

    So what did he do? Did he fudge the facts? Did he blame an assistant for taking bad data? Did he skip the country? No—he went up on stage before the thousands of his peers, cleared his throat, and told them all that the discovery that he'd prepared to show them was false after all. He showed them his research, presented the now-meaningless report, and submitted himself for the mortifying judgment of the room.

    He got a standing ovation. A long, loud one. And now his character is so far beyond reproach that his peers will hurl themselves before a moving train for him.

    If only our politics judged character by integrity the way the scientific community does, eh? If only politicians placed honesty above this need to present an incorrupt face to the public—which the public could always see through anyway? If only our leaders would admit to being human!

    I may not be paying enough attention, but I haven't seen any statements from the Kerry campaign—on any subject—that admit to mistakes or miscalculations of any kind. Kerry, it's becoming more and more clear, takes himself way too seriously for that. I've seen no evidence of the kind of self-effacing humor that characterizes Bush; indeed, since today's pop-culture society values self-effacing humor so highly, I find that to be vaguely ironic. If only Kerry had been able to say, for example, "Oops, I took a spill there. Hey, I can faceplant with the best of 'em!" He doesn't think that would have ruined his shot at the Presidency, does he?

    But I get the feeling that if either of the candidates is in a position to claim to be "humble" on the world stage, Kerry's no more likely to be willing to admit to American fault than Bush is—probably a lot less so, in fact. Most Americans feel that we have nothing to apologize for regarding Iraq; but a Kerry presidency, if it shares anything with Kerry's own life, is going to involve its own fair share of embarrassments and failures. If Kerry stands before the nation or the UN in the wake of some scandal and points at scapegoats, we'll know we've elected someone with no more intellectual maturity than the kid who kicks all his friends out of his parents' basement when the D&D game goes sour.

    The Democrats are going to have to learn to accept their own faults, if they want to be taken seriously by the rest of the country. America isn't "theirs" by right, their sniveling assertions to that effect notwithstanding. They're going to have to earn it. And that means showing some understanding that the American spirit is fundamentally about owning up to mistakes and failures, because that's an inseparable part of the freedom to succeed that we cherish in this country. If the Democrats can't reconcile themselves with that principle, then they don't deserve to inherit the reins of the nation: they won't have any idea where to steer it... but they'll never stop to ask directions, either.


    11:44 - You take the high road
    http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0418068/

    (top)
    Oh, but Paul, the moral bar's been raised, you see—thanks to the miracle of message boards:

    Do you not think its an old boring, worn out cliche to bash the Police Academy films?. They are in a league of their own now. They have a cult following. Whether its for being crap or not, they have now reached a legendary status. Jesus, the most interesting people nowadays are those who like Police Academy movies because those people are certainly unique. I hate the same old boring people who have no minds of their own and only follow the crowd. Can you say something more original next time?.

    Gosh, I feel like an uncultured heel now for smirking at news of a Police Academy 8.

    Wait. No I don't!


    09:50 - Nyah ah ahhh. I love being evil!
    http://www.ppaction.org/ppvotes/choice_chick.html

    (top)
    I believe I agree with Glenn's take on this ad.

    When you flat-out refuse to accept that the other side can possibly have any motivation other than evil, sure, it makes for fun Flash aimations—but whom, exactly, do you think you're convincing? All it does is tell moderates, people who can see both sides of a given issue, that you aren't interested in rational discussion or compromise.

    These moderates are people who don't like to reward petulant foot-stamping whiners who think they're "simply right and that's all there is to it". And now they won't. Congratulations, creators of "Choice Chick", for very likely turning off a fair number of people who had been fence-sitters on the abortion issue. Congratulations on being immature, condescending brats who hijack morally-superior vocabulary so you don't have to face engaging reasoned opposition. Congratulations on turning what had seemed a totally reasonable position into a parody of itself, and on insulting a great many people who had otherwise been sympathetic to your cause.

    Gee, where have we seen this happen before?

    Sunday, August 8, 2004
    15:03 - A lost art, revived
    http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/South/08/08/bodies.found/index.html

    (top)
    Now that is an awesome headline.



    Still doesn't hold a candle, though, to "Howard Stern's Private Parts Surprisingly Sensitive"...

    Saturday, August 7, 2004
    00:39 - Oh, tell me more

    (top)
    So I'm sitting here minding my own business, when up pops an e-mail (seemingly sent as spam—the sender is "root@concentric.net") with the following contents:

    People in the armed forces are lazy! Read this article:

    http://toobis.com/rant-armedforces.html

    And then forward this to all of your friends so that the world can learn
    the truth about our military!! I'm trying to get the word out so people
    stop treating these people like royalty when they've hardly done
    anything for us. Thank you for your time.

    Uhhh... huh.

    Boy, I tell you what: you know how they say a picture's worth a thousand words? Well, I guess that makes this guy's picture and the article that goes with it pretty much redundant.

    There's a whole site full of this stuff, too. I can't quite figure out what this guy's story is; I'm torn between "twitching crackbaby" and "ingenious master of satire".

    Either way, it's fun, in a poking-roadkill-with-a-stick kind of way.

    Friday, August 6, 2004
    20:15 - The fourth branch of government, the fifty-first state
    http://littlegreenfootballs.com/weblog/?entry=12032_Journalism_Isnt_Dead_It_Just_Sme

    (top)
    Something's happening in journalism. Something big.

    I can imagine what it must be like to be one of these journalists present at this conference, can't you? You've got your laptop and your notepad, you're sitting in what's become the position of power in the press room, where you get to ask whatever questions you choose, no matter how irrelevant or loaded. You've got this specter called "Journalistic Integrity" hovering around at the edge of your consciousness like an unwelcome chaperone—but as you ask your questions, and as Bush does his best to fend them off, first you clear your throat pointedly, and nobdy elbows you in the ribs... so the next time, you try a little snort, and you hear someone else giggle at the other side of the room. Then you chortle. No pangs of remorse, no glowering stare from the spectral Murrow-shaped schoolmarm... so now you laugh out loud! And you boo! And you cackle! And the whole room joins in!

    What's running through your head now? That journalists are the rightful holders of real political power in this country. You've even got a rationale for it: the market selects media organs that suit its demands for news coverage and appropriate slant toward an agenda. Viewpoints that are unpopular don't get the ratings, and eventually a consensus is reached. Why, it's democracy! And you sit excitedly in your chair, tapping away gleefully on your laptop, and you envision the day when the Press Corps will rise as one, march toward the front of the room, drag the President out of his chair, and throw da bum out! All on live national TV! This is politics, Information Age style!

    At least, that's what it's got to look like from within the heads of those who consign their mascots of integrity and impartiality and respect to the sidelines as they become seemingly less and less relevant, as there are fewer and fewer repercussions for straying into outright partisanship. The draw of power is all too real, and all that stands in the way of someone grabbing for it is that person's value system; when that value system evaporates, escalation becomes exponential. It's the same mechanism by which starry-eyed college kids, hoping to impress the cute blonde at the study session, end up waving BUSH=HITLER signs and torching Jewish cemeteries. It all seems so innocent, it all seems to be the right "progressive" thing to do... surely someone would have cried "Halt!" if we'd taken a wrong turn anywhere, right?

    But from outside the bubble, it looks more like a train wreck... and to see a roomful of journalists boo and laugh mockingly at the President as he stumbles over meaningless questions from left field like "what tribal sovereignty means for Native American tribes in the 21st century" isn't just bizarre, it's profoundly insulting to our sense of what politics should be.

    Journalism thinks it's on the verge of becoming our nation's designated kingmaking body. But it might just find that it's become our nation's pariah, marginalized and scorned and afforded as much deference and respect as fortune-tellers.

    Meanwhile, while googling for Bush quotes, I found this. I'd thought it would be a derisive collection of malapropisms... but damn, these are funny.

    I needed that.


    13:27 - Congressman, legislate thyself
    http://www.celluloid-wisdom.com/pw/index.php/weblog/entry/ladies_and_gentlemen_this_

    (top)
    Via Cold Fury...

    I've made some noise lately about people dimly aware that something called "The First Amendment" exists, deciding that it means they should be allowed to say anything they please in any venue, and provided with protection against people who might dare to disagree with them. I've been trying patiently (and not-so-patiently) to explain what precisely the First Amendment does and does not guarantee.

    Let's review:

    Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

    In other words, unless Congress is involved, the First Amendment doesn't frickin' apply. "Free speech" between private parties is regulated by the market of ideas, and one side is free to shout down or stifle the other and stop buying tickets to its concerts.

    No Congressmen around? Then no First Amendment breach. Congress doesn't get involved in private discourse, because to do so—on either side—would be censorship. Got it? Good.

    Several members of Congress sent a letter Tuesday to Rupert Murdoch, owner of Fox News, to express their opposition to what they say is the network’s “unfair and unbalanced” bias towards the Republican Party.

    The group, composed of 38 Democrats and Independents from the U.S. House of Representatives, has requested that Murdoch meet with them to discuss their concerns.

    “The responsibility of the media is to report the news in an unbiased, impartial and objective manner,” the letter reads.

    “It seems clear that Fox News network has a deliberate bias in favor of, and often serves as an extension of, the Republican Party’s policies and ideology.”

    . . .

    A spokesman for Rep. Bernie Sanders, I-Vt., said there were legislative avenues that the group could pursue as a secondary measure but declined to speculate on what those might be. 

    Uh...

    Wait.

    You wanna run that by me again?

    No, that can't be what you're saying. You're saying that members of the House of Representatives—you know, Congressmen ...

    ... and Fox News ... the only network that even vaguely demonstrates a lack of liberal slant ...

    ... and unspecified legislative avenues ...

    Tell me, Congressman—how much more flagrantly do you think it's possible to breach the explicit verbatim commandment of the First Amendment?!

    Oh, and just watch: these guys will be hailed as "brave" and "conscientious" for standing up to the heinous threat to free speech that Fox represents. When Murdoch is hounded from the dial and we have ideological purity once again, this group of Congressmen will be called American heroes, and anyone who opposes them will be branded "enemies of free speech and the First Amendment".

    How has this happened? How can there not be anyone on the Left who sees something like this and takes a step back and says, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, let's not get carried away here—promoting liberal ideas is all well and good, but let's not turn the very premise of the First Amendment on its ass! Let's at least practice what we preach, and observe a little self-restraint before we end up rewriting the whole Constitution out of pure spite!"

    If these Congressmen don't find themselves impeached by their own party for flagrant disregard of the Constitution that they'd sworn to uphold, then the Democrats have forfeited any claim even to understand this country's founding principles, let alone to be trusted to defend them.

    My God, I have seldom been so angry.


    10:37 - Things that need coverage
    http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,128193,00.html

    (top)
    Via LGF—on Fox News, of course (like anyone else would report on this):

    ALBANY, N.Y. —Information found in Iraq led federal investigators to become suspicious of an Albany, N.Y., mosque leader, FOX News has learned.

    Last summer, U.S. troops discovered Yassin Muhhiddin Aref’s name, telephone number and address in a book left behind in a vacated terrorist training camp, a U.S. official told FOX News. The book also revealed that Ansar al-Islam, the group running the camp, had given Aref a title: “the commander.”

    The next time someone tells me that terror alerts are politically motivated, that there is no terrorist threat that isn't made up by Bush, or that Iraq had nothing to do with the War on Terror, I'm going to kick him square in the nuts.

    UPDATE: Mike presents the quoted material rather more effectively.


