g r o t t o 1 1

Peeve Farm
Breeding peeves for show, not just to keep as pets
Brian Tiemann
Silicon ValleyNew York-based purveyor of a confusing mixture of Apple punditry, political bile, and sports car rentals.

btman at grotto11 dot com

Read These Too:

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James Lileks
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As the Apple Turns
Entropicana
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Capitalist Lion
Red Letter Day
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Corsair the Rational Pirate
.clue
Ravishing Light
Rosenblog
Cartago Delenda Est



Cars without compromise.





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12/24/2001 - 12/30/2001
12/17/2001 - 12/23/2001
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
07:19 - So like

(top)
There's a little strip-mall-type restaurant near me called "Potato Republic".

I'm like, was "Dictatership" already taken?

Or is this the new name that they adopted after the war?

Monday, November 2, 2009
07:50 - Buy me some tofu and gluten-free unsalted puffed rice crackers

(top)
Five Guys is unique among burger chains in that they provide big boxes of peanuts right next to the doors, both salted and unsalted, so you can munch your way through a couple of handfuls while you wait for your burger to show up. However, they have a sign next to them warning customers not to take the peanuts outside the store. Because, you know, these days, with allergies and all... someone could grab a handful of peanuts, go outside and fling them at someone walking by on the sidewalk, and then Five Guys would be liable for providing free access to a deadly weapon.

Much has been made lately of the rise in allergies and food reactions in recent years. Why, back in the day, people used to give out handfuls of peanuts for Halloween. These days you'd probably be charged with criminal negligence, hardly better than if you'd handed out actual apples with razor blades in them. Remember, kids: only accept candy that comes in a sealed wrapper! And never mind those "Schoolhouse Rock" shorts that told kids that "the best foods come in wrappers of their own"!

But now I wonder how long it'll be before peanuts are banned from baseball parks. I mean, honestly: what bigger liability nightmare could there be for someone paranoid of a lawsuit? Huge crowds of people surrounding you, rows upon rows of rowdy fans behind you occasionally throwing whatever they happen to have handy toward the field, and vendors walking up and down the aisles providing bioweapon ammunition?

They've apparently flirted with the idea of banning peanuts long ago, on cost grounds; and it failed because of tradition and song lyrics. I wonder, though... can even the legendarium of baseball stand against the litigious modern 21st-century society?

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© Brian Tiemann