    09:55 - Now that's mildly creepy

    (top)
    A couple of days ago, I linked to the day's Sinfest strip, and because of the episode's determinedly Bizarro-World premise, sneeringly titled the post "We make our own reality".

    Now look at the following day's strip:



    Um...

    Thursday, August 5, 2004
    22:58 - Subway's on thin ice—but it's holding
    http://littlegreenfootballs.com/weblog/?entry=12004_Subway_Mocks_9-11_in_Germany

    (top)
    I saw this earlier today, and almost linked it, but something stopped me.

    (CNSNews.com) - Picture this: a gigantic cheeseburger (with tomatoes and lettuce) slamming into two high-rise buildings, as cartoon characters run from the flaming ruins.

    It’s clearly a takeoff on the 9/11 terror attacks on the World Trade Center, and according to the Virginia-based Center for Individual Freedom, the illustration appears on page 18 of a 30-page “food diary” distributed by Subway sandwich shops in Germany.

    . . .

    The new image shows that Subway’s advertising is “far more disturbing and anti-American than previously thought,” the Center for Individual Freedom said in a press release.

    Outrageous! Making fun of 9/11 in order to sideswipe burger joints? Intolerable! I'm boycotting Subway and writing to their management!

    ...But hold on a minute here. I stopped short of this reaction; and what stopped me was the actual image in question:



    "Clearly" a takeoff on 9/11? I don't think so. Yeah, I was outraged when I read the citation. And it's clear that Subway's German advertising does routinely seem to use condescension toward Americans as its stock in trade (Don't eat burgers! What, do you wanna end up like the Americans?). But this image stops well short of being a 9/11 parody. If anything, it's a "Godzilla"-meme iteration, and not a very skillful one at that. But if the artist had intended to evoke 9/11, he did a staggeringly incompetent job.

    So I'm not going to be doing any boycotting of Subway. Particularly, as commenter Doctor Bean says:

    Subway is a franchise. Each store is owned by some poor shmuck trying to make a living who pays Subway for the use of the name and the Subway stuff (like McDonald's). Subway does not own the individual stores. A boycott would just hurt the guy in your neighborhood who never heard of what's happening in Germany. Subway would still get his monthly franchise fee; they would lose nothing. Any action should be directed to the national company.

    Subway's management should certainly hear about how we "Amis" feel about being characterized with an obese Statue of Liberty holding a burger and fries (I'm sure a giant statue of Michael Moore holding a lawsuit would be more appropriate anyway). But let's not go nuts and assume the Germans would flock to a restaurant that trades on 9/11-mocking imagery.

    The French, though, are another story.

    Anyway, I had a comment, myself:

    Everybody, please pledge to look at the image in question before firing off the flame or enacting your boycott before lunchtime today. :)

    I think this may be symptomatic of a larger tendency-- of people, even intelligent LGFers, to trust the quoting skills of the blogger so much that they think it's unnecessary to follow the link and see the whole story for themselves. While the bloggers in question may be in fact great at selecting what to quote, sometimes that's the problem: they become too good, and people assume that what's quoted is the entirety of what's interesting and actionable about the linked item.

    I'm not saying Charles should change his linking-mostly-without-comment style. It's part of what makes LGF so demonstrably factual. But I'm saying, as a longtime LGF mostly-lurker and blogger, that it would behoove us all to add "read the original item before becoming outraged" to the list of things we do when a news story breaks, right along with "the 48-hour rule".

    Yeah, I agree.

    ...Wait...


    17:26 - My eyes are streaming
    http://stevegilliard.blogspot.com/2004/08/celebrate-racism.html#comments

    (top)
    Whether primarily from inconsolable sadness at the human condition or raucous goatlike laughter I'm not prepared to say. Suffice to say, it's a mixture of both.

    My God. I used to know people like this... hell, I used to be people like this.

    UPDATE: The comments on this post are hysterical. "I... I.... I think I just laughed up my liver...."


    13:17 - What's going on here?
    http://humaneventsonline.com.edgesuite.net/unfit_pdf.html

    (top)
    So InstaPundit just discovered that the Kerry campaign has faxed legal threats to stations airing the "Swift Vets" ad—the fax is strongly worded, as one might imagine, but claims adamantly that not a single one of the people portrayed in the ad actually served with Kerry, and that as such it's just slander.

    And if you go to the Swift Vets site, the main page with the movie still comes up—but the "index.php" page with all the background material times-out and/or throws an SQL error. Overload? Misconfiguration? Emergency "maintenance" and rewriting of content?

    Boy. I don't know what to think about this; one way or the other, this is going to be a bloodbath. If the Swift Vets are lying, then it'll be Kerry's biggest coup to date and a fiasco for his opponents. But if the Swift Vets are telling the truth and the Kerry campaign is issuing threats which are themselves based on false claims, then he's just amplified the ad's effect tenfold.

    Either way, this ain't gonna be pretty.

    UPDATE: SwiftVets.com now says "We are moving to much faster servers. We'll be right back."

    I'm on pins and needles here. This isn't some subjective argument, where both sides have a reasonable case and losing is no big deal. This is a binary disagreement over objective facts. One side's claiming it's sunny and the other is claiming it's cloudy; in a minute we're going to open the curtains, and one side will be proven absolutely, incontrovertibly, dead wrong.

    How can either side, knowing the truth would come out, give the other side ammunition of this magnitude? Conceptually, this development absolutely staggers me.

    UPDATE: The best point I've seen from this LGF thread is from Fenway_Nation:

    Wonder if this form letter being faxed by the DNC is just a formality that would give the 'Mainstream' media outlets the opportunity to weasel out of airing the swiftobat vet's ad.

    "Gee, we'd LIKE to air this, but we got this scary fax from the DNC counsel...."

    That would explain the hysterical language, and why the Kerry campaign is faxing the C&D orders to the TV stations airing the ad, rather than to the Swift Vets themselves—which is what you'd expect them to do if the vets were lying, wouldn't you? And the SwiftVets.com site has been online and saying the same things for months before the ad came out; Kerry had forever to C&D them if what they were doing was provably libelous.

    Still no official response from the vets, but I'm seeing more reasons to be suspicious of Kerry than of them.

    UPDATE: So John McCain demands that Bush disavow the Swift Vets' ad, and Bush does not do so; meanwhile, the Vets respond to McCain via Drudge, in a more or less content-free way. Any response yet to the fax from Kerry's legal team?

    UPDATE: Unless I'm reading this incorrectly, the vets have been giving affidavits to the stations that air the ad, affirming the authenticity of their claims. Someone who's listening to Hewitt ought to be able to confirm this...

    Oh, and evidently Fox News is about to present the ad (with rebuttals from both sides) shortly.

    UPDATE: The original InstaPundit post has lots more details that have been coming out, such as this expansion on Fenway_Nation's theory (above), by Kevin Greene:

    This will backfire, and is surely why the Internet is the medium of our time. More people, I suspect, will see this ad because of the controversy over the attempt by the Kerry camp to keep it under wraps.

    Yup. Remember how many Google searches there were on "Daniel Pearl" and "Nick Berg"? Let's be tallying the "Kerry Swift Vets Video" searches in the near future. And this one's got an official site, too.

    Glenn's also got this rather inconclusive interview between two of the Vietnam vets in Kerry's Swift Boat squadron, conducted on CNN. Summary: lots of bullets flying around, and nobody's sure what the hell happened.

    But that's neither here nor there, compared to the histrionics of the Kerry lawyers' fax. Are they splitting hairs, trying to get stations to ditch the ad because certain claims that the video never even made are incorrect (like whether the one guy was "a doctor" or "Kerry's doctor" or whatever)? Or are they just playing the left-leaning media like a well-tempered klavier, giving them a soothing "there, there" so they won't feel obligated to give those nasty right-wingers a platform?

    UPDATE: One last thought. It occurs to me that this (and this) are illustrations of what Kerry and Michael Moore et al. meant when they said they'd be hiring teams of "fact-checker" lawyers to make sure that they'd be ready for any attacks that might come.

    They meant it in the sense of "check your facts at the door".

    This is a private party, and facts aren't welcome here. Just leave them with the fact-checker over there. Complain, and we sue yo' ass. We got lawyers!

    "Bring it on" indeed.

    UPDATE: The Swift Vets' response is now available.

    Wednesday, August 4, 2004
    23:42 - Crossover hell

    (top)
    I know this makes me a bad comics-type-person, but am I the only guy on Earth who looks at Alien vs. Predator and thinks, "what a frickin' joke"?

    Next summer: Batman vs. the Terminator! Followed by Speed Buggy vs. Richie Rich!


    21:45 - I'm sure Berlin was considered "progressive" at a certain time
    http://www.examiner.com/article/index.cfm/i/080404n_heller

    (top)
    I guess it's possible for a city to become so liberal and tolerant and progressive that its people become Nazis.

    Ugh. My earlier feeling about today seems to be bearing itself out... but that boulder's doing a lot of damage on the way down.

    Via Mike Silverman.


    17:49 - Maybe John Kerry should stop talking about Vietnam
    http://www.swiftvets.com/

    (top)
    Just a thought.


    16:50 - I think I need a cigarette
    http://coldfury.com/index.php?p=4713

    (top)
    Mike at Cold Fury refreshes his claim to his site's title. Big time.

    It's been a zillion "little things" for the past couple of years, but I think Howard Dean's moronic remarks about the "suspicious timing" of the terror alerts have touched off something of a that's-the-last-damn-straw vibe. Honestly, it's nothing we haven't heard a thousand times before, but... well, somehow, something about it this time—maybe just the idea that bald barking insanity has so visibly gripped the world around us, reaching up to such heights as pretenders to the White House—has sent more than one of us just a little bit round the bend.

    Why do I get the urge to describe the general sentiment I'm picking up today as like a giant boulder dislodged from a mountainside, slowly starting to roll downhill?

    Tuesday, August 3, 2004
    21:46 - The logo of the white stallion
    http://www.newyorker.com/printable/?fact/040802fa_fact

    (top)
    Via LGF... the most in-depth and gripping piece of real journalism on the Jihadist movement I've seen in months, possibly ever.

    I hesitate to say something like "refuse to read it at your peril", because however I feel about this whole mess, fearful isn't how I'd describe my sentiments. (Perhaps epically pissed-off.) I don't think people would be well served by instilling themselves with fear. But we'd better instill ourselves with something.

    Think about this article the next time someone tells you that the announcement of some new terror threat, particularly one against specific targets and sourced from a specific apprehended suspect, is a suspiciously-timed political maneuver.


    14:26 - We make our own reality
    http://www.sinfest.net/d/20040803.html

    (top)
    Today's Sinfest:



    Today's Dean Esmay:

    Dani Emery actually thought we were joking when John Eddy and I said we expect there to be a few deaths at the Republican convention in New York. The Democrats managed to avoid that by forcing all protestors into a cage, but the Republicans have no such plans.

    But that's not important. What's important is that it makes you think, or something.

    Why doesn't anyone ever make artists think?

    UPDATE: Oh, and I understand this will soon be made into an animated series and shown with great fanfare on Adult Swim.

    Is it November yet?


    13:02 - That rock ain't doin' a whole lot for me
    http://www.homestarrunner.com/disk4of12.html

    (top)
    I hope everybody has wastedspent a good hour or two of their lives on this by now:



    There's something profoundly meaningful about the whole experience, but I'm not sure what it is. All I know is... no one can defeat Trogdor the Burninator.

    No one.

    Monday, August 2, 2004
    21:58 - From the mouths of babes does often come cereal
    http://corsair.blogspot.com/2004/07/dumb-ass-know-nothing-teens-group-of.html

    (top)
    Corsair found this most excellent Washington Post article on yet another clash of cultures: between American kids who think Iraqis hate us because of the war, and Iraqi kids who are fans of Bush.

    And, in fact, American students said they found their Iraqi counterparts to be a highlight of the week.

    "It's so cool," declared Carrie Shoultz, 16, of Eagan, Minn., as she lingered around the Iraqis' dinner table. "I oppose the war, but I thought it would be good to get it from the horse's mouth."

    And what had she found? Majid asked wryly.

    "That [the Iraqis] were pretty split," Shoultz said. "I thought they didn't like us [Americans] -- I wanted to hear that they didn't like us. But then you got Ali here . . . who supports Bush!"

    The ignorant wog!

    These American kids probably have "Think For Yourself" slogans scrawled all over their schoolbooks. One day they'll learn that thinking for oneself doesn't mean simply listening to people your own age instead of to people who are older and wiser.


    17:22 - Darling Oem-Software Customer!

    (top)
    Courtesy of Chris—this has got to be in the running for Best Spam Evar:

    Return-Path: <Leander@mostlysunny.com>
    Received: from mostlysunny.com (mostlysunny.com [65.198.177.200])
    by p83.129.229.6.tisdip.tiscali.de (Postfix) with ESMTP id 69D33F81BB
    for <xxx@xxxxx.org>; Tue, 03 Aug 2004 03:25:32 -2000
    Message-ID: <6.0.0.22.1.20040803032532.5cf3fa51@mostlysunny.com>
    X-Sender: patio@mostlysunny.com
    X-Mailer: QUALCOMM Windows Eudora Version 6.0.0.22
    Reply-To: Fabrice@earthdome.com
    Date: Tue, 03 Aug 2004 03:25:32 -2000
    To: Chris <xxx@xxxxx.org>
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    Subject: From TopRated-ProgramTools Buyers support department.
    MIME-Version: 1.0
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    Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
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    Status: O
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    Darling Oem-Software Customer!

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    They say it only takes one bite in a million to make spam worthwhile... but if you ask me, those are pretty optimistic odds in this case.


    12:50 - Argh!

    (top)
    First goes the pronunciation; then, when no consequences are forthcoming, goes the spelling.

    I've fumed before about Nestlé Crunch ads starring people who think that "caramel" is pronounced with one A and two syllables; one such ad even featured two guys (one of them, inexplicably, Shaq) arguing over the pronunciation. Eventually sanity seemed to win out.

    But now you can go to Taco Bell and order what appears on the menu, verbatim, as a "Carmel Apple Empanada".

    What is that—apples from Carmel? I never realized the region was known for its apple orchards.

    Yaagh! Didn't even the marketing people go to high school? Do we need to call up the Hooked on Phonics people and have them talk to Tricon's people? Let's have some standards in professional signage, for crying-out-loud!


    09:50 - The honeymoon's over
    http://www.deanesmay.com/posts/1091277100.shtml

    (top)
    Dean Esmay noted a couple of days ago that several big left-leaning papers, including Der Spiegel, have started coming out, as it were—clearing their throats, shuffling their feet, and then saying in no uncertain terms that Fahrenheit 9/11 is a bunch of crap, and that the Left is doing itself no favors by treating it as though it's a piece of honest journalism that retains any credibility for itself or its maker.

    And the Poles? The Poles know propaganda when they see it.

    I do believe Mr. Moore has heaved himself breathlessly over a very apprehensive shark with this one. F9/11 was his big chance, the biggest one he'd ever get—and boy did it pay off; he's been paraded around the DNC like an appointee to a new Cabinet-level Office of Homeland Denigration, and he's everybody's favorite celebrity at the box office and around the water cooler. But... well, now that there's been time for people to really absorb what his pack of sound and fury says (or, really, doesn't say)—it's starting to sink in just how little it signifies. He's never going to get a bigger opportunity than this one—never such a subject so dear to his heart to cover, with never so much at stake. He's done.

    And having released F9/11 in the summer, Moore gave us a whole five months to let it turn into a cliché and a joke. And for people like Trey Parker to release rebuttals, much better timed so as to be October Surprises.

    If anyone got gamed here, it's their own dang fault.

    Sunday, August 1, 2004
    21:16 - Judging character
    http://www.capitalistlion.com/article.cgi?1133

    (top)
    CapLion noticed this about Kerry's recent statement that he wants to put Osama bin Laden on trial for "murder" in a U.S. court:

    Kerry has just proven that he doesn't care one bit about the war on terror, about 9/11, or about the survival of our nation. He just said (assuming the highly unlikely-- that bin Laden hasn't been cave paste for years) that should bin Laden be captured, he should be tried for murder. This is a flip-flop on his previous statement that if captured, he should be shot in the head. This proves something to me: Kerry doesn't give a damn either way. He only wants the power, and is willing to say or do whatever his handlers calculate as the best means to that end. If that means appearing "moderate" on the subject of bin Laden, then that's what he says.

    Yes, exactly. This is key and critical. If Kerry can't come up with a consistent statement about how he'd deal with Osama if he arrived in Washington in chains, and hems and haws based on how he thinks voters will react to his stance on capital punishment or international criminal justice, then he's making a statement far louder than anything he could say in words.

    A friend recently told me that he's simply bothered by the idea that "someone with Billy Graham on his speed-dial is in charge of fighting the war on Islamia." Okay, well, fair enough. But who would you rather have: someone who justly recognizes this war as the clash of civilizations that it truly is, or someone who doesn't even seem to give a crap?

    Having religious convictions doesn't automatically make someone a good person, it's true. But neither does not having religious convictions. And in the case of the struggle we're now facing, a leader who is so caught up with believing that his aloofness from overt faith is proof of his intellectual superiority that he would treat terrorism as a criminal matter, to be dealt with by police and the court system and "first responders", and who can't work up the moral courage to even issue a vaguely visceral response to questions about bin Laden, is someone we can't trust to have a value system at all.

    Maybe we're old-fashioned that way. But, well, so are they.


    12:28 - Dueling posters

    (top)
    Compare and contrast:



    Which do you suppose will be more successful? And which is more grounded in maturity and reality?

    And let me just say that I don't believe I've ever heard of anybody on the Right trying to prevent the Democrats from holding their convention, much less forming an organization soliciting posters toward that end.

    Such faith in democracy.

    (Both via LGF.)

    Saturday, July 31, 2004
    00:26 - Take that
    http://littlegreenfootballs.com/weblog/?entry=11853

    (top)
    I'm not sure why I didn't link to this when it was first spreading around—but on deeper cogitation it seems the kind of thing that really ought to be more widely known about.

    “We saw the hole for the bunker but it hard to believe someone live in that hole. It was really small,” Samir remembers. “They shot in there and he started yelling, ”Don’t shoot, don’t shoot, don’t kill me.’“ So I had to talk to him. I was the translator. I said, ‘Just come out.’ He kept saying, ‘Don’t shoot. Don’t kill me.’”

    In Arabic Samir said he continued to pursuade Saddam to come out. He was about to come face to face with the tyrant who killed his loved ones.
    Saddam was the reason he fled Iraq in 1991 and eventually moved to St. Louis.

    Samir says, “I was like, ‘I got him.’ We all reached him and pulled him out. And we say Saddam Hussein he looks really old. He looks disgusting.” There was also anger. “You want to beat the crap out of him. He destroyed millions in Iraq. I’m one. I left my family 13 years ago because of him.”

    Saddam couldn’t fight back, but he did speak out. “He called me a spy. He called me a traitor. I had to punch him in face. They had to hold me back. I got so angry I almost lost my mind. I didn’t know what to do. Choke him to death. That’s really not good enough.”

    For Samir, this was sweet justice. One of Iraq’s own, now a U.S. citizen, helping arrest one of the world’s most wanted fugitives. “I said ‘Who are you? What’s your name?’ He replied, ‘I’m Saddam.’ Saddam what, I asked. He said, ‘Don’t yell. I’m Saddam Hussein.”

    I wonder why this wasn't publicized more back when Saddam was first captured; and I hope the reason wasn't that this is an exaggerated story. I sure hope it's for real, though; the symbolism is all there, as perfect as though expertly screenwritten. It makes for an irresistible scene for when the Iraq War gets made into a blockbuster movie.

    ...Well, that is, if Hollywood ever comes to the conclusion that it's possible to portray the Iraq War in a positive light.


    23:46 - When Photoshop is outlawed, only outlaws will have Photoshop
    http://e-merl.com/dragon.htm

    (top)
    Ow. My brain.

    Friday, July 30, 2004
    16:56 - The future doesn't belong to fear; it belongs to CNN
    http://www.cnn.com/2004/TECH/science/07/30/vote.psych.reut/index.html

    (top)
    Oh, isn't this just loverly.

    Study: Fear shapes voters' views

    President George W. Bush may be tapping into solid human psychology when he invokes the September 11 attacks while campaigning for the next election, U.S. researchers said on Thursday.

    Talking about death can raise people's need for psychological security, the researchers report in studies to be published in the December issue of the journal Psychological Science and the September issue of the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin.

    "There are people all over who are claiming every time Bush is in trouble he generates fear by declaring an imminent threat," said Sheldon Solomon of Skidmore College in Saratoga Springs, New York, who worked on the study.

    "We are saying this is psychologically useful," said Solomon.

    In other words, as Lance puts it, this study—which CNN presents as the most scholarly of works—posits that "only cowards and insane people could possibly vote for Bush."

    "In one we asked half the people to think about the September 11 attacks, or to think about watching TV," Solomon said. "What we found was staggering."

    When asked to think about television, the 100 or so volunteers did not approve of Bush or his policies in Iraq. But when asked to think about Sept. 11 first and then asked about their attitudes to Bush, another 100 volunteers had very different reactions.

    "They had a very strong approval of President Bush and his policy in Iraq," Solomon said.
    Imagine that.

    One might almost be forgiven for thinking that 9/11 actually happened, or something.


    14:39 - The man gets it

    (top)
    It's hard to imagine two speeches as sundered in both style and content as Kerry's, from last night, and Bush's response to it from Springfield, Missouri.

    Bush speaks in short, clipped sentences, without any of Kerry's flourishes or ligatures or arpeggios. He'll never use twenty words if he can make his point in five. He'll leave out words like "I'm" or "It's" if the meaning is clear without them. The result is a speech that doesn't sound like it's coming from a politician: it sounds like it's coming from, well, a cowboy.

    Which makes it easy, as you read through the first part of it, to think there isn't any substance in it—just a bunch of catchphrases equivalent to "Make my day" and "Bring it on" and "Gee up, Clem." I'm sure that's what it sounds like to anyone listening to it with skepticism born of sophistication and immersion in the freshman reading list at Columbia.

    That's why I was startled to find that this speech has some real meat in it. Statements and claims that seriously make you raise your eyebrows and rub your chin. Thoughts that make you nod your head off to the side and grunt approvingly as you evaluate it. He's naming trends that have only been hinted at and postulated among blogs and analysts—and they make perfect sense.

    This world of ours is changing. Most Americans get their health care coverage through their work. Most of today's new jobs are created by small businesses which too often cannot afford to provide health coverage.

    To help more American families get health insurance, we must allow small employers to join together to purchase insurance at discounts available to big companies.

    To improve health care, we must limit the frivolous lawsuits that raise the cost of health care and drive good doctors out of medicine.

    We must harness technology to reduce costs and prevent deadly health care mistakes. We must do more to expand research and development for new cures for terrible diseases.

    In all we do to improve health care in America, and we will make sure the health decisions are made by doctors and patients, not by bureaucrats in Washington, D.C.

    . . .

    We're not turning back to the old days, the old Washington mindset that says they will give the orders, you'll pay the bills. We've turned a corner from that way of thinking and we're not turning back.

    These are exciting times for change. The economy is changing, the world is changing.

    In our parents' generation, moms usually stayed home while fathers worked for one company until retirement. The company provided health care and training and a pension. Many of the government programs and most basic systems, from health care to Social Security to the tax code, were based, and still are based, on the old assumptions.

    This is a different world. Workers change jobs and careers frequently. Most of the jobs are created by small businesses. They can't afford to provide health care or pensions or training. Parents are working. They're not at home.

    We need to make sure government changes with the times and to work for America's working families.

    You see, American workers need to own their own health care accounts. They need to own and manage their own pensions and retirement systems.

    They need more ownership so they can take the benefits from job to the job. They need flex time so they can work out of the home.

    All of these reforms are based on this conviction: The role of government is not to control or dominate the lives of our citizens.

    The role of government is to help our citizens gain the time and the tools to make their own choices and improve their own lives.

    That's why I will continue to work to usher in a new era of ownership and opportunity in America. We want more people owning their own home. We want more people owning their own business. We want more people owning and managing their own health care system. We want more people owning and managing a part of their retirement systems. When a person owns something, he or she has a vital stake in the future of the United States of America.

    Did he just make me happier with his social policy than with his defense policy?

    These are audacious changes he's proposing—but not as far-reaching as the let's-copy-Canada mindset of the Clintonian era, and not as cynical either. It's a new approach to a new set of societal issues, not twenty-year-old answers to thirty-year-old problems. And really, all it is is a distillation of philosophy: a philosophy that's never materially changed since 1789. Our lives are in our own hands—that's what makes us different. It's what makes us Americans. It's the very essence of our social contract, which—far more than the borders of the country or the language we speak or the color of our skin—sets us apart from every other country that's ever existed.

    What Bush is proposing is a plan to modernize our thinking about such social needs as the flexible family, the small entrepreneurial business, and the pressure for affordable health care—and to do it, crucially, in such a way as not to undermine our personal independence as individuals. It's not a recommendation to just try here what's been tried elsewhere; it's an acknowledgment that not only have those solutions been shown to be very imperfect where they've been tried, but they're also designed in response to a world long extinct. To adopt such plans here, today, would be to declare 1970 the most perfect of all eras.

    The solutions he's proposing wouldn't have made sense fifty or even twenty years ago; but they're aimed at the world of 2008, based on trends and projections. Now, I didn't pay particularly close attention to Kerry's speech; but I don't seem to recall him describing any plans for America that exhibited this kind of insight into and acceptance of social trends, or linked them so well with American ideals. All he did was try to appeal to our sense of shame (the old "the only advanced nation in the world which fails to understand that health care is not a privilege, it's a right" business). I can only conclude, then, that Kerry really doesn't have much in the way of insight or vision—just a vague idea to stay the course, smile a lot, and hope that's enough.

    Cowboys don't smile a lot. They don't have to.

    (Via CapLion, who has a non-Fisking of a lot more of the speech.)

    Thursday, July 29, 2004
    12:20 - AirPort Explosion

    (top)
    What? No, I mean the good kind.

    Damien Del Russo writes to say:

    Just thought you might want to know - I already know 3 people with Airport Express. When I got my iPod back in the day, it took about 2 years until I had 3 friends with an iPod (not I have about 6). Airport Express just started shipping and it is already popular! For one, I credit the iPod - more people are checking Apple products more frequently. I also credit myself, as I mentioned the device to two of the purchasers (LOL).

    So what does this mean? Well, for one, it means I am not selling my stock. Beyond that, hell if I know! But I do suspect that the AE is a winner.

    On Monday, Kris and I got an urgent smoke signal from our mole inside the Apple campus that the long-awaited shipment of 200 AirPort Expresses had finally arrived at the on-campus store, where the employees get discounts for themselves and their favored confederates on cool Apple gear (including hardware). This store tends to lag the regular retail channel in stocking new items, which stands to reason—Apple wants to get stuff into the hands of the retail customers, not the discounted employees. But finally, they were in stock, and right down the road. So off we jogged. Lo and behold, there they were: a whole display of them, right next to the front door, stacked up in their neat little blue-and-white boxes that look like they've got candy in them rather than networking appliances. Kris and I each picked one up, along with a connection kit (extension cord, analog and optical audio cables), and went home happy.

    We happened to be over there again yesterday (Wednesday)... and the display was completely gone. Not a single unit left. We asked the clerk; he said all 200 boxes had been snapped up within a day. As we stood there, other clerks told customer after customer, stacked up in line, that the AirPort Expresses were, unfortunately, sold out.

    This thing's flying off shelves faster even than the iPod did. I think Apple's figured out how to hit all the right notes—and they're riding the waves of customer demand, springboarding off each new interference crest with new toy after new toy, catapulting themselves into a lead like they've never enjoyed before.

    I've noticed a problem, though: if you hook up the AirPort Express via the digital optical cable, each time you start a new track playing, you lose about one second's worth of sound—it's like the receiver has to waste a fair amount of time auto-synchronizing to the signal format, and the song cuts in about a second after it starts. (It doesn't happen if you hook it up via analog.) This is really ugly, and I've sent in a bug report to Apple—I hope it's something they can fix. I'm sure they can.


    12:10 - Another bunch of jokes ruined
    http://www.deanesmay.com/posts/1091094922.shtml

    (top)
    Dean Esmay makes an excellent point over here, to add to the ongoing debate over religious/ethnic profiling in counterterrorism measures.

    Events on the ground keep throwing our conventional wisdom into a cocked hat; we'd better be equipped to turn our policies on a dime, the way Israel does. We could learn a thing or two.


    09:19 - Pettable Furniture

    (top)
    This is a dog who knows how to get comfortable:



    He arranged those cushions himself.

    Wednesday, July 28, 2004
    21:03 - I hope we don't ever have history books that mention this

    (top)
    This just bugs me somehow:

    Featured speakers tonight [day two of the DNC] are Teresa “Shove It!” Heinz Kerry and Howard “Eeyaarrghh!” Dean, with a closing benediction performed by Imam Yahya Hendi, the Muslim chaplain at Georgetown University.

    I can't quite put my finger on it, but there's just something not sitting right. Closing benediction by an imam with a shady past. So thousands of Americans, attending the convention that has met to endorse the man who may become our President, get to bow their heads, close their eyes, and play like they're Muslims. I'm not sure what it is, but something just feels a little "off" about that.

    I guess it must be some of the questions it raises; like, for instance: Are there really that few Democrats who think it's just possibly in rather poor taste, in the post-9/11 world, to have their spirituality at their most major political convention directed by a leader of Islam, that the DNC organizers had no qualms about this?

    Or, indeed: How far, exactly, is it from "benediction at the DNC that may produce our President led by a Muslim chaplain" to "national endorsement of Islam as the state religion"? Quite a long way, I'm sure, but it would have been a lot farther if this hadn't happened, wouldn't it?

    I dunno. I guess I just keep thinking back to the early 90s, when gay guys dismissively told hysterical, overreacting conservatives, There's no "gay lobby"; there's no "gay agenda"—don't be ridiculous! ... Only try to say such a thing today, now that gay newspapers "out" anybody they deem to be straying from the party line on gay marriage, which is what is invariably meant by "gay rights" these days. (Thanks to Combustible Boy for the link.) I mean, sometimes slippery slopes don't slide that easily—but that's no reason for us to wear rollerskates, is it?

    And, um, why is it that these guys always seem to be connected?

    UPDATE: Kevin notes:

    I think you missed the biggest point.... Georgetown is a Jesuit run school. WTF are they doing with a Muslim chaplain?

    Hell, what does make sense anymore?


    15:03 - And all this time I've been smoking harmless tobacco

    (top)
    I've written a couple of times before about an e-mail correspondent that I've been talking with for over a year now. This is a character with whom, if it weren't for the valuable nature of the meat of the conversation, I'd never have had the heart to keep the exchange going so long; see, he's of the so-far-left-you-can't-see-Left-from-where-he-is neck of the spectrum, and over the course of the conversation, in which the messages have routinely topped 30K as they've explored matters philosophical and animal and mineral, I've seen glimpses of how I used to think, back in high school. Though the guy is in his 40s or 50s, massively overweight, on the edge of financial ruin, and chronically spiritually and emotionally unfulfilled, talking to him is like talking to a younger version of myself, albeit a much more volatile and schizophrenic version (or so I hope).

    Because the main point of the conversation focuses on a project I'm working on and into which he seeks to add his observations and critique, I've studiously avoided bringing up a certain delicate subject: the fact that if he and I were to meet on the field of political battle, we'd be on staunchly opposite sides. He assumes, because of the context in which he knows me (suffice to say, it's one of those sides of me that I'm not about to publicize in this forum), that I'm the kind of guy who'll cheer at his aspersions against drivers on Texas roads with Bush/Cheney bumper stickers, his claims that the invasion of Iraq was worse than Hitler's invasion of Poland, his contention that society demands too much responsibility of people (this in the age of McDonald's lawsuits, even), and his rejection of gay marriage on the grounds that "marriage" itself is an oppressive Western conceit developed by those evil straight people in order to spite gays in the first place. I hate to burst the pleasant(-ish) bubble by telling the truth about how I feel on these issues—I just sort of smile and nod and move on to the next paragraph.

    I have, however, been able to chasten him on a few issues—without delving too far into politics, I managed to make him rethink some of his vitriol toward the people around him by telling him that I prefer to think of the world, and the thousands of people I meet every day on the road and at work and elsewhere, as so many individual, unique, complex stories, each as valuable as mine or his; the trust inherent in our interactions with each of these people, whether they do things we think are "stupid" or not, is the very core of our society—and if I see someone cut me off in traffic or forget to signal or something, I think of all the times I've done things on the road that I'm not proud of, the excuses I'd have offered, the extenuating circumstances I'd have cited, and remembered that as likely as not, everyone else on the road has exactly the same innocent and lucid story to tell behind every driving error. After a few paragraphs waxing lyrical along these lines, he admitted to being flummoxed—here he was, the touchy-feely liberal, learning lessons in tolerating his fellow man from someone he hardly knew! So I scored a few points there, but whether the thoughts took root or not remained to be seen.

    But he's a small-time fantasy author (and a poet at heart, naturally, though with some grudging familiarity with actual marketable skills such as printing and networking) who's had some modest success with his books, and he's sent me in-progress chapters of a story he's working on, for my own edification—and aspects of his thought processes that don't come across in direct conversation are easily betrayed by his writing. For example, one character—written in that clearly "autobiographical" sense, with just a little too much self-awareness to feel quite right as a character—soliloquizes about how unfair the modern world is in basing its mercantile system on money. How wonderful it would be, his character croons, if we could go back to the barter system, where a customer could trade a poem or the performance of an original song for, say, a cup of coffee. How far we as a people have fallen! We no longer see the value in a simple expression of creativity, and worship only the almighty dollar!

    Keeping quiet under the barrage of these kinds of thoughts is not easy, not in the least. All day and most of the night I find myself composing merciless responses which I know I'll never deliver, or—worse—which I suspect that someday I might, if the truth about my thoughts on these subjects should bubble to the surface. To the chapter in which the barter-system rant appeared, I responded in e-mail with careful structural critique; but in my mind and on the street as I walked Capri, I was rehearsing my rebuttal. Look at this, I'd hiss, holding up a $1 bill. See this? "This note is legal tender for all debts, public and private." Do you understand how powerful a statement that is? Do you realize the depth of the concept behind it? A form of currency that's completely worthless in and of itself, yet that anybody you meet is guaranteed to accept as payment for a dollar's worth of goods or services. You want to sing a song or read a poem to the Starbucks clerk? Well, who's to say she'll like the song, or think it's worth the price of a cup of Joe? And if she does, how does she explain it to her manager? Does she try to recite the poem to him, so he can write it down on his ledger and recite it in turn to the guy with the clipboard on the loading dock delivering his monthly shipment of supplies? What's the CFO supposed to do for the edification of the stockholders—tote up the number of songs performed, bushels of wheat grown and harvested, sidewalks swept, sweaters knitted, lawns mowed, and favors owed in the "credit receivable" column? Look—this little statement on this little piece of paper is one of the most profound developments in the history of humanity. It means that all you have to do is hand it over, and you can get one dollar's worth of coffee, Starbucks can get one dollar's worth of beans, the clerk can get one dollar's worth of pay, Starbucks' stockholders can recognize one dollar's worth of revenue—all 100% convertible with no questions asked, no subjective judgment of worth or character necessary, no exchange fee, no bribe, no cajoling, no threat of violence. You could be a bum off the street or you could be Elton John—the dollar in your hand buys you a cup of coffee, whether you're capable of singing a woeful ballad to the cashier's eyebrow or not. There's never been a symbol so powerful of the equality of all men in the eyes of the market as the phrase "This note is legal tender for all debts, public and private", and never has there been a more inherently unequal, abuse-prone, inefficient, and judgmental system as the barter system you pine for in your lavish prose. ...But I never say these things to him, because I figure, hey—I've got a blog where I can let off steam like this, if I have to.

    So: in his latest message, which I just received after a six-week period of silence during which I figured anything from suicide to the sudden loss of 300 pounds and election to public office could have happened to him, he says this:

    I could go into dreadful quantities of detail, and some of it
    might even rival Dostoyevsky or Tolstoy. It would also be lengthy and,
    if you'll pardon me sounding as if I'm insulting you by saying so,
    probably would put you into a coma out of sheer boredom. Suffice it to
    say that I've had enough psychological and financial trauma to damn near
    land me in hospital, poor house, and/or jail for going postal and doing
    my part to eliminate any and all registered, avowed, or potential
    Republicans in a hundred mile radius.

    (...and the body count gets larger...)

    And, later in the message, after a painfully lame joke he's putting into a story:

    Yeah, I know: If I'm that fucking clever, why ain't I rich?
    Answer: I'm a Democrat.

    He knows, because I told him early on, that I have a terrible, horrible secret that I'm keeping from him, something that if he knew it would ensure he'd never want to speak to me again. But naturally I can't help but think that one day in the not-too-distant future, I'll have to clue him in. I don't look forward to it... but then, I sort of do, in that morbid kind of way you fantasize about telling off your mother-in-law, because you know that once you've committed to it, you're in up to your neck and nothing you can do can save you—so you may as well just unload with both barrels and hope to emerge on the other side, charred but alive, rather than pulling back and continuing with the charade. So I rehearse the Moment of Revelation too:

    What's that secret about me? What's this big mystery? It's got something to do with giving the people around me the benefit of the doubt, acknowledging that all people have their own lives and their own valid opinions, and believing firmly that very few people are as stupid as we might like to call them. It's about trusting my fellow man to do the right thing. It's about believing that every person is entitled to exactly the same opportunities, regardless of how they might act upon them—nobody should have any externally-imposed handicaps OR advantages over anyone else. It's a conviction that people are fundamentally competent, and that furthermore we all ought to be held to a higher standard of conduct and conscience that is within the reach of all of us if only we commit to stretching ourselves upward to meet it. It has to do with respecting others' beliefs and opinions, spiritual and political, even if I disagree with them—and not fantasizing about visiting violence upon them or banning their thoughts because I don't find them agreeable. It's about the belief that equality, fairness, and opportunity arise from the natural evolution of society left to its own devices, rather than from undemocratic rulemaking that seeks to restrict the way in which we conduct our lives. It's about understanding that increased wealth is a boon to all people, and technical innovation and the value it creates reduces the divide between rich and poor, especially in the public's estimation of the value of a person's character. It's about realizing that self-determination is the key to the uplift of a downtrodden stratum of society, and alms and pity are no way to dispense self-determination. It's about a belief in earning your claim to freedom and wealth and happiness, not blaming others for withholding those things from you, and it's about taking personal responsibility for failure and recognizing it as a risk that's fundamentally inseparable from the freedom to succeed. It's about the realization of a world where success is and remains the touchstone of a life well lived, for a successful person will inspire, encourage, and invest in those around him, out of self-interest, civic responsibility, friendship, and because human beings are, I believe, good at heart.

    ...In other words, yes: I'm a Republican.


    (A bit glib, as readers will know, and not a conclusion I'd encourage anyone here to reach about me; but the only possible way to end the above thought, as I'm sure you'll agree.)

    Now... I don't know if the day will come when I have to say that to his face, or what his reaction will be if and when I do. There's no way I can see it being good, or indeed the conversation lasting more than one very brief message further. But on the infinitesimal chance that, horrified but undaunted, he should try to engage me on it, I can imagine him charging me as follows:

    But you're successful. You own your own house; you have a great life. Your job pays for your health care. You have the leeway to say these kinds of things, because it's no skin off your nose to stand behind these kinds of ideals. So, admit it: Republican rhetoric is just a justification of success. Right?

    Sure, I'd say. And Democratic rhetoric, then, is just a rationalization of failure.

    I can see how he thinks. I see where he's coming from. Being stuck in a hot and humid state with no air conditioning, no steady job, three hundred extra pounds, the constant threat of eviction, and no marketable skills, who wouldn't see such a world as being unfair? No matter how often we might say that "everyone has a unique gift to offer the world", there's always the stark truth that lots and lots of people either never find theirs, or never find a way to capitalize on it—or don't have such skills to begin with. I know dozens of people who can produce visual art that makes your eyes roll back in your head at how great it is—but they're stuck in dead-end jobs, unable to make a living off what they really enjoy and can uniquely offer the world. There are people out there who will buy their songs; only they'll do so with slips of paper that say This note is legal tender for all debts, public and private on them.

    But it's hard, really hard, for someone in that kind of position to vote in such a way that shuns things like universal health care, cushy welfare, affordable government-funded housing, and laws to prevent people from being condescending toward them—an umbrella that covers all derisive language from "hate speech" to sexual harassment to un-PC television shows—thus placing the gag of the social contract over the ability of the privileged to reinforce their separation in society from the unprivileged by their choice of words. All that looks very tempting to someone who's a have-not: it's the promise of a slightly less uncomfortable world to live in, plus a little well-earned knife-twisting at those accursed demons who have dared to place themselves at a higher level in the social strata. "Success", then, becomes a dirty word—the symbol of selling out, of cashing in, of hawking your soul for the allure of those little green slips of paper.

    The problem, though, is that this is all a distortion, and a pernicious one. American society, despite this tendency to demonize success, is one that celebrates the "self-made man". Reading Old World perspectives such as James Herriot's books, I learn that his Scottish upbringing (from which we get much of this same up-from-the-muck spirit) clashed with the English sensibility into which his career injected him in the hills of Yorkshire. The self-made man was looked on with deep suspicion. "Nothing was more damning," Herriot wrote, "than the darkly uttered statement: He had nowt when he fust got here." I'll never forget that, because it's as alien to me, and to most Americans, as it was to his mind, honed in the Highlands that gave us Adam Smith and other such luminaries whose very spirit—if not their actual words—are what guide us even in the present day.

    It saddens me to see someone so eloquent as this correspondent of mine, with such obvious creativity, driven to such a dismal, vindictive, nihilistic philosophy. But the real kicker is that I know that even if all his socialistic wishes were to come true—even if everyone made the same wage, even if he had free health care, even if all personal responsibility were lifted from every person's shoulders (especially his), even if we skipped down the sparkling manicured streets each morning to pick flowers and perform street theater in exchange for rent and gourmet meals, he would still not be happy. I know this is true—his capacity to be happy is limited only by his willingness to be happy, and once you've embarked on the victim-mentality slippery slope, it doesn't matter how good or how bad your surroundings actually are: you're going to find them intolerable. He could have been born in Afghanistan, where the things he complains about here and now would be not only meaningless, but the source of such cognitive dissonance that the people around him would kill their own siblings to be given the chance to have "problems" like bad drivers on the Texas interstate or there's a Christian in the White House or nobody loves a guy who's morbidly obese, the shallow bastards. But instead, he was born here, and he's determined for everything to be the fault of some heartless Other—anything to keep his failings from being his own.

    History is full of people who start from nothing, coming to a new country with three dollars and a ball of lint in their pockets, and despite not knowing the language or being part of the prevailing ethnic group, reaching pinnacles of personal excellence that makes them into folk heroes for anyone who worships at the shrine of the Self-Made Man. That's the model to which America aspires, even those of us who cheapen the impact of the lesson by demanding that life pander to us and make our lives easier. Life has never been easy. The difference in people lies between those who accept that truth as part of the nature of this Earth, and make the best of it; and those who refuse to accept it, believe ease and comfort and security are the natural state of existence, and harangue anyone and anything they see as standing in its way. Such people as the latter seldom make history.

    Monday, July 26, 2004
    10:29 - I feel a conspiracy theory coming on

    (top)
    Why do I get this strange feeling that Margo Kingston and the Cow-Orker are the same person?


    09:22 - Buy Our Crushed Dissent

    (top)

    Yay. MoveOn.org has released a "Future Soundtrack for America", with songs from every band on the planet, whose sales proceeds will go toward a very deserving charity: helping defeat George W. Bush.

    The album features a pretty amazing line up of artists: Blink-182, Bright Eyes, David Byrne, Laura Cantrell, Clem Snide, Death Cab for Cutie, Mike Doughty, The Flaming Lips, Fountains of Wayne, Jimmy Eat World, Ben Kweller, The Long Winters, Nada Surf, OK Go, Old 97's, R.E.M., Sleater-Kinney, They Might Be Giants, Tom Waits, will.i.am of The Black Eyed Peas, and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs are all featured. In addition, the family of Elliott Smith contributed a mix of "A Distorted Reality Is Now A Necessity To Be Free," a song from Smith's as-yet-unreleased last record, and the first release of new material since his death in late 2003.

    Together, the songs present a passionate rallying cry for all of us to take our country back. Mike Doughty's song "Move On" hones in on the passion that drives all of our activism, singing "I love my country so much, like an exasperating friend." Tom Waits' contribution is a heartbreaking song about a letter home from a soldier in Iraq. R.E.M. takes on Bush and the war in Iraq, and They Might Be Giants (whose John Flansburgh pulled the project together) revisit a campaign song from the Presidential campaign of 1840.

    You know what? You know how isolating this is? My opinion of some of these bands would be raised if I found out they were just doing this for the publicity.

    No way is this the same planet that 9/11 happened on.

    Sunday, July 25, 2004
    21:13 - Gotta watch those Jetta drivers, man
    http://boston.mirror-image.com/newsvideo/softwin/template.html?OAS_pos=SPONSOR2&midd

    (top)
    Richard Stevens:
    Busted.

    I see at least one count of using an iSight in an extremely stupid manner, Your Honor...


    21:08 - 21st Century House
    http://www.cnn.com/2004/SHOWBIZ/TV/01/19/tv.amishinthecity.ap/

    (top)
    I guess it was only a matter of time before this happened:

    Network executives are informally calling it "Amish in the City," although they said Sunday the title will likely change.

    "To have people who don't have television walk down Rodeo Drive and be freaked out by what they see, I think will be interesting television," said CBS chairman Leslie Moonves, who also oversees UPN. "It will not be denigrating to the Amish."

    It's premiering later this month.

    That's the thing about reality shows, isn't it: there's no concept for one that you can think of in parody, that won't one day be made into an actual series...


    19:20 - At least this doesn't happen in the minors

    (top)
    Watching the HDTV broadcast of the Yankees/Red Sox game at Fenway this afternoon, we couldn't help but notice how much time the ESPN announcers spent throughout the game talking about John Kerry (who was in the audience, in a luxury box right next to the Red Sox dugout), the Democratic Convention, and how everybody in the city is just drunk with anticipation of the coming week's citywide happytime party. The HD cameras keep flitting back to Kerry to get his ho-ho-ho, I say, hurrah to all that! Smashing defense of the wicket, what? reaction shots to Red Sox homeruns, to the faces of Hollywood big-names who were also in attendance (Ben Affleck, the Meet the Press guy, and others), and to just generally talk about how great Kerry is. They spent a whole half-inning interviewing him instead of covering the game, for Pete's sake.

    I know we can't expect such a thing as impartiality from our media, not when they openly admit their biases and stick out their lower lips like, "What? You wanna fighdaboudit?" But come on... there have got to be some corners of the entertainment world that are free of politics, right? I'm not asking for a lot—I don't want political bias in my direction, I just want not to have to worry about stumbling across yet another blankly-grinning knot of Kerry-bots on every channel. I don't want to have to start watching The 700 Club just because I can count on it to cause me less teeth-grinding pain than what's on the rest of the dial.

    Last night we were out in Stockton watching a Ports game—single-A ball, in the Rangers system, in a biome all its own both politically and economically—two hours from San Jose, it's a quiet agrarian community where RC Cola has the concession contracts instead of Coke or Pepsi, and where in the parking lot of the stadium, there are actually one or two cars with yellow "Support Our Troops" ribbons and "Bush/Cheney '04" bumper stickers in between all the "Vote Bush Out" and "War Is Not the Answer" ones. And you know? It was great.

    This is what it's come to: I'll take cover under country music, nostalgic Route 66 Americana, and outposts of a staid Midwest just to make the noise stop.

    It's barely even worth asking whether Kerry thinks he's risking any votes from battleground New York by mugging shamelessly for the HD cameras as a Red Sox fan.

    UPDATE: And then there's The Simpsons, which tonight featured Mr. Burns forming a media monopoly and crushing all dissent and protestors, including pure sweet Lisa who dares to speak out under his iron boot. The conclusion, if I'm reading it right, makes fun of bloggers, too.

    No more... no more... I'll talk, I'll talk...

    Friday, July 23, 2004
    16:34 - Now I'm a believer

    (top)
    Back in April, I was fairly skeptical of the whole media-bias meme. I hadn't read the relevant exposés on the subject; and what's more, I hadn't paid much attention to the big media outlets for a long time, so I figured I didn't have a basis for judgment. But I did still get Newsweek, and I guess at the time I still hadn't been in a habit of reading it with an eye out for unfair characterizations. I looked at each issue in a vacuum, and ignored any trends I might have noticed in what they chose to cover week upon week. So I never really noticed anything untoward.

    But I'd begun by that time to suspect that the rumors I'd heard were true; what with dishonesty scandals breaking from CNN to the New York Times, I figured I'd best start narrowing my eyes a little harder at the pages I casually flipped through while in the bathroom.

    So on 4/30, I posted this:

    The way I see it, there are two possibilities for what Newsweek will use as the world-shattering cover story on next week's issue:

    1) UNSCAM. [The story then about a week old]
    2) This. [The Abu Ghraib story, which had just broken]

    Ooh! Ooh! I know! Teacher pick me!

    Looking back on this naïve version of myself, from three months on, I can only sit and ruefully laugh. How could I even have imagined that a scandal in which the UN thoroughly disgraced itself and deflated any lingering presuppositions of its humanitarianism and extranational integrity might be able to upstage a story about some bored National Guardsmen fucking up in a war-zone prison? What made me think they would even be in the same ballpark? As I wrote the post, I half-expected to be proven wrong—that the media would blow the cover off UNSCAM, recognizing the truly monstrous level of global-scale betrayal that it implied, and realizing the pointlessness and inherent divisiveness of spending too much time on Abu Ghraib. I actually thought the mainstream media would see UNSCAM as the bigger story, put aside pretensions of kingmaking, and do its job.

    Even three months ago I had no idea, quite honestly, how firmly these media organs had planted their flags.

    Oh, the disillusionment.

    So now Dean asks:
    Rather Biased notes that CBS news has run exactly one story on Sandy Berger and that it sided with Berger. It ran one story on Joe Wilson's recent credibility problems, and suggested he was the victim of a smear job. It has run not one single story on the UN Oil-for-Food scandal, or about Jamie Gorelick. But it has found the time to run 80 stories about Iraqi prisoner abuse and 29 on Wilson's accusations of Republican malfeasance.

    Why do people even bother watching CBS news?

    The April version of me might have feebly tried to suggest something about how maybe the color scheme in Dan Rather's tie is better than Tom Brokaw's, or something; but today? I think the answer's pretty damn obvious:

    Because it's fundamentally dishonest and partisan. Which is what the viewership demands.

    Thursday, July 22, 2004
    20:23 - There's the truth... and there's The Truth!
    http://www.doonesbury.com/strip/dailydose/index.html?uc_full_date=20040721

    (top)
    Of all the subject matter Garry Trudeau could have chosen for Doonesbury this week, is anybody out there surprised that he'd pick OutFoxed?

    Trudeau seems to really be reaching for his satiric muse, though, and she may be getting tired of having been groped so often. Here's today's strip:



    Now, let me just be sure I'm understanding this right: An editor sends out a memo to professional journalists that asks them not to editorialize... and Trudeau sees this as evidence of an agenda?

    So he's saying that the only way for journalists not to be biased is for them to feel free to "mourn the loss of U.S troops and wonder out loud why we're there"? The only way for journalists not to be biased is to editorialize? Am I getting this right, Garry?

    Ye gods. He really is far gone, isn't he? But yet this strip, at first reading, sounds damning, doesn't it? As long as you don't think too hard about it.

    This is another prime example of those pernicious and malleable sound bites that are only scandalous if you announce them in just the right tone of voice. It's exactly like Michael Moore's snide comments about Bush finishing reading My Pet Goat with those third-graders for seven minutes after hearing about the second tower being hit. If the school's principal relates that tale, audience members well might say, "What a guy!" and "Those poor kids—good for Bush, letting them finish having their special moment, instead of going crazy right there in the room!" and "Now that's being calm and collected—imagine how sick he must have felt inside, yet he did what he knew was important!" But if Moore describes the scene, using the same words but adding a sneering tone and an ominous soundrack, the audience says, "What an idiot!" and "He's incompetent!" and "I'll bet he was in on it!"

    By that same technique does Garry Trudeau guide his readers into a mindset where a memo from Fox's top editors asking his anchorpeople not to dish on-camera about how the war is wrong is grand evidence of the dread evil of Rupert Murdoch's extremist, worse-than-al-Jazeera propaganda network.

    Jeez. I almost hope this isn't the worst of the slings and arrows that OutFoxed has to hurl, because it's pretty frickin' pathetic.


    17:51 - Again, not that it matters
    http://coldfury.com/index.php?p=4668

    (top)
    Mike at Cold Fury:

    From the 9/11 commission, heard on the radio just now: “There is no question whatsoever that there was a relationship between Iraq and al Qaeda.” As if any justification beyond the several others for removing Saddam had ever been needed, there it is as plain as it can be made. And may all the antiwarriors choke on it.

    Woebegone contrite retractions from the “Bush liiied!” crowd now gleefully accepted; all hair shirt coupons cheerfully honored. No other discounts, no returns, no rain checks.

    God, it must absolutely suck to be a lib here lately.

    Oh, no. All this means is that the 9/11 Commission is just a Bush Administration tool after all, just like everyone else who suggests that the war might have been a good idea. Even though a month ago the 9/11 Commission was being paraded around in front of us as the Righteous Instrument of Bush's Destruction.

    Mike's correct in that in order to be on the Left and claim to have a consistent moral and intellectual position on Bush and the war, you have to have an attention span no longer than a week, so you can dismiss Joe Wilson and the Sixteen Words as "yesterday's news", and so if you can wait out the Sandy Berger thing until the end of the month without the complict media even mentioning it, us dumb Americans will all just forget, forget, forget. Whereas, to the best of my admittedly self-interested knowledge, I and other pro-war bloggers have maintained precisely the same arguments ever since the beginning: Iraq is a strategic goal, an opportunity to seed liberal democracy in the Middle East, a way to put pressure on Iran and Saudi Arabia from close proximity while being able to stabilize the oil supply and keep it from being used as a weapon against us, a chance to remove a brutal dictator, free the Arabs under his thumb, and give them a view of a benevolent America rather than the monstrous one they've always seen on al-Jazeera, and to eliminate any potential threat of WMD proliferation by a crazed neo-Saladin. (More or less in that order.) These were my justifications in the summer of 2002; these were my justifications on March 21, 2003; these were my justifications on April 10, 2003; these were my justifications as we unearthed fighter jets buried in sand dunes and absorbed IED attacks using sarin bombs; these were my justifications as we faced a distinct lack of any major stockpiles of banned weapons; these were my justifications as the Abu Ghraib story broke; and these were my justifications on the day Allawi's government assumed sovereignty. I guess that makes me stubborn, or lacking in nuance or something. Well, call it that if you want to, but my word for it is being right. That's what we call it in engineering, when you don't have to keep changing your vision to fit reality.

    Eh—I dunno. For some people it's just fun not to have to stick with one idea for more than a week, so it's just as well that events keep the ball in motion. More power to 'em. Just not before November 2nd.


    15:24 - Well, it's not like it matters after all
    http://www.ejectejecteject.com/archives/000102.html

    (top)
    Yay! Bill Whittle's back! Sort of.

    But though his latest post isn't one of his capital-E Essays, it does have this observation:

    The best thing about Eject! Eject! Eject!, of course, is that it gives me a voice. It puts me in the fight. The worst thing about Eject! Eject! Eject! is that that voice obligates you to stay in the fight. And when you feel like you are a part of the fight, it is very, very hard not to be swinging all the time. In the car on the way home. Watching the news. Overhearing a conversation in the next room. And even with all the energy and stamina you can muster, sometimes you need to hear that bell and sit down for those precious sixty seconds. Not throw in the towel. Just sit down, spit in a bucket, and try to get the idea of hitting hard and getting hit back out of your head for a few precious moments. Unclench your fists. Breathe.

    ....Yeah. No kidding.

    Bill has the courage to hang it up for seven weeks at a time, though, and that's more than I can say for me. Ah well—at least I'm still enjoying the process, even if it doesn't particularly look that way on certain days.


    13:54 - DEFCON 5, all is clear, let's go fly a kite
    http://washtimes.com/national/20040721-101403-1508r.htm

    (top)
    So the mystery has been solved about the bizarre Syrian musicians who behaved on their flight to San Diego as though they were trying at all costs to make everyone on the plane think they were about to become hijack victims. Turns out all's well, there's no reason for anyone to have worried, and the passengers who thought there was something odd about Middle Eastern men queueing up en masse at the lavatory, passing weird paper bags back and forth to each other, and making little hand signals to each other over their Qurans are just paranoid. Racist too, I'm sure.

    But that's just one of the stories of airsickness coming out these days, and the Washington Times has a good roundup of them.

    A second pilot said that, on one of his recent flights, an air marshal forced his way into the lavatory at the front of his plane after a man of Middle Eastern descent locked himself in for a long period.

    The marshal found the mirror had been removed and the man was attempting to break through the wall. The cockpit was on the other side.

    But I'm sure he was just a musician on his way to a gig. Or a real estate agent. Or a Palm salesman. Any one of whom probably had perfectly good reasons to try to break through the bulkhead from the lavatory into the cockpit he frickin' tried to BREAK into the COCKPIT THROUGH THE BATHROOM WALL and we're only finding out about it NOW, as part of a SURVEY?!

    Eh. But why worry? As everyone knows, the terror alert system is a big sham, a tool of the Bush Administration's scheme to keep us all programmed into a state of terrified torpor by a manufactured, fictional "threat", and hateful and fearful of innocent Arabs and Muslims in our midst.

    Now let's forget our troubles with a big bowl of strawberry ice cream!


    13:37 - The funny papers
    http://vodkapundit.com/archives/006239.php

    (top)
    "Fisking Dowd," says commenter Conrad, "is ungallant. It's like beating up yor baby sister."

    Yeah, well, whatever. Sometimes it just can't be avoided.

    As I keep saying, people these days seem to like to get their political opinions via osmosis from whatever prevailing winds blow from the comedian's stage. I don't think it's too much to imagine that at least as many politically-minded people read the New York Times for Maureen Dowd's staggeringly obtuse editorial insights as for the front-page headlines where the bias is limited to which facts can be trumpeted and which can be hidden away, depending.

    So when one of her columns appears, how can someone like Stephen Green not instantly sling spidey-webs all over it?

    It's well worth a read. But, as with most things of this nature, only those who already wish to see Dowd punctured and jetting flatulently around the room will enjoy it, or see it at all.


    12:00 - There but for the grace of God
    http://www.capmag.com/article.asp?ID=3809

    (top)
    Via Dean Esmay and Bill Quick, a cautionary set of statistics about where the best of intentions may lead:

    Health care can have a zero price to the user, but that doesn't mean it's free or has a zero cost. The problem with a good or service having a zero price is that demand is going to exceed supply. When price isn't allowed to make demand equal supply, other measures must be taken. One way to distribute the demand over a given supply is through queuing -- making people wait. Another way is to have a medical czar who decides who is eligible, under what conditions, for a particular procedure -- for example, no hip replacement or renal dialysis for people over 70 or no heart transplants for smokers.

    I'm wondering just how many Americans would like Canada's long waiting lists, medical czars deciding what treatments we get and an exodus of doctors.

    You can look at either of two things: a) the fact that at least nobody has to pay up front for this health care, regardless of ability; or b) in which direction people sneak across the border for it.

    It's an observation that many, but yet too few, made regarding Soviet socialism and the Berlin Wall, and about Cuba. Sure, they had da free health care and da 100% literacy on the other side of da wall. Why, then, oh why doesn't anyone take a raft to Havana or jump the fence Eastward when they need a CAT scan or a better life for their children? Why's everyone going the other direction?

    Yet something tells me that we won't learn this lesson until we've tried changing our system to match what's never worked in the past. I guess we oughtta get some points for optimism.

    Wednesday, July 21, 2004
    15:30 - Dumpster diving

    (top)
    Gee, it's been some time since I posted any of the fascinating insights from the ever-illuminating Ar-Rahman list, hasn't it?

    Well, let's rectify that situation:

    | assalaam u alaikum
    | r marriages permissable between relatives? like i have a
    | daughter i want her to get married either with my
    | brother's son or my sister's son ? is it correct
    | according to islamic rules? and if yes has it any
    | scientific disadvantage.

    Walaikumas salaam,

    Islam permits inter-family marriages (pls refer to Sura Al-Nisa) where clear definations are present as to who we can & who we can't marry. It is amazing that whilst the Quran does not specify how to offer prayers (salah) how to perform Hajj how to observe fast during ramadhan it very clearly in details talk on the subject of marriage and women rights. However please be clear that the prospective bride & groom are happy with the arrangement.

     As far as scientific disadvantages are concerned I am from the medical/scientific background and yes there are disease which are passed on genetically however there is no proven analysis/data whether this is highly prevalent amongst inter-family marriages. All I can say is if you marry within the gene pool you are aware of you can take precautions relating to ceratin disease like heart/diabetic etc but what is the surety that outside the family gene pool does not have these or worse ailments?

    Regards
    Riaz

    Ahh. Mm. I see.

    Once again, my blinkered Westernized philosophy has imprisoned my thinking. Thank you, Riaz, "from the medical/scientific background", for showing me the way. I brim with tolerance and understanding.

    Just like Nicholas Kristof, whose op-ed in the New York Times a few days ago was also forwarded gleefully to the list.

    "Jesus merely raised one hand a few inches and a yawning chasm opened in the earth, stretching far and wide enough to swallow all of them. They tumbled in, howling and screeching, but their wailing was soon quashed and all was silent when the earth closed itself again."

    These are the best-selling novels for adults in the United States, and they have sold more than 60 million copies worldwide. The latest is "Glorious Appearing," which has Jesus returning to Earth to wipe all non-Christians from the planet. It's disconcerting to find ethnic cleansing celebrated as the height of piety.

    If a Muslim were to write an Islamic version of "Glorious Appearing" and publish it in Saudi Arabia, jubilantly describing a massacre of millions of non-Muslims by God, we would have a fit. We have quite properly linked the fundamentalist religious tracts of Islam with the intolerance they nurture, and it's time to remove the motes from our own eyes.

    I wonder if Kristof is familiar with the meaning of the word "ethnic" (or "mote"). Or has heard a typical Friday sermon from Mecca or Damascus.

    UPDATE: George H. has done me one better. Man, go nuts—this I'd love to see.


    14:25 - They learn well
    http://www.playbill.com/news/article/87446.html

    (top)
    Far too well.

    Just like the terrorists do.

    They know how to push it, just far enough, until society pushes back against them—then they whimper about being persecuted and repressed until everybody leaves them alone. Then they push harder.

    Just like the terrorists do.

    They know that all they have to do is provoke a response—any response—and they win all battles at once, moral, political, tactical, strategic. They know that they've paralyzed their opponents into cowering immobility.

    Just like the terrorists do.

    They even know they're frickin' insane. But they also know a little insanity is justified, for the sake of the greater good.

    Just like the terrorists do.

    We had better $%^#$! not give any of these people any reason to celebrate on November 2nd.

    Tuesday, July 20, 2004
    00:30 - Good on you
    http://timblair.spleenville.com/archives/007232.php

    (top)
    Thank you, Australia, for being one of only six sane countries apparently left on Earth.


    17:57 - The language of poetry

    (top)
    I wasn't gonna post this, but... well, I guess I'm just a bastard that way. Besides, it's too good not to.



    Hey, at least I blurred it.


    14:24 - Ulan Bataar Awaits
    http://littlegreenfootballs.com/weblog/?entry=11788_Ronstadt-_America_=_Weimar_Repub

    (top)
    Words fail me.

    “It’s a real conflict for me when I go to a concert and find out somebody in the audience is a Republican or fundamental Christian. It can cloud my enjoyment. I’d rather not know. . .”

    [said Linda Ronstadt.]

    The state of the nation: “I saw a movie recently about a camel and these people in Mongolia, and I relate to them better than people here in this country. It looks like (Germany’s) Weimar Republic to me here.”

    They don't fail Moore, though:

    In a statement directed at Mr Timmins, Michael Moore said: "For you to throw Linda Ronstadt off the premises because she dared to say a few words in support of me and my film is simply stupid and un-American."

    Oh yeah, I thought I'd heard something about people in this country getting called "un-American" for expressing dissenting views.

    The LGF commenters are having a field day. But the best one yet:

    I don't know how much more of this progressive tolerance and love I can take.

    Mmph.

    Monday, July 19, 2004
    02:07 - Pants! Pants! Sing the praises of pants
    http://vodkapundit.com/archives/006195.php

    (top)
    Stephen Green has the silliest, and yet most lavishly apt reaction yet to the revelation about Sandy Berger, Clinton's NSA advisor, hiding documents about Osama bin Laden and counseling Clinton not to pursue him.

    Some are calling this a "Watergate-sized scandal". But if this becomes as big as Watergate—nay, hell, if it becomes as big as Abu Ghraib—I'll retract any aspersions I have made about the slanted media.

    And if not, well...


    20:00 - Life imitates art
    http://instapundit.com/archives/016630.php

    (top)
    So we've got Arnie quite literally kicking all kinds of ass all around the State; he's got 70% of California cozying up to him just to bask in his glow (as opposed to the reported 30% approval rating for the State Assembly), he's restored California's credit rating and got the Davis budget under control, he's declared war on bloodsucking trial lawyers and frivolous lawsuits by proposing gigantic taxes on punitive damages, and he's done it all with a slickness even Clinton could never match. And now, as he starts to unveil his grand master plan for a complete political overhaul of the State's intractably byzantine legislative system, he slips into character to deliver the coup de grace:

    But the governor was engaged in a lot more than just sound-bite politics. His spokesman indicated he was seriously considering sponsoring initiatives to both change the entrenched legislature to part-time status and to redraw California’s gerrymandered political districts. “This weekend, the budget fight stopped being about local government and started being about major political reform,” said Dan Schnur, a GOP political consultant.

    The California electorate is hungry for such change, and the governor had large crowds in three cities eating out of his hand. “I want you to go out there and go after those Democratic legislators. Vote them out of office, and we will put new faces in there,” he said in Stockton. The audience in Ontario went wild when he launched into a description of how legislators catered to special interests: “If they don’t have the guts to come up here in front of you and say, ‘I don’t want to represent you, I want to represent those special interests, the unions, the trial lawyers, and I want them to make the millions of dollars—if they don’t have the guts, I call them girlie men.”

    Needless to say, the crowd loved it. And what lesson do we take from this? Not that Arnie is a great politician, though he may well be; but that after all the smoke has settled, it appears that this dirty little secret may be showing its face after all: we Californians actually did vote for a character, not a politician. Or at least in part. We might as well face it: we didn't hire him to be just another vague, harmless, compromising diplodoormat with a set of mild moderate views and a charcoal-gray suit; we hired him to be Arnold Schwarzenegger. We were fed up with Gray Davis and bureaucracy-as-usual, and wanted someone to come bursting in, guns blazing, and take out the trash. No more PC bullshit, we said; just get in here and kick some ass. We might have convinced ourselves that we were punching the ballot for "Mr. Schwarzenegger", but the image in our minds was the T-100.

    But is this such a bad thing? When we vote for a politician who's already typecast a certain way, as an action hero or a football player or a cowboy, we do it with a certain gut feeling that the person will execute the office in a way that's informed by the role in which we picture him. We've done it before. And it doesn't seem to be beyond the realm of possibility that the politician in question actually will decide, as Arnie seems to have done here, to play the role to the hilt. If the public wants the Terminator, he thinks, or the musclebound caricature of him from SNL—well then, that's what he'll be.

    Damn if it isn't working.

    But this is the best bit, straight from the self-parodying, "can dish it out but can't take it" files:

    Democrats responded that the remark was sexist, anti-gay and bullying...

    Ha! HAAAH! HAAA HA HA HA HA HA ha ha ha HAAAAAAAA! <snerk> HEEEE hee hee hee heeheeheeheeheeee heh heh heh. <snort> Pbbbbbtttttt. Ha ha ha HAAAAAAAA HAW HAW HAW Hhhheeheeheeeeee. <wiping tears> Hee hee hee hee HAAA HA HA HAAAAAH!

    Oh, Lord have mercy, that's just beautiful.


    15:25 - "They have guns, you know"
    http://www.opinionjournal.com/extra/?id=110005369

    (top)
    This is an awesome read. Witness the difference between the small towns of Stewart and Hyder, on opposite sides of the international boundary in Alaska's panhandle, become acquainted with someone by the name of GOVERNMENT AGENT, and learn the meaning of thumos.

    In every language in which we have tested this, "frontier" means something nearly opposite to its American sense. The French Larousse gives only one meaning for frontière, and that is the border between two nations--which in an oft-invaded country like France conjures up danger rather than opportunity. In Mandarin Chinese the term is bian jie or "boundary." In Cantonese, the word for frontier is huang di, which carries a negative connotation of "wilderness" or "wasteland." A frontier is a barren hardship post, not a place of opportunities, explains a Chinese colleague.

    Russians have a very similar attitude toward frontiers. A Russian who discovered that one of these authors maintains his judicial chambers in Alaska blurted out, "Why were you sent?" The idea that there might be appeal in an assignment on America's Alaskan frontier seemed incomprehensible to him.

    During America's expansion westward, frontier transformed into the very opposite of a boundary or limit. Its primary meaning in American English came to be a "boundless realm of possibility." Indeed some foreign dictionaries call this meaning of "frontier" an "Americanism."

    There's way too much to quote, so just read it all. It's just fascinating. Oh, and it's by a judge on the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals, which I'd been led to believe doesn't think like this at all... what's up with that?


    13:44 - This is what happens when you stop worshipping the Sun
    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2004/07/18/wsun18.xml&sSheet=/n

    (top)
    It gets mad and heats up.

    Global warming has finally been explained: the Earth is getting hotter because the Sun is burning more brightly than at any time during the past 1,000 years, according to new research.

    A study by Swiss and German scientists suggests that increasing radiation from the sun is responsible for recent global climate changes.

    Dr Sami Solanki, the director of the renowned Max Planck Institute for Solar System Research in Gottingen, Germany, who led the research, said: "The Sun has been at its strongest over the past 60 years and may now be affecting global temperatures.

    "The Sun is in a changed state. It is brighter than it was a few hundred years ago and this brightening started relatively recently - in the last 100 to 150 years."

    Dr Solanki said that the brighter Sun and higher levels of "greenhouse gases", such as carbon dioxide, both contributed to the change in the Earth's temperature but it was impossible to say which had the greater impact.

    . . .

    Dr Gareth Jones, a climate researcher at the Met Office, said that Dr Solanki's findings were inconclusive because the study had not incorporated other potential climate change factors.

    "The Sun's radiance may well have an impact on climate change but it needs to be looked at in conjunction with other factors such as greenhouse gases, sulphate aerosols and volcano activity," he said. The research adds weight to the views of David Bellamy, the conservationist. "Global warming - at least the modern nightmare version - is a myth," he said. "I am sure of it and so are a growing number of scientists. But what is really worrying is that the world's politicians and policy-makers are not.

    "Instead, they have an unshakeable faith in what has, unfortunately, become one of the central credos of the environmental movement: humans burn fossil fuels, which release increased levels of carbon dioxide - the principal so-called greenhouse gas - into the atmosphere, causing the atmosphere to heat up. They say this is global warming: I say this is poppycock."

    Better not say that too loudly, Doctor, or our new gods might hear you and have you "disappeared".


    13:22 - Señor Moore no es macho, es solamente un borracho
    http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=501&ncid=716&e=7&u=/ap/20040719/ap_o

    (top)
    Wow. It's the Dixie Chicks all over again:

    LAS VEGAS - Singer Linda Ronstadt not only got booed, she got the boot after lauding filmmaker Michael Moore and his new movie “Fahrenheit 9/11” during a performance at the Aladdin hotel-casino.

    Before singing “Desperado” for an encore Saturday night, the 58-year-old rocker called Moore a “great American patriot” and “someone who is spreading the truth.” She also encouraged everybody to see the documentary about President Bush.

    Ronstadt’s comments drew loud boos and some of the 4,500 people in attendance stormed out of the theater. People also tore down concert posters and tossed cocktails into the air.

    “It was a very ugly scene,” Aladdin President Bill Timmins told The Associated Press. “She praised him and all of a sudden all bedlam broke loose.”

    Timmins, who is British and was watching the show, decided Ronstadt had to go — for good. Timmins said he didn’t allow Ronstadt back in her luxury suite and she was escorted off the property.

    Bewilderingly enough, the audience didn't appear to have been induced to act in this way by armed Secret Service agents lining the aisles. I'm sure Elton John and Whoopi Goldberg will continue scratching their heads over this inexplicable, maddening behavior, even as it begins to become a pattern as we recognize that Hollywood and the entertainment industry as a bloc have become thoroughly, dangerously, disconnected from the reality we cherish.

    I know which casino will get my money next time I'm in Vegas.

    Via LGF, which has a ton of juicy stuff today. No, more than usual, which is saying something.

    UPDATE: of course, people are already yammering that Ronstadt's "First Amendment Rights" are being curtailed. Guys, I hate to be a broken MP3 file, but new rule: You have to have READ the First Amendment before you invoke it in an indignant statement of purpose.

    Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

    Not a word in there about how if a performer, hired to sing, says something political and unpopular, her audience is prohibited from booing her off the stage. Congress is the only thing that the First Amendment applies to. Congress! And there's no word on whether any members of Congress were in attendance at the Aladdin, or wrote down new laws against Ronstadt before cramming them in bottles and hurling them at her head.

    In other words, the First Amendment does not even apply here.

    The First Amendment is a presumption that there are no laws curtailing free speech, except common-sense ones like about yelling "Movie" in a crowded firehouse. It's a prohibition against the federal government making any new such laws. Got that? It's about making new laws, not about directing how private citizens may argue with each other or decide freely whom to support with their time and their dollars.

    You want balance? You want democracy? Then everybody gets their say. Not just the ones you happen to agree with. Don't miss Sparkey's vivid illustration of this pernicious little meme at work.

    And incidentally, this reminds me: what if, instead of our First Amendment, we had something like Canada's Charter of Rights and Freedoms?

    2. Everyone has the following fundamental freedoms:

    a) freedom of conscience and religion;
    b) freedom of thought, belief, opinion and expression, including freedom of the press and other media of communication;
    c) freedom of peaceful assembly; and
    d) freedom of association.

    Since this language is vaguely worded in the positive, rather than crafted as a specific prohibition against the federal government—do you suppose this little event might have gone down differently? Would Timmins have had the "right" to boot Ronstadt out? After all, she has the fundamental freedom to say what she wants, right? Does this language enjoin just the government, or private citizens too? What does it actually mean?

    Sunday, July 18, 2004
    21:03 - An unexpected treasure trove
    http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPublishedPlaylist?id=30175

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    Someone's iMix: The WORST Music on iTunes!

    Some of this stuff is pure fool's gold. (Yes, it's got William Hung in it...)


    14:28 - They know what's important

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    Just now on KCBS, at the top o' the hour:

    Coming up: An Iraqi-government-sanctioned U.S. airstrike against suspected insurgents in the Iraqi city of Fallujah has killed some fourteen people. Local hospitals, however, report that some civilians are among the dead. Also, in sports...

    Don't you just love it? Not a word about whether the attack was successful or not. Only that there were civilians killed.

    Sure glad our media has its priorities in order.


    12:43 - That's more like what I had in mind
    http://www.ornery.org/essays/warwatch/2004-06-13-1.html

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    Via Cold Fury—Orson Scott Card is at least one storysmith who's put his talents to good use lately.

    How stupid are Americans?

    I think the answer is:

    As dumb as we wanna be.

    Well, let's come back to that thought.

    Kerry's voting record in the Senate says that he'd rather our military consisted of a sixty-man chorus dressed in camo and singing "Give Me Some Men Who Are Stout-Hearted Men."

    And maybe, maybe, one bugler.

    If it had been up to Kerry, we wouldn't have had enough of a military to take over downtown Dallas, let alone Iraq.

    But, just like Clinton, Kerry has realized that you can say anything you want during the campaign. As long as you're the Democratic candidate, the liberal media will actually take your promises seriously; and when the Republicans start attacking your record, they'll accuse them of "negative campaigning."

    Not only that, but Kerry's sudden "stronger defense" plans are not provoking howls of outrage from the anti-war wing of his own party.

    Why is that? Don't you wonder?

    I mean, they're still ripping into President Bush as if he were the anti-Christ -- no, as if he were Mel Gibson -- because they hate this war that has closed down two terrorist-sponsoring governments and liberated millions from tyranny.

    But when Kerry promises to do exactly what President Bush has been doing, only "better," they don't attack him at all. Why is that?

    For the same reason that the economic leftists of the Democratic Party didn't attack Clinton back in 1992.

    They don't believe him.

    It's as simple as that.

    They know that Kerry, like Clinton, is merely saying whatever it takes to get elected. You paint yourself as the sober moderate so people will vote for you. Then, when you're in office, you behave exactly like the leftist you really are.

    This would explain the peals of giddy laughter that Kerry gets whenever he drools out that joke about how Bush wants to "lay off your camel, tax your shovel, kick your ass and tell you there is no promised land", so hoary that it's been used on every President since Truman; his audience, apparently, is simply so starved to hear any words come out of any mouth but Bush's that they'll cheer however loudly they have to, for whatever moronic babble it is, toward the greater goal of having Bush defeated in November. Issues? Issues don't matter. Deeds don't matter. Character doesn't matter. The only thing, evidently, that matters is the name—as long as the name of the guy sitting in the Oval Office is not spelled B-U-S-H, the actual person whose name it is could be Rasputin and they'd still slurp at his toes.

    But the vast middle group, the people who get their news from Leno and Letterman and Saturday Night Live and The Daily Show, all they know is "Bush Is Dumb" and "Kerry's Going to Win the War." So guess which one they'll vote for.

    Precisely what I've been saying. We've become a people that derives our political views from the Ivy-League snobbishness of Doonesbury, the anarchic nihilism of George Carlin, and whoever can do the best impression of the President on Saturday Night Live. Sincerity is lost; we assume that whatever any politician actually says is a lie, so we depend on humorists and satirists—dealers in irony and invective—to have done our thinking for us, to have analyzed the politicians' lie-filled speeches and separated the meaning from the rhetoric, then gone to the trouble to distill it